Guess who smuggled an RE onboard

Do I have to sit next to this guy he keeps scoping me.

regardless enjoy your flight while we break down your molecular structure and move you between dimensions.

My seat is directly next to a family with twin infants.

****.

Shiiiit I have to sit next to the fat guy, how do all those peanuts taste

So long as I don't get seated next those Caldari scum and the Amarr don't try and convert me again. I just got the last bit of the brainwashing chemicals purged from my dropsuits.

The air marshal just tazed me for giving him some jack daniels and a flux grenade

Mcc's aren't built for intergalactic travel, if your going from the planet to a war barge sure but not travelling over 1000+ lightyears to another well entirely different plane of existence, you would actually need to punch a hole in the wall of the universe...well it's more like a rug actually,all intertwined and timey whimy mess of time and goop.

regardless enjoy your flight while we break down your molecular structure and move you between dimensions.

Aw man, do I HAVE to sit next to this dude for the next 12+ hours? Crap, its not easy living the life of a mercenary.

Mcc's aren't built for intergalactic travel, if your going from the planet to a war barge sure but not travelling over 1000+ lightyears to another well entirely different plane of existence, you would actually need to punch a hole in the wall of the universe...well it's more like a rug actually,all intertwined and timey whimy mess of time and goop.

regardless enjoy your flight while we break down your molecular structure and move you between dimensions.

a preview to this flight's movie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtY_545-ST8

a preview to this flight's movie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtY_545-ST8

By the way don't eat the defrosted tuna

Is suicide still strictly forbidden? Imma bout to blow my brains out all over this sissy scout that keeps getting up to take a **** every two seconds!!!

I always thought we were supposed to go in our suits

This is the longest I've kept a clone alive and i ate too many blueberries.

A clone once told me
" you know taste there are two kinds of mercs out there those that p/ss in there suits and those than lie about it."

Hope ya'll don't mind but I "accidentally" shot the pilot dead and now i'm flying and i'm bout to play Hank Williams Jr. at 110 decibels while I fly like a drunk through the asteroid field.

I'm ready for this bird to sail.

But in the meantime, I'll be stretching my legs out on the tarmac.

With my forge gun.

I'll nano inject whereever and whom ever I please. So... who wants millions of tiny robots inside them?

Warm nuts anyone?

I'm ready for this bird to sail.

But in the meantime, I'll be stretching my legs out on the tarmac.

With my forge gun.

too bad an aircraft is the size or bigger then a MCC to carry all the mercs over. So that little pea shooter is not going to do anything.

Well Its going to be a long flight...scew. it, hit me up man

These drink prices are ridiculous....

Where the hell is Free Beers when you need him?

Who wants to join me in the lavatory and join the 1mil mile hi club We are all clones here, so it ain't g@y

Who wants to join me in the lavatory and join the 1mil mile hi club We are all clones here, so it ain't g@y

if your the captain then who did I kill?

Darn, messed up on my timezone calculations again. I wanted to get in the game one last time and record all my skills and what levels I had them at before everything got reset.

I keep forgetting that CCP lives in the future, and their 10th is my 9th.

Oh well, I did record my overall stats last night just for the fun of it (total SP and the like).

All passengers, please ctfu (calm the fuzz up).

This is Captain Lannister, I have noticed many a merc harassing the female merc attendants. We would like you to remember, you need a "dolla if you wanna holla". We ask you kindly not to inject other mercs with your nanite injectors filling them with millions of tiny robots, because it is borderline homoerotic and creepy. We are not in coloradian airspace, so please turn in any quafeabis you all have been smoking.

We have added a new movie to our play list to remind all passengers what happens when you get too crunk/cray on a flight vessel.

Conair

In the event of an emergency all fatties can be used as a flotation device.

See, I told ya'll REP Tools are not prohibited... A'right?

Anyway, anyone bother to sell me a bottle of water for an ISK? I'll give you a discount for your next REP session.

That made me really confused as well - even after I made my GMT thread I wasn't sure. Keep forgetting they're a day a head of me.

Maken, please tune your music down a bit... I kinda don't stand this type, man.

(hides camera in bathroom then hooks it up to the tvs )

*jumps in his seat* Whoa, did this ship jus' do a barrel roll? VERMAAK!!!

Of course, but all I have is lemonade. WAIT that's not lemonade, it's just lemonade flavored. So how did you like that lemonade flavord uranium?

Um, you're suppose to hook the HDMI to that port over there. That's just the USB you hooked it to.

He climaxed in the lavatory.

*jumps in his seat* Whoa, did this ship jus' do a barrel roll? VERMAAK!!!

He climaxed in the lavatory.

It wasn't me, it was Drake. Now just go back to sleep (pulls out anus Nova knife) and that isn't blood coming out your neck, I spilled my strawberry quafe.

Mate, you know these kids' toys don't work on me, no sir.

*Presses his REP Tool to the neck, squeezes the trigger and relaxes*

Ah, tha's better. But you owe me two hundred thousand ISK now, man, I need my moral compensation. You neckstabber.

*Vermaak gets tackled by a Concord Air Marshall*

*stabs your repping hand and pins it to the fuselage*
Whatcha gonna do now? *takes your wallet* here's your chump change

*throws isk on the floor*

*Vermaak gets tackled by a Concord Air Marshall*

so... someone forgot to secure those containers in the cargo bay that had all those minmatar dudes in em, one of em fell down and killed some guy so...someone better go clean that **** up or someone is gunna slip in the mess...

*wrestles concord* HA, got your neck *1080-¦ twist*

-_-




Looks like we forgot to bring the updated Concord. I forgot the old ones can be tanked.

*pinned by CONCORD* HELP KUVAKEI!

This is your flight attendant Frodaris speaking, please note that all known 'trolls' are to remain in their section that is located directly under all of the other sections of the vessel. If trolls are found attempting to bother the other passengers outside of their designated area, they are to be ignored until they grow bored and return to their seats.

Also note that our trip to Tranquility will involve not just directly entering the galaxy, but also making the voyage to High-Sec space, which is currently the safest part of New Eden. Sadly though, we will have to enter TQ via a designated warp point at one of the Null-Sec systems. Fret not however, for we are being escorted by a fleet of the strongest ships that Concord can provide, so you may rest easy on that fact.

A reminder to all passengers: if you look out your windows at any point during the flight and notice a moving structure that is so massive that it could pass off as a space station, that is either a Titan-Class spaceship or a Sansha Mothership. If you see either one (or both), commence praying that you have a spare clone somewhere in our destination.

Thank you and have a safe flight! o/

.....did anyone hear a snake just now?

Huh, I see my REP Tool is working as intended. Good to hear.

Why... darn! I can't open this bag of peanuts, someone has Nova Knifes here?

Wake up Doe, we've more work to *shoots Ner'Zul in the liver* we can take these Concord fools

Why... darn! I can't open this bag of peanuts, someone has Nova Knifes here?

Why... darn! I can't open this bag of peanuts, someone has Nova Knifes here?

To all passengers: it would appear that some of your peers want to cause a ruckus, allow me to give you my response. "pulls out Prototype Scrambler Pistol" Please hold on to something tight, for we might experience turbulence whilst I pop heads.

Do I have to explain again? Oh, a'right, you were in the bathroom when I showed my rep modules. Come back to sleep *takes his previous helmet and bashes Kuvake with it, driving him unconscious as well* Seems like we're clear, mates! Now, if someone would kindly help me drag 'em kids into the cargo bay...



*grabs the Nova Knife that previously stuck out of Vermaak Doe's chest and tosses it safely over to Enkidu* Here you go, man. Enjoy your peanuts!

Am I the only one who can believe this would all happen if we were all on a plane together?

You do realize I Svered your spine with said Nova knives right?

So, how long have we been flying so far?

*leans back in his chair and falls asleep*

@Frodaris

Party pooper.

Said "previously", mate. And that was my clone's spine and your twin doin' this horrible deed.

Anyone got a Sharpie?

*Crawls out from under the luggage compartment and sneaks into a seat...*

https://urbummed.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/sharpie-face.jpg

*Walks up and down MCC*

*Notices ducktape on mercs dropsuit.*

...

Excuse me sir, I am conducting a random seat check. May I see your New Eden Passport?

*sneaks into captain's quarters*

Aargh, what is on my helmet? *looks at Maken* Not cool, mate, not cool at all. Vermaak, did you even hear the attendant's transmission? I thought he warned you quite well. And stop talking about slaves, you filthy, arrogant Amart. *goes back to sleeping with a snore*

Heeey, did that guy just...? Officer, we have a problem! Over there, in front of the Proto section!

*sneaks into captain's quarters*

"Points his Scrambler at Vermaak's skull from behind."

Sir, if you want to live long enough to do your best Top Gun impression with spare clones as an insurance policy, I would kindly ask that you return to your seat. Otherwise I will either shoot you in head or send you into one of the not-so-secure cargo containers by gunpoint.

*knocks you out and ties you to the toilet in the blue dot restroom

*Stops passport check on BetterHideGood*

*Sprints to cabin door*

STOP THESE SHENANIGANS! OPEN UP!

Over your shredded body! *Stacks up to wall with a shot gun *

*Stops passport check on BetterHideGood*

*Sprints to cabin door*

STOP THESE SHENANIGANS! OPEN UP!

"Fires a shot to his skull, bursts the door open and kills the twin just before he could shoot his shotgun"

Immortals they are not...

"Runs into the bathroom and shoots the urinating madman."

I will not have any pissing on officers in this ship!

Over your shredded body! *Stacks up to wall with a shot gun *

"Gets sent flying threw the bathroom door by the explosion and lands on Jesse Jayne"

Uh... hi there corp mate!

*Survives shot and pulls the pn off fodaris's grenade so he blows up before shooting kuvakei*

- we're in feythabolis Drake, bring the thanatos!

~ Roger, engaging now

"Gets revived and calls the fleet"

FC, this Flight Attendant Frodaris of the CCP Dust Bunny, two of our passengers have caused havoc, and one of them blew himself up as well! I am guessing that they had a plan or something like -

FC: They did have plan, as we are engaging a thanatos with a fleet at its back!

*face palms* not again Vermaak we already got in trouble last week........

So that's what an afterlife must be, eh? An alternative reality with a different course o' events. Officer, we gotta get those two guys to the scientists ASAP once we are at our destination.

Normally Concord would not help in Null, but there is a constant in New Eden: Rules tend to be broken.

How much time before we can make the jump to TQ?

Oh, one more thing about Concord, they are night unbeatable.

How do you think they keep High-sec safe?

You'd be surprised at how far Concord will go to make something as important to New Eden as this voyage run smoothly.

Now will someone shut this guy up and get the FC on the line?

Quafe, Exotic Dancers, and Mercenaries...

I think I saw The Damsel in the cargo hold somewhere, too...

We shall see.

"Knocks him out cold again, only with his fist this time"

That is how you shut someone up, now is the FC talking to us now, because we need an ETA on that jump and we don't need more enemy fleets on our asses!

*grabs popcorn*

(this is too funny) may i have some for some isk to wash the tast of the raspberry/blueberry peanuts we seem to have way to much of?

*Visits the Passenger seats* HEY there's a female Minmatar fight club brewing in the cargo hold, who wants to to come and see?

*Visits the Passenger seats* HEY there's a female Minmatar fight club brewing in the cargo hold, who wants to to come and see?

*leaves the popcorn and beer with truth*

I was there five seconds ago

He climaxed in the lavatory.

Now that those two are dealt with, back to doing my job!

To all passengers: the two idiots by the name of Varmaak are now the next weapons/contestants in the Minmatar fight club that is taking place in the cargo hold. Place your bets now!

I'm the pilot! Any o you who've enjoyed my dropship flights know that only God can save you now!

i welded the cockpit shut.

"Passengers, this is your captain speaking, it is a balmy eighty-seven degrees at our destination site where you will be offloaded for contract assignment and offloading to your new homes in New Eden. Pursuant to the change in captaincy i have changed the registry on the ship to Breakin Wind 514, and have altered our flight plan. We are several hours yet to our destination but I have opted to misappropriate company funds to acquire yet more hookers and beer for the lot of you.

Don't get too attached. Once we arrive i intend to crash the ship into District 12 of the planet. those of you who survive will need to make the long death march to District 1 or commit suicide. This is commonly referred to as the New Eden Express Bus.

Further pursuant to the seeking of my own amusement i have set the locks on the weapons lockers in the minmatar section to malfunction at random. In order to acquire a weapon you will need to tear out the neocom of the nearest fatty and use it to hack the malfunctioning locks. Section 7, 8 and 9 are the designated conflict areas, this debacle is being televised on Pay Per View in Hisec. Put on a good show, kiddies.

Clone Reactivation Units have been activated. Now hang on while I fly this thing through Pureblind and Stain before setting course for Jita.

*hears a loud THUD! and wakes up with a jump*

-I fight back the feeling of panic as I realize my whole field of vision is a wash of pure white. -Remembering my choice to take a window seat for the scenery on such a long trip, I start second guessing that impulse as the sounds of utter chaos drown out the momentary lack of vision.
Something flickers in my field of view- a hole in the white, then another. It's ice. On the window. I must have fell asleep- or passed out? The sound starts fading away as I start to make out whats on our starboard side..... Something is catching the starlight- I see white dots gracefully arcing towards us from the source..... I'm making out the familiar silhouette of a minmatar destroyer...... THUNK THUNK THUNK!!!
F***ING SNOWBALLS! I exclaim as I jump back from the window one last time.
I don't move very far- the heavy next to me has decided to use my Logi suit as a pillow- and despite our superior cloning technology, there apparently hasn't been a cure for sleep apnea

.....then the scene around me unfolds......

At least half of the mercs have their helmets off, some of them are melee'ing each other with them, the remaining ones are puking into them. Someone in row D is unloading into all of row C with a scrambler pistol..... "I thought those were supposed to be stowed" I think to myself.
A glance back out the window shows the Talwar along with the nebula behind him rotating out of view- apparently we're barrel rolling for no good reas--------*intercom breaks in* ATTTENSHUN MAGGOTS! (the wall of shouting and ?moaning? momentarily dissipates)
-silence-
*hic* we.... we need uh........ damnit, what- oh TH CAPTAIN REQUESSTZ MORE WHIZZZKEY! " Allllllllllllll my Exes........ live in Texassssss...." *another voice breaks in*- the copilot I presume.

Being used to corp comms planetside, I'm actually heartened that everything seems to be going along just fine. -However, just as I am turning my attention back towards Mr. Militia Heavy, pinning me in my seat, something catches my eye that freezes me dead in my Gallente tracks:
Article IV Section C: Blatant mis-use of a REP Tool.
The entire rear quadrant of my section is slumped lifelessly askew in their seats, as someone with feathers attached to his merc helmet is moving from row to row. Flux repair tool in hand, obviously modded and glowing green, he places the buisiness end directly onto the forehead of someone in a scout suit. zzzrrRRPPT!!! Pow!
Disgusted, I look away, clearly remembering my drill sergeant back on Gallente Prime.... "YOU EVER MISUSE THESE TOOLS GIVEN TO YOU BY YOUR GODLESS, DECADENT COUNTRY, YOU BETTER BE PREPARED TO DO A WEEKEND OF COMMUNITY SERVICE! (I pause to remember these last memories I had before my neural implants....) "YOU DAMN KIDS THESE DAYS- NOTHIN BUT TEST BONGS AND HOLO'REELS ROTTIN' YER BRAINS!!" ("Just like my grandpa" I shake my head and chuckle)

-vvvvrrrp- I nervously glance around as my neocom blinks- -Ha, no one actually turns these things off I say to myself as I notice a new message.

Sender: CK Tergerson

"Becc. Shouldn't have told me your seat number. Hope you liked the snowballs =)"

(another buzz and a new flash)

"Don't wait up for me, I'm not cut out for the merc life, those f*ckers are crazy. Comm me when you need an orbital (=)*"


I laugh to myself a little bit, knowing full well he'll owe me 50m isk sometime in the future for losing that bet....
I'm still laughing as I notice a guy in a proto suit and a guy in a skinweave suit LARPing with each other with foam scrambler pistols. I wonder to myself if someone is trolling them or if they're just gakked out on millions of tiny robots from Hawk dude....
I feel a *crunch* underneath my modestly lifted heels as I stretch a little bit, scanning around the rest of my surroundings- looking back down momentarily, I see peanut shells. Looking back across the isles, I see peanut shells everywhere, being thrown to and fro. My eyes rest on a single merc, struggling with an unopened bag. From the row in front of him, someone in a scout suit momentarily puts down the apple he was eating, and turns to offer assistance. In a state of utter confusion, I watch a sort of 'reverse sword swallowing scene' -where the beginning and end of the act are all mixed up---
To my horror, the Nova Knive in question is offered up toward the bag of edibles- Stifling the vomit reflex, I turn my head only to be confronted by what seems to be a dog-pile of 6 or 7 mercs, in some kind of homoerotic clone-fest---- Someone is yelling "IT'S NOT GAY WE'RE CLONES" and there seems to be a flowing river of liquid from the lavatory---------

Burrowing back down into my seat, I frantically dig into my utility pocket and grab my nanite injector. Eyeing the heavy next to me, I notice his tray-table down, with an unopened travel-sized bottle of Quafe Zero on top of it.
Wasting no time, I pop the tops of both the Quafe and Nanite Injector, emptying the contents into the syringe, and administering it directly to my neck...........

.............Feeling vibrations from beneath my feet, I hear what seems to be some kind of tribal chanting...... but as I slowly start nodding my head to the rhythm, and looking back out at the last few snowflakes peeling off my window, It all fades into the jingle bell sound of *ching ching ching ching ching ching..............................*

=)

See you on the other side- Beccs.

"Passengers, this is your captain speaking, it is a balmy eighty-seven degrees at our destination site where you will be offloaded for contract assignment and offloading to your new homes in New Eden. Pursuant to the change in captaincy i have changed the registry on the ship to Breakin Wind 514, and have altered our flight plan. We are several hours yet to our destination but I have opted to misappropriate company funds to acquire yet more hookers and beer for the lot of you.

Don't get too attached. Once we arrive i intend to crash the ship into District 12 of the planet. those of you who survive will need to make the long death march to District 1 or commit suicide. This is commonly referred to as the New Eden Express Bus.

Further pursuant to the seeking of my own amusement i have set the locks on the weapons lockers in the minmatar section to malfunction at random. In order to acquire a weapon you will need to tear out the neocom of the nearest fatty and use it to hack the malfunctioning locks. Section 7, 8 and 9 are the designated conflict areas, this debacle is being televised on Pay Per View in Hisec. Put on a good show, kiddies.

Clone Reactivation Units have been activated. Now hang on while I fly this thing through Pureblind and Stain before setting course for Jita.

The Minimatar Party is still going strong in the cargo hold.

Wait till the Gallente show up, we be the masters of partying!

Minmatar Feasts vs Gallente Parties, or combine the two!!

The Party of Free Peoples! Boo yeah!

Nah nah nah man caldari girls all the way...sure they make you pay more for the goods but man do you get your money's worth

*Pulls out knife and holds it to a passengers neck*

"I'm taking this ******* plane, we're gonna make a new stop in the COD servers. Get ready for ******* rubber-banding and lag switching"

This is like a whole new trip... hifive!

*runs over gives the most epic high five that a soinicboom happens and pushs everyone to the wall as the ship sudeenly drops from the epicness but quickly regains it self*

Ok guys let's stop messing around and head to the cockpit for the dubstep mosh pit!....first come first gets punched in the face

Party is in the hold brother. And we have good music down here

Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign. We are now crossing a zone of turbulence. Please return your seats and keep your seat belts fastened. Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign. We are now crossing a zone of turbulence. Please return your seats and keep your seat belts fastened. Thank you.

So please, no hero sh*t!

This is the Commander. We expect some forum turbulance from 12:00 GMT to 13:00 GMT so keep your seat belts on and avoid using the wash room around those times. We'll see you on the battlefields of New Eden soon.

YEAH TQ! TQ! TQ! TQ! Ican't wait to go there...I hear there are some lovly beaches and really hot laser beams from space

Mcc's aren't built for intergalactic travel, if your going from the planet to a war barge sure but not travelling over 1000+ lightyears to another well entirely different plane of existence, you would actually need to punch a hole in the wall of the universe...well it's more like a rug actually,all intertwined and timey whimy mess of time and goop.

regardless enjoy your flight while we break down your molecular structure and move you between dimensions.

I wish this Heavy sitting next to me would STFU about his precious HMG or I swear I'm gonna cook off a MD round right here

I hacked the trigger lock on your scrambler pistol. Its live.

You're welcome.

New Eden Is on the horizon, we aren't In Kansas anymore.

Just used my secret weapon, silent but deadly

Not talking about a nova knife.