A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. 'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.' Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.' She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?' (you're gonna love this) The bank manager looks back at her and says... 'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone.' (You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........) Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!!!

Wth= what the hell.

and this is nothin' you should see the pub chat when travis jamie and kramer are on.

You are lucky to get a word in edge-wise

I have jokes, but they are more disturbing and twisted and are not suitable for this. I mean, like, they are totally messed up.

define "messed up"

have a classic
http://i.imgur.com/7Tff9UF.jpg

I have jokes, but they are more disturbing and twisted and are not suitable for this. I mean, like, they are totally messed up.

I warned you.


The guy goes into the hospital, okay? His wife's just had a baby and he can't wait to see them both. So he meets the doctor and he says, 'Oh, Doc, I've been so worried. How are they?' And the doctor smiles and says, 'They're fine. Just fine. Your wife's delivered a healthy baby boy and they're both in tip-top form. You're one lucky guy.' So the guy rushes into the maternity ward with his flowers. But it's empty. His wife's bed is empty. 'Doc?' He says and turns around and the doctor and all the nurses wave their arms and scream in his face. 'April fools! Your wife's dead and the baby's a spastic!!'

I warned you.


The guy goes into the hospital, okay? His wife's just had a baby and he can't wait to see them both. So he meets the doctor and he says, 'Oh, Doc, I've been so worried. How are they?' And the doctor smiles and says, 'They're fine. Just fine. Your wife's delivered a healthy baby boy and they're both in tip-top form. You're one lucky guy.' So the guy rushes into the maternity ward with his flowers. But it's empty. His wife's bed is empty. 'Doc?' He says and turns around and the doctor and all the nurses wave their arms and scream in his face. 'April fools! Your wife's dead and the baby's a spastic!!'

Ummm ok what is CYOA? I'm not good with most abbreviations!

Oh ok thanks! I just haven't done any jokes in awhile a bit difficult doing it off my phone at work and left my computer at home which it made it easier to read up and keep up on forums!

some guy just sh*tposts on multiple threads pasting that pasta, a slightly different one. all the time bats are mentioned, it's funny.

Who's the some guy? Pasting pasta hmmm..... 1 spaghetti 2 spaghetti 3......... Fettucinni! Quit being a Winnie!

I make myself laugh.

Everyone's a winner.

i don't remember what he went by, i'd have to search the archives

"A CYOA that's all about childish memes and ********, fanmade batshit that the autists in this fandom made up just so they could finally create that special, edgy-looking OC they've always wanted? You batfags truly are cancer that is shitting up everything by shoving your autistic OCs and ******** headcanons about Luna's guards down everyones throats."


"Reminder that you are the cancer that is destroying this fandom by shoving your autistic headcanons about Luna's guards and your edgy-looking, snowflake OCs everywhere."


">No one can talk about Luna's guards without a batfag showing up and shitting up everything with his autistic headcanons and snowflake OCs
>The CYOA Discussion general is almost impossible to hang out in because batfags keeps circlejerking over the batcancerous characters who are in some CYOAs
You really are the cancer that is destroying this place with your fanmade and snowflake batshit."


this guy posts this every day.

Posted this in another joke thread:

So there is this saw mill in Ireland where they have this really wierd rule about amputations. The rule is thst if you cut your finger off, you stick it up your ass to stop the bleeding.

One day, Patty and Mick were working at the mill one day, Patty slipped and cut his finger off on one of the saw blades. He freaked out, pulled down his pants, and shoved his finger up his ass and pulled it out. It was still bleeding!

He freaked put even more and turned to Mick, saying: "Mick, I cut me bloody finger off, I shoved it up me ass and it's still bleeding."

Mick thought about it and then said, "You better shove it up me ass then." So he bent over, Patty shoved his finger up his ass and pulled it out. It was still bleeding, so Mick said "This is serious, you better show the foreman."

So Patty walks all the way over to the other side of the factory to see the foreman. He then said, "Foreman, I cut me bloody finger off, I shoved it up me ass, still bleeding, shoved it up Micks ass, and its still bleeding!"

The Foreman thought about it foe a second, then said: "You better shove it up me ass then!" So the Forement bent over, and he shoved it up his ass. When he pulled it out, it was still bleeding. "This is very serious," said the Foreman, "you better go to the manager!"

So Patty walked all the way over to the manager's office. When he got inside he explained: "I cut me bloody finger off, shoved it up me ass, still bleeding, shoved it up Mick's ass, still bleeding, shoved it up the Foreman's ass, and it's still f.cking bleeding!"

The manager stood up and said, "This is serious, better shove it up me ass!" So the Foreman bent over, Patty shoved it up his ass, pulled it out and it was still bleeding. "This is very serious," the manager said, "you better go see the nurse!"

So Patty walked over to the Nurse's office. When he got in, she asked him "What is the matter Patty?"

Patty took in a deep breathe, then said: "I cut me bloody finger off, shoved it up me ass, still bleeding, shoved it up Mick's ass, still bleeding, shoved it up Foreman's ass, still bleeding, shoved it up the Manager's ass, and it's still f.cking bleeding!"

The nurse thought about it, then said: "Well you better shove it up me ass!" So she stood up, bent over the desk and lifted her skirt. A minute later she screams "Patty! That's not me ass!"

And Patty says: "That's not me finger!"