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Oswald Rehnquist
820
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Posted - 2013.12.10 00:20:00 -
[1] - Quote
In response to the FW 2.0
I thought it would be appropriate to set the record straight, I came up with a few jokes and used a few old jokes that EVE used to circulate all the time, so lets do this
Gallente Jokes
Q:How do you separate the men from the boys in the Gallente Federation?
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A:With a crowbar
Three Pirates, a Minmatar, a Caldari, and a Gallente, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out the Minmatar and stand him in front of the pole.
He points and shouts, "Electrial Short!" They all look and the Minmatar runs away. Next, they place the Caldari in front of the firing squad.
He yells "Spacial Rift!" They all hit the dust and the Caldari escapes.
Next up is the Gallente. He looks around and shouts "Fire!"
Q:How many Gallente units can fit onto a Phobos?
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A:Not very many since they lack drone bays.
A Caldari man, a Gallente man and an Amarr woman are all on an Interbus shuttle. The pilot gets on the speaker and tells them "hi folks, just so you're aware, we're experiencing intermittent capacitor problems. The lights in the passenger compartment might fail briefly. Please don't be alarmed when it happens."
Sure enough a few minutes later, the lights go out. In the brief darkness, there's a smooching sound and a slap, and when the lights come back up the Gallentean is nursing a bruised jaw.
The Amarrian is thinking: "That Gallente creep must have tried to steal a kiss from me in the dark and kissed the Caldari accidentally. Serve him right!"
The Gallentean is thinking: "What the hell? I guess that Caldari must have kissed the Amarrian and she slapped me in the dark by mistake. Bastard!"
The Caldari is thinking: "This is great! I hope the lights go again so I can make that smooching sound and smack the Gallente again!"
None Gallente Jokes
I saw a brutor tribesman carrying a TV down the street, and I thought to myself "Did someone steal mine?!"
Then I remembered, mine was at home, mowing the lawn.
Q:How is minmatar gear like the start war universe?
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---
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A:It's all connected by a universal force which has a dark side and a light..... sticky side.
Below 28 dB
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DUST Fiend
OSG Planetary Operations
Covert Intervention
8566
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Posted - 2013.12.10 00:21:00 -
[2] - Quote
Aww, a Caldari trying to be clever.
It's like watching a monkey paint with poo
Win ISK / Vids / O7
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Cody Sietz
Unkn0wn Killers
Renegade Alliance
1746
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Posted - 2013.12.10 00:28:00 -
[3] - Quote
I laugh honestly.
The fire one and the smooching sound one were pretty funny.
"I do agree with you there though. shudders"
-Arkena Wyrnspire
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Mac Dac
Wraith Shadow Guards
D.E.F.I.A.N.C.E
332
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Posted - 2013.12.10 00:29:00 -
[4] - Quote
Inb4 True
"We should take care not to make intellect our god; it has, of course, strong muscles, but no personality" Albert Einste
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KING CHECKMATE
Scions of Athra
2896
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Posted - 2013.12.10 00:32:00 -
[5] - Quote
Didnt know Caldaris had good sense of humor. +1
SCR User Since release. Charge shot / Aim to the head / Listen to QQ
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True Adamance
Scions of Athra
4679
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Posted - 2013.12.10 00:39:00 -
[6] - Quote
I don't care just posting so Mac was right.
"All things were created by the Divine, and so the glory of our faith is inherent to us all"
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Mac Dac
Wraith Shadow Guards
D.E.F.I.A.N.C.E
333
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Posted - 2013.12.10 00:40:00 -
[7] - Quote
Oswald Rehnquist wrote:In response to the FW 2.0
I thought it would be appropriate to set the record straight, I came up with a few jokes and used a few old jokes that EVE used to circulate all the time, so lets do this
Gallente Jokes
Q:How do you separate the men from the boys in the Gallente Federation?
---
---
---
A:With a crowbar
Three Pirates, a Minmatar, a Caldari, and a Gallente, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out the Minmatar and stand him in front of the pole.
He points and shouts, "Electrial Short!" They all look and the Minmatar runs away. Next, they place the Caldari in front of the firing squad.
He yells "Spacial Rift!" They all hit the dust and the Caldari escapes.
Next up is the Gallente. He looks around and shouts "Fire!"
Q:How many Gallente units can fit onto a Phobos?
---
---
---
A:Not very many since they lack drone bays.
A Caldari man, a Gallente man and an Amarr woman are all on an Interbus shuttle. The pilot gets on the speaker and tells them "hi folks, just so you're aware, we're experiencing intermittent capacitor problems. The lights in the passenger compartment might fail briefly. Please don't be alarmed when it happens."
Sure enough a few minutes later, the lights go out. In the brief darkness, there's a smooching sound and a slap, and when the lights come back up the Gallentean is nursing a bruised jaw.
The Amarrian is thinking: "That Gallente creep must have tried to steal a kiss from me in the dark and kissed the Caldari accidentally. Serve him right!"
The Gallentean is thinking: "What the hell? I guess that Caldari must have kissed the Amarrian and she slapped me in the dark by mistake. Bastard!"
The Caldari is thinking: "This is great! I hope the lights go again so I can make that smooching sound and smack the Gallente again!"
None Gallente Jokes
I saw a brutor tribesman carrying a TV down the street, and I thought to myself "Did someone steal mine?!"
Then I remembered, mine was at home, mowing the lawn.
Q:How is minmatar gear like the start war universe?
---
---
---
A:It's all connected by a universal force which has a dark side and a light..... sticky side.
truly funny +1
"We should take care not to make intellect our god; it has, of course, strong muscles, but no personality" Albert Einste
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Maitue Mae
Vortex State Empire
Dark Taboo
18
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Posted - 2013.12.10 00:41:00 -
[8] - Quote
I had this good Gallente joke, but I can't remember it now. Had something to do with FREEDOM. |
Mac Dac
Wraith Shadow Guards
D.E.F.I.A.N.C.E
333
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Posted - 2013.12.10 00:42:00 -
[9] - Quote
True Adamance wrote:I don't care just posting so Mac was right.
"We should take care not to make intellect our god; it has, of course, strong muscles, but no personality" Albert Einste
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DeadlyAztec11
2645
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Posted - 2013.12.10 00:42:00 -
[10] - Quote
So why did the Caldari dehydrate?
They forgot to tell the boy to drink after they told him to stay.
Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened.
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True Adamance
Scions of Athra
4682
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Posted - 2013.12.10 00:50:00 -
[11] - Quote
DeadlyAztec11 wrote:So why did the Caldari dehydrate?
They forgot to tell the boy to drink after they told him to stay.
That's discipline and an experience I suggest every merc go through.
"All things were created by the Divine, and so the glory of our faith is inherent to us all"
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Phazoid
The Unholy Legion Of DarkStar
DARKSTAR ARMY
121
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Posted - 2013.12.10 00:54:00 -
[12] - Quote
Maitue Mae wrote:I had this good Gallente joke, but I can't remember it now. Had something to do with CORRUPTION.
fix that one for you
Ib'tuur jatne tuur ash'ad kyr'amur (Today is a good day for someone else to die).
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DeadlyAztec11
2648
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Posted - 2013.12.10 00:59:00 -
[13] - Quote
True Adamance wrote:DeadlyAztec11 wrote:So why did the Caldari dehydrate?
They forgot to tell the boy to drink after they told him to stay. That's discipline and an experience I suggest every merc go through.
You first.
Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened.
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Maitue Mae
Vortex State Empire
Dark Taboo
18
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Posted - 2013.12.10 00:59:00 -
[14] - Quote
Phazoid wrote:Maitue Mae wrote:I had this good Gallente joke, but I can't remember it now. Had something to do with CORRUPTION. fix that one for you
What ever makes you Happy, Goldie.  |
Onesimus Tarsus
698
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Posted - 2013.12.10 01:03:00 -
[15] - Quote
Wanna hear a joke about factional warfare?
...
The Caldari!
Get it?
Three Caldari walk into a building, I guess it was the lack of eye-holes in their masks.
How many Caldari psychiatrists does it take to change a NULL cannon?
One, but the NULL cannon has to want to change.
Big red button that respecs your SP on demand.
Protos only get points from killing protos.
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True Adamance
Scions of Athra
4684
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Posted - 2013.12.10 01:05:00 -
[16] - Quote
DeadlyAztec11 wrote:True Adamance wrote:DeadlyAztec11 wrote:So why did the Caldari dehydrate?
They forgot to tell the boy to drink after they told him to stay. That's discipline and an experience I suggest every merc go through. You first.
I have done it, was implied in my statement.
"All things were created by the Divine, and so the glory of our faith is inherent to us all"
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Maitue Mae
Vortex State Empire
Dark Taboo
18
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Posted - 2013.12.10 01:12:00 -
[17] - Quote
True Adamance wrote:DeadlyAztec11 wrote:True Adamance wrote:DeadlyAztec11 wrote:So why did the Caldari dehydrate?
They forgot to tell the boy to drink after they told him to stay. That's discipline and an experience I suggest every merc go through. You first. I have done it, was implied in my statement.
Wow, you goldies are really Hardcore. Or just take your training very seriously. |
DeadlyAztec11
2649
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Posted - 2013.12.10 01:20:00 -
[18] - Quote
Leave it to an Amarr to turn a thread about jokes into a serious discussion.
Bravo.
Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened.
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Vulpes Dolosus
SVER True Blood
Public Disorder.
417
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Posted - 2013.12.10 01:22:00 -
[19] - Quote
So I'm flying around low sec when I come across a wreck. I spent 5 mins trying to salvage it until the Rifter shot back.
Dropship Specialist: AKA Clinically Insane
Kills- Incubus: 3; Pythons: 0; Logistics: 0; Militia: 19; Tanks: 4
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True Adamance
Scions of Athra
4685
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Posted - 2013.12.10 01:30:00 -
[20] - Quote
DeadlyAztec11 wrote:Leave it to an Amarr to turn a thread about jokes into a serious discussion.
Bravo.
Jokes are fine, Gallente are funny.
"All things were created by the Divine, and so the glory of our faith is inherent to us all"
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KING CHECKMATE
Scions of Athra
2904
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Posted - 2013.12.10 01:35:00 -
[21] - Quote
DeadlyAztec11 wrote:Leave it to an Amarr to turn a thread about jokes into a serious discussion.
.
Two Gallente Scouts are out in the battlefield when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls his Squad leader.
He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do? The enemy will be here any moment now!"
The Squad leader says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" ........
SCR User Since release. Charge shot / Aim to the head / Listen to QQ
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KING CHECKMATE
Scions of Athra
2904
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Posted - 2013.12.10 01:39:00 -
[22] - Quote
Since it started to rain acid, my Matari Slave can't stop looking through the window.
If it will start pouring down, I'm afraid I will have to let him inside.......
SCR User Since release. Charge shot / Aim to the head / Listen to QQ
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KING CHECKMATE
Scions of Athra
2904
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Posted - 2013.12.10 01:41:00 -
[23] - Quote
How many Gallente scouts does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
SCR User Since release. Charge shot / Aim to the head / Listen to QQ
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DUST Fiend
OSG Planetary Operations
Covert Intervention
8582
|
Posted - 2013.12.10 01:43:00 -
[24] - Quote
There's a reason the Amarr like gold so much, and it has a whole lot to do with showers
Win ISK / Vids / O7
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DeadlyAztec11
2650
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Posted - 2013.12.10 01:46:00 -
[25] - Quote
A man has a stroke on the streets, an Amarr man calls "Be at peace I am a professional.". He prays. "That's all I got."
Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened.
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Eris Ernaga
State Patriots
880
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Posted - 2013.12.10 01:48:00 -
[26] - Quote
This entertained me especially Dark fiends comment about you painting with poo.
Closed Beta Vet
State Patriots public - State Patriots - join for Caldari and Amarr factional warfare.
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Epicsting pro
FACTION WARFARE ARMY
314
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Posted - 2013.12.10 01:49:00 -
[27] - Quote
My gallente asked my to help fix his ship.
I threw him some duct tape.
For the mother land.
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Oswald Rehnquist
826
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Posted - 2013.12.10 01:50:00 -
[28] - Quote
Eris Ernaga wrote:This entertained me especially Dark fiends comment about you painting with poo.
But the real question is who was the canvas?
Below 28 dB
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DeadlyAztec11
2652
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Posted - 2013.12.10 01:53:00 -
[29] - Quote
Caldari merc (__) : What are you looking at four eyes?
Gallante merc (:_:) : Not much no face.
Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened.
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Vulpes Dolosus
SVER True Blood
Public Disorder.
422
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Posted - 2013.12.10 01:55:00 -
[30] - Quote
Amarr pray for Power
Caldari pray for Strength
Gallente pray for Peace
MInmatar pray their suits don't fall apart.
Why are the Minmatar the fastest race?
The rest got caught.
Dropship Specialist: AKA Clinically Insane
Kills- Incubus: 3; Pythons: 0; Logistics: 0; Militia: 19; Tanks: 4
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