| Pages: [1] 2 3 4 5 6 :: one page |
|
|
| Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 0 post(s) |
Jamie Survivors
Y.A.M.A.H
No Context
863
   |
Posted - 2015.08.30 02:37:00 -
[1] - Quote
A blonde girl comes back from school one evening. She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learned how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5, 6,7,8,9,10! It's good, innit?" "Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom. "Is that because I'm blonde?" she asks. "Yes, darling, it's because you're blonde." The mom says. Next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: "Mummy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! It's good, innit?" "Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom. "Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?" she asks. "Yes, darling it's because you're blonde." The mom says. Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming. Well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!" She proceeds to flash her impressive 36D at her mummy. "Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?" "No darling, it's because you're 25."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
Sned TheDead
Failures inc.
611
|
Posted - 2015.08.30 06:10:00 -
[2] - Quote
Jamie Survivors wrote:A blonde girl comes back from school one evening. She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learned how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5, 6,7,8,9,10! It's good, innit?" "Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom. "Is that because I'm blonde?" she asks. "Yes, darling, it's because you're blonde." The mom says. Next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: "Mummy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! It's good, innit?" "Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom. "Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?" she asks. "Yes, darling it's because you're blonde." The mom says. Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming. Well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!" She proceeds to flash her impressive 36D at her mummy. "Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?" "No darling, it's because you're 25."
ehehehhehehehehehahahaha.....
thats pretty good jamie, me likey.
Fav will always be kramers':
we all know what a 69 is right?
great, but how many of you know what 6.9 is?
No one?
6.9 is a wonderful thing, separated by a period :)
think on it.
Cleaning up the mess everyone leaves behind :)
Sned T. Dead
|
Radiant Pancake3
Destinys Immortals
Rise Of Legion.
839
|
Posted - 2015.08.30 06:19:00 -
[3] - Quote
Sned TheDead wrote:Jamie Survivors wrote:A blonde girl comes back from school one evening. She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learned how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5, 6,7,8,9,10! It's good, innit?" "Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom. "Is that because I'm blonde?" she asks. "Yes, darling, it's because you're blonde." The mom says. Next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: "Mummy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! It's good, innit?" "Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom. "Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?" she asks. "Yes, darling it's because you're blonde." The mom says. Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming. Well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!" She proceeds to flash her impressive 36D at her mummy. "Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?" "No darling, it's because you're 25." ehehehhehehehehehahahaha..... thats pretty good jamie, me likey. Fav will always be kramers': we all know what a 69 is right? great, but how many of you know what 6.9 is? No one? 6.9 is a wonderful thing, separated by a period :) think on it.
Oh mah gerd so genius...
Rejected by Dreis
Min Loyalist
|
Jamie Survivors
Y.A.M.A.H
No Context
901
|
Posted - 2015.08.30 15:29:00 -
[4] - Quote
Back in the early 80's Chevy Chase was one of the stars on Password. Toward the end of the game this black woman was ahead in points so she and Chevy were paired togetherfor the final part. He said the key word and she responded. Like this... he said calf, she said cow. Then it was kid, and she said goat. Finally he said doe, she said knob. Chevy busted into laughter.... He laughed so hard they didnt even get the chance to finish the game. Doe...Knob
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
Jamie Survivors
Y.A.M.A.H
No Context
901
|
Posted - 2015.08.30 15:33:00 -
[5] - Quote
I will be posting something as I come across some! If you have anything please share! If you came in to view these post you done came to far, you might as well post......hello! Even if its something in game. Hey post it, no hard feelings!!!!!!!!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
Sned TheDead
Failures inc.
625
|
Posted - 2015.08.30 16:03:00 -
[6] - Quote
Jamie Survivors wrote:Back in the early 80's Chevy Chase was one of the stars on Password. Toward the end of the game this black woman was ahead in points so she and Chevy were paired togetherfor the final part. He said the key word and she responded. Like this... he said calf, she said cow. Then it was kid, and she said goat. Finally he said doe, she said knob. Chevy busted into laughter.... He laughed so hard they didnt even get the chance to finish the game. Doe...Knob
heheheh....
I know so many people that would say the same thing...
Cleaning up the mess everyone leaves behind :)
Sned T. Dead
|
Jamie Survivors
Y.A.M.A.H
No Context
951
|
Posted - 2015.08.30 18:10:00 -
[7] - Quote
A blonde was hunched over the bar, toothpick in hand, spearing futilely at the olive in her drink. A dozen times the olive eluded her. Finally, another patron, who had been watching intently from the next stool, became exasperated and grabbed the toothpick. "Here, this is how you do it." he said, as he easily skewered the olive. "Big Deal," muttered the blonde. "I already had him so tired out, he couldn't get away."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
Jamie Survivors
Y.A.M.A.H
No Context
951
|
Posted - 2015.08.30 18:18:00 -
[8] - Quote
A blonde who had been unemployed for several months got a job with Public Works. She was to paint lines down the center of a rural road. The supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she must stay at or above the set average of 2 miles per day to remain employed. The blonde agreed to the conditions and starts right away. The supervisor checking up at the end of the day, found that the blonde had completed 4 miles on her first day, double the average! "Great," he told her, "I think you're really going to work out." The next day, however, he was disappointed to find that the blonde only accomplished 2 miles. The supervisor thought, "Well she's still at the average and I don't want to discourage her, so I'll just keep quiet." On the third day, the blonde only did one mile and the boss thought, "I need to talk to her before this gets any worse." The boss pulled the new employee in and says, "You were doing so great. The first day you did 4 miles, the second day 2 miles, but yesterday you only did one mile. Why? Is there a problem? An injury, equipment failure? What's keeping you from meeting the 2 mile minimum?" The blonde replied, "Well, each day I keep getting further and further away from the bucket."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
soulreaper73
PFB Pink Fluffy Bunnies
1
|
Posted - 2015.08.30 18:19:00 -
[9] - Quote
google nestle knockout |
Jamie Survivors
Y.A.M.A.H
No Context
952
|
Posted - 2015.08.30 18:36:00 -
[10] - Quote
soulreaper73 wrote:google nestle knockout
Lol good one Soulreaper! This is it!
The nestle knockout is when you fist a s*xual partner in the a** while punching them in the face with the other hand. It is usually performed while having s*x in the doggy style position.
The word was first used in the main stream by comedian Bill Dawes in a stand up routine.
So I put a finger in her butt, and she was like: "Umm, what are you doing?!? Put your whole fist in there! And punch me in the face! I want the whole Nestle Knockout!!!"
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
|
|
Jamie Survivors
Y.A.M.A.H
No Context
963
|
Posted - 2015.08.31 00:20:00 -
[11] - Quote
A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore I chose "Carmen". "What's your name?" she asked. He answered "B.J. Titsengolf."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
Jamie Survivors
Y.A.M.A.H
No Context
964
|
Posted - 2015.08.31 01:06:00 -
[12] - Quote
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress." "Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!" "I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris , no more wintering in Barbados , no more summers in Tuscany , no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours." Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband. "Ours is prettier," she replies.
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
soulreaper73
PFB Pink Fluffy Bunnies
1
|
Posted - 2015.08.31 13:30:00 -
[13] - Quote
Jamie Survivors wrote:soulreaper73 wrote:google nestle knockout Lol good one Soulreaper! This is it! The nestle knockout is when you fist a s*xual partner in the a** while punching them in the face with the other hand. It is usually performed while having s*x in the doggy style position. The word was first used in the main stream by comedian Bill Dawes in a stand up routine. So I put a finger in her butt, and she was like: "Umm, what are you doing?!? Put your whole fist in there! And punch me in the face! I want the whole Nestle Knockout!!!"
I actually think you are supposed to use the hand that was doing the fist thing for the knockout blow,
|
Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
|
Posted - 2015.09.02 00:39:00 -
[14] - Quote
soulreaper73 wrote:Jamie Survivors wrote:soulreaper73 wrote:google nestle knockout Lol good one Soulreaper! This is it! The nestle knockout is when you fist a s*xual partner in the a** while punching them in the face with the other hand. It is usually performed while having s*x in the doggy style position. The word was first used in the main stream by comedian Bill Dawes in a stand up routine. So I put a finger in her butt, and she was like: "Umm, what are you doing?!? Put your whole fist in there! And punch me in the face! I want the whole Nestle Knockout!!!" I actually think you are supposed to use the hand that was doing the fist thing for the knockout blow,
Funny either way! lol
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
|
Posted - 2015.09.02 00:40:00 -
[15] - Quote
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. "Breast-fed" she replied. "Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed, he said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk." "I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
|
Posted - 2015.09.02 18:36:00 -
[16] - Quote
For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it." The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and no bike!" 
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
Sned TheDead
Failures inc.
665
|
Posted - 2015.09.02 18:54:00 -
[17] - Quote
Jamie Survivors wrote:For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it." The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and no bike!"
wooowwww...
classy jamie, classy....
Cleaning up the mess everyone leaves behind :)
Sned T. Dead
|
Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
|
Posted - 2015.09.02 20:11:00 -
[18] - Quote
A guy is 86 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up." He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up." He looked in the water and there, floating on the top was a frog. The man said, "Are you talking to me?" The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride." The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket. Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride." He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."
lol this old boy was smart! money hungry bish's....... (when you see a hot young chic with a man about to croak)
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
Jonny D Buelle
Mors Effera
1
|
Posted - 2015.09.02 21:21:00 -
[19] - Quote
A bus full of ginger's crashed into the river, not a soul was found.
Give me my Plasma Flamethrower or give me a cookie!
|
Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
|
Posted - 2015.09.02 22:02:00 -
[20] - Quote
Jonny D Buelle wrote:A bus full of ginger's crashed into the river, not a soul was found.
Lol good one!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
|
|
VAHZZ
RabbitSwarm
8
|
Posted - 2015.09.02 22:28:00 -
[21] - Quote
Wth you guys...
"I fear all you have done is awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve."
20XX
|
Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
|
Posted - 2015.09.02 23:41:00 -
[22] - Quote
VAHZZ wrote:Wth you guys...
???? What.... haha Is that your joke!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
|
Posted - 2015.09.03 01:33:00 -
[23] - Quote
One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it. "Oh, that," Frank said. "Every time I cheated on you, I put an egg in this box." Sue was a bit unhappy about this, but figured that 3 affairs over twenty years wasn't so bad. "But what about the 10,000 dollars?" "Every time I got a dozen, I sold them."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
Sned TheDead
Failures inc.
665
|
Posted - 2015.09.03 02:47:00 -
[24] - Quote
Jamie Survivors wrote:VAHZZ wrote:Wth you guys... ???? What.... haha Is that your joke!
Wth= what the hell.
and this is nothin' you should see the pub chat when travis jamie and kramer are on.
You are lucky to get a word in edge-wise
Cleaning up the mess everyone leaves behind :)
Sned T. Dead
|
Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
|
Posted - 2015.09.03 14:10:00 -
[25] - Quote
Sned TheDead wrote:Jamie Survivors wrote:VAHZZ wrote:Wth you guys... ???? What.... haha Is that your joke! Wth= what the hell. and this is nothin' you should see the pub chat when travis jamie and kramer are on. You are lucky to get a word in edge-wise
haha thanks Sned, I'm a bit behind on all the abbreviations! all this eWar and CQC and whatever else is used I get lost in reading and understanding because I don't know what the stand for!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
Sned TheDead
Failures inc.
667
|
Posted - 2015.09.03 17:36:00 -
[26] - Quote
Jamie Survivors wrote:Sned TheDead wrote:Jamie Survivors wrote:VAHZZ wrote:Wth you guys... ???? What.... haha Is that your joke! Wth= what the hell. and this is nothin' you should see the pub chat when travis jamie and kramer are on. You are lucky to get a word in edge-wise haha thanks Sned, I'm a bit behind on all the abbreviations! all this eWar and CQC and whatever else is used I get lost in reading and understanding because I don't know what the stand for!
I think wish texted you last night, but in case he didn't: E-War is electronic warfare, and CQC is close quarters combat.
If you have any others, I'd be happy to look them up for you :)
Cleaning up the mess everyone leaves behind :)
Sned T. Dead
|
Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
|
Posted - 2015.09.03 20:11:00 -
[27] - Quote
Sned TheDead wrote:Jamie Survivors wrote:Sned TheDead wrote:Jamie Survivors wrote:VAHZZ wrote:Wth you guys... ???? What.... haha Is that your joke! Wth= what the hell. and this is nothin' you should see the pub chat when travis jamie and kramer are on. You are lucky to get a word in edge-wise haha thanks Sned, I'm a bit behind on all the abbreviations! all this eWar and CQC and whatever else is used I get lost in reading and understanding because I don't know what the stand for! I think wish texted you last night, but in case he didn't: E-War is electronic warfare, and CQC is close quarters combat. If you have any others, I'd be happy to look them up for you :)
Yeah I got his text on it! Thanks
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
|
Posted - 2015.09.04 01:02:00 -
[28] - Quote
*Party Down South* woohoo
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
|
Posted - 2015.09.06 00:20:00 -
[29] - Quote
A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied, "Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter. But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you." The husband was thinking to himself, "Oh no, what has he done now?" and said with trepidation, "Well what did you name them?" The brother replied, "I named the little girl Denise." The husband, relieved, said, "That's a very pretty name! What did you come up with for my son?" The brother replied, "Denephew."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
Sned TheDead
Failures inc.
721
|
Posted - 2015.09.06 04:41:00 -
[30] - Quote
Jamie Survivors wrote:A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied, "Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter. But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you." The husband was thinking to himself, "Oh no, what has he done now?" and said with trepidation, "Well what did you name them?" The brother replied, "I named the little girl Denise." The husband, relieved, said, "That's a very pretty name! What did you come up with for my son?" The brother replied, "Denephew."
^ heheheh nice.
MUSIC!
Sned T. Dead
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
| Pages: [1] 2 3 4 5 6 :: one page |
| First page | Previous page | Next page | Last page |