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Humble Seeker
Scions of Athra
103
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Posted - 2013.12.10 01:56:00 -
[31] - Quote
DeadlyAztec11 wrote:Caldari merc (__) : What are you looking at four eyes?
Gallante merc (:_:) : Not much no face.
Minmatar merc: 
"Surround yourself with the faithful, Stand together, for there is no strength like it under the heavens."
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Cat Merc
Ahrendee Mercenaries
EoN.
4581
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Posted - 2013.12.10 02:01:00 -
[32] - Quote
How many Caldari mercs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Infinite, they can't tell that the lights are out.
Shield regeneration bonus for Gallente Assault is about as useful as Sharpshooter for Nova Knives.
Tuna > Tacos
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Patrick57
Fatal Absolution
1952
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Posted - 2013.12.10 02:05:00 -
[33] - Quote
Oswald Rehnquist wrote:I saw a brutor tribesman carrying a TV down the street, and I thought to myself "Did someone steal mine?!"
Then I remembered, mine was at home, mowing the lawn.
Thank goodness this is about a video game, otherwise I would've felt bad about laughing.
When I'm depressed, I cut myself......A BIG SLICE OF CHOCOLATE CAKE!
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Phazoid
The Unholy Legion Of DarkStar
DARKSTAR ARMY
125
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Posted - 2013.12.10 02:07:00 -
[34] - Quote
time for dirty joke, a gallente a minmatar and an amarr encountered a canibalistic tribe on a jungle, they cannibals say, well you have to find 10 fruits of the same kind IF you dont want to be killed and eaten, after 1 hour comes the minmatar with 10 melons, the tribal leader says well now you have to put put those melons up your a-s if you scream or make any noise we will kill and eat you, the minmatar does as told but screams on the second melon, so they killed him, 30 mins later comes the amarr with 10 cherries, the tribal leader says tells the amarr the same he told the minmatar, so the amarr starts, 1 cherrie, 2, 5, 8 and when he was 1 cherry short he starts laughing, so they killed him, so back at the MCC the minmatar asks him why did he laughed?, the amarr tells him, "well slave i turned around and saw the gallente coming with 10 pineapples".
Ib'tuur jatne tuur ash'ad kyr'amur (Today is a good day for someone else to die).
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DUST Fiend
OSG Planetary Operations
Covert Intervention
8588
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Posted - 2013.12.10 02:12:00 -
[35] - Quote
Phazoid wrote:time for dirty joke, a gallente a minmatar and an amarr encountered a canibalistic tribe on a jungle, they cannibals say, well you have to find 10 fruits of the same kind IF you dont want to be killed and eaten, after 1 hour comes the minmatar with 10 melons, the tribal leader says well now you have to put put those melons up your a-s if you scream or make any noise we will kill and eat you, the minmatar does as told but screams on the second melon, so they killed him, 30 mins later comes the amarr with 10 cherries, the tribal leader says tells the amarr the same he told the minmatar, so the amarr starts, 1 cherrie, 2, 5, 8 and when he was 1 cherry short he starts laughing, so they killed him, so back at the MCC the minmatar asks him why did he laughed?, the amarr tells him, "well slave i turned around and saw the gallente coming with 10 pineapples".
Jokes on you.
Gallente have evolved beyond the need for buttholes
Win ISK / Vids / O7
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Mobius Wyvern
Guardian Solutions
DARKSTAR ARMY
4032
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Posted - 2013.12.10 02:17:00 -
[36] - Quote
Why do we not have more threads for this? I almost wet myself laughing.
Amidst the blue skies
A link from past to future
The sheltering wings of the protector
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Dagger-Two
Villore Joint Task Force
Villore Accords
163
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Posted - 2013.12.10 02:18:00 -
[37] - Quote
Oswald Rehnquist wrote:
Q:How do you separate the men from the boys in the Amarr Empire?
---
---
---
A:With a crowbar
Changed that for you.
*cough*Chamberlain Karsoth*cough* |
Humble Seeker
Scions of Athra
105
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Posted - 2013.12.10 02:36:00 -
[38] - Quote
Dagger-Two wrote:Oswald Rehnquist wrote:
Q:How do you separate the men from the boys in the Amarr Empire?
---
---
---
A:With a crowbar
Changed that for you. *cough*Chamberlain Karsoth*cough*
Man I hated that guy. Grimy bastard of a person.
"Surround yourself with the faithful, Stand together, for there is no strength like it under the heavens."
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KING CHECKMATE
Scions of Athra
2917
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Posted - 2013.12.10 02:38:00 -
[39] - Quote
Then:
Q:How do you stop a MINMATAR TANK!?
A:Just shoot the guy whos pushing it.
SCR User Since release. Charge shot / Aim to the head / Listen to QQ
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Cat Merc
Ahrendee Mercenaries
EoN.
4583
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Posted - 2013.12.10 02:46:00 -
[40] - Quote
KING CHECKMATE wrote:Then:
Q:How do you stop a MINMATAR TANK!?
A:Just shoot the guy whos pushing it.
How do you stop an Amarr tank?
Hack it and turn variable God into False.
Shield regeneration bonus for Gallente Assault is about as useful as Sharpshooter for Nova Knives.
Tuna > Tacos
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DUST Fiend
OSG Planetary Operations
Covert Intervention
8593
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Posted - 2013.12.10 02:47:00 -
[41] - Quote
Cat Merc wrote:KING CHECKMATE wrote:Then:
Q:How do you stop a MINMATAR TANK!?
A:Just shoot the guy whos pushing it. Q:How do you stop an Amarr tank? A.Hack it and turn variable God into False.
Actually, you just throw a solid gold phallus anywhere near the tank, then shoot the pilot as he desperately scrambles out to grab it.
Win ISK / Vids / O7
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Sgt Kirk
SyNergy Gaming
EoN.
3415
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Posted - 2013.12.10 02:51:00 -
[42] - Quote
DUST Fiend wrote:Aww, a Caldari trying to be clever. It's like watching a monkey paint with poo
looooool.
+1 good sir |
DeadlyAztec11
2664
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Posted - 2013.12.10 02:54:00 -
[43] - Quote
What line do you use on Matar girls?
"Yo girl I like that junk in yo trunk."
Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened.
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DUST Fiend
OSG Planetary Operations
Covert Intervention
8593
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Posted - 2013.12.10 02:55:00 -
[44] - Quote
DeadlyAztec11 wrote:What line do you use on Matar girls?
"Yo girl I like that junk in yo trunk."
Priceless.
Seriously, you can't sell that ****, why else do you think she's a slave?
Win ISK / Vids / O7
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Mobius Wyvern
Guardian Solutions
DARKSTAR ARMY
4034
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Posted - 2013.12.10 02:58:00 -
[45] - Quote
Cat Merc wrote:KING CHECKMATE wrote:Then:
Q:How do you stop a MINMATAR TANK!?
A:Just shoot the guy whos pushing it. Q:How do you stop an Amarr tank? A.Hack it and turn variable God into False.
SHOTS FIRED
Amidst the blue skies
A link from past to future
The sheltering wings of the protector
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True Adamance
Scions of Athra
4707
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Posted - 2013.12.10 02:59:00 -
[46] - Quote
DUST Fiend wrote:Cat Merc wrote:KING CHECKMATE wrote:Then:
Q:How do you stop a MINMATAR TANK!?
A:Just shoot the guy whos pushing it. Q:How do you stop an Amarr tank? A.Hack it and turn variable God into False. Actually, you just throw a solid gold phallus anywhere near the tank, then shoot the pilot as he desperately scrambles out to grab it.
Hell think of how much ISK that golden Phallus would net me though....but I'd prolly make it back with Gold in hand and drive off.
"All things were created by the Divine, and so the glory of our faith is inherent to us all"
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True Adamance
Scions of Athra
4707
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Posted - 2013.12.10 03:01:00 -
[47] - Quote
Mobius Wyvern wrote:Cat Merc wrote:KING CHECKMATE wrote:Then:
Q:How do you stop a MINMATAR TANK!?
A:Just shoot the guy whos pushing it. Q:How do you stop an Amarr tank? A.Hack it and turn variable God into False. SHOTS FIRED
I seriously don't get the joke Cat Merc....variable God? into whut?
"All things were created by the Divine, and so the glory of our faith is inherent to us all"
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Humble Seeker
Scions of Athra
108
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Posted - 2013.12.10 03:04:00 -
[48] - Quote
True Adamance wrote:Mobius Wyvern wrote:Cat Merc wrote:KING CHECKMATE wrote:Then:
Q:How do you stop a MINMATAR TANK!?
A:Just shoot the guy whos pushing it. Q:How do you stop an Amarr tank? A.Hack it and turn variable God into False. SHOTS FIRED I seriously don't get the joke Cat Merc....variable God? into whut?
He thinks he's being edgy. Don't get too close.
"Surround yourself with the faithful, Stand together, for there is no strength like it under the heavens."
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DeadlyAztec11
2666
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Posted - 2013.12.10 03:08:00 -
[49] - Quote
A Caldari describing a hook up.
"So I saw the target right there on the bar, she had forgotten to cover her flanks so I went in for the kill. She corroborated accordingly. I proceeded to take her back to me base so we could service each other covertly. The operation was flawless."
Gallante - We still talking about girls or...?
Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened.
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True Adamance
Scions of Athra
4709
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Posted - 2013.12.10 03:10:00 -
[50] - Quote
DeadlyAztec11 wrote:A Caldari describing a hook up.
"So I saw the target right there on the bar, she had forgotten to cover her flanks so I went in for the kill. She corroborated accordingly. I proceeded to take her back to my base so we could service each other covertly. The operation was flawless."
Gallante - We still talking about girls or...?
You know that most normal people in the Empires which ever one you pick.....are just....well....normal.....
"All things were created by the Divine, and so the glory of our faith is inherent to us all"
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KING CHECKMATE
Scions of Athra
2924
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Posted - 2013.12.10 03:13:00 -
[51] - Quote
At one Minmatar Army base, the annual trip to the Combat rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned.
One Matari soldier mused, GÇ£Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesnGÇÖt seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?GÇ¥
***Funny cuz its true ;)
Q: What do you call a group of Matari people?
A: An auction.
SCR User Since release. Charge shot / Aim to the head / Listen to QQ
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DeadlyAztec11
2668
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Posted - 2013.12.10 03:16:00 -
[52] - Quote
True Adamance wrote:DeadlyAztec11 wrote:A Caldari describing a hook up.
"So I saw the target right there on the bar, she had forgotten to cover her flanks so I went in for the kill. She corroborated accordingly. I proceeded to take her back to my base so we could service each other covertly. The operation was flawless."
Gallante - We still talking about girls or...? You know that most normal people in the Empires which ever one you pick.....are just....well....normal.....
I don't know, I hear that Aztec guy is kind of a loon. Not the guy I'd want to be in a dark alley with.
Jokes aside, I know
I'm just digging into some deep stereotypes. Digging deep, real deep... Like a Matar scavenging a trash bin.
*crickets*
Okay not funny 
Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened.
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True Adamance
Scions of Athra
4709
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Posted - 2013.12.10 03:20:00 -
[53] - Quote
DeadlyAztec11 wrote:True Adamance wrote:DeadlyAztec11 wrote:A Caldari describing a hook up.
"So I saw the target right there on the bar, she had forgotten to cover her flanks so I went in for the kill. She corroborated accordingly. I proceeded to take her back to my base so we could service each other covertly. The operation was flawless."
Gallante - We still talking about girls or...? You know that most normal people in the Empires which ever one you pick.....are just....well....normal..... I don't know, I hear that Aztec guy is kind of a loon. Not the guy I'd want to be in a dark alley with. Jokes aside, I know I'm just digging into some deep stereotypes. Digging deep, real deep... Like a Matar scavenging a trash bin. *crickets* Okay not funny
BWAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA Classic.... I'm a stickler for the traditional ones.
"All things were created by the Divine, and so the glory of our faith is inherent to us all"
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Phazoid
The Unholy Legion Of DarkStar
DARKSTAR ARMY
128
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Posted - 2013.12.10 03:33:00 -
[54] - Quote
KING CHECKMATE wrote:Then:
Q:How do you stop a MINMATAR TANK!?
A:Just shoot the guy whos pushing it.
here have all my likes +100000000000
Ib'tuur jatne tuur ash'ad kyr'amur (Today is a good day for someone else to die).
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Foxhound Elite
The Rainbow Effect
576
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Posted - 2013.12.10 03:50:00 -
[55] - Quote
Standing on top of one of the towers on Line Harvest, there are four mercenaries, one representing each race. Willing to sacrifice themselves to mark the upcoming 1.7 changes, a new dawn of warfare in New Eden, these soldiers have destroyed all their clones and will not be revived upon death. Their sacrifice will be marked forever.
The Gallentean walks to the edge of the tower and clearly shouts ; "This is for the Federation, and my people!" and hurls himself off the edge to his death.
The Caldarian walks proudly to the edge of the tower and silently states : "For the state, for my people." and also steps off into oblivion.
Next up, the Minmatar soldier walks to the edge of the tower, standing bolt upright, shouts from the depths of his lungs; "This is for my people!" and throws the Amarrian off the edge.
Python pilot, troop-transport specialist and an all-round ballbag.
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True Adamance
Scions of Athra
4711
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Posted - 2013.12.10 03:56:00 -
[56] - Quote
Foxhound Elite wrote:Standing on top of one of the towers on Line Harvest, there are four mercenaries, one representing each race. Willing to sacrifice themselves to mark the upcoming 1.7 changes, a new dawn of warfare in New Eden, these soldiers have destroyed all their clones and will not be revived upon death. Their sacrifice will be marked forever.
The Gallentean walks to the edge of the tower and clearly shouts ; "This is for the Federation, and my people!" and hurls himself off the edge to his death.
The Caldarian walks proudly to the edge of the tower and silently states : "For the state, for my people." and also steps off into oblivion.
Next up, the Minmatar soldier walks to the edge of the tower, standing bolt upright, shouts from the depths of his lungs; "This is for my people!" and throws the Amarrian off the edge.
Which is essentially the joke I would make...except Id throw the Gallentean off.
"All things were created by the Divine, and so the glory of our faith is inherent to us all"
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Cat Merc
Ahrendee Mercenaries
EoN.
4583
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Posted - 2013.12.10 06:19:00 -
[57] - Quote
True Adamance wrote:Mobius Wyvern wrote:Cat Merc wrote:KING CHECKMATE wrote:Then:
Q:How do you stop a MINMATAR TANK!?
A:Just shoot the guy whos pushing it. Q:How do you stop an Amarr tank? A.Hack it and turn variable God into False. SHOTS FIRED I seriously don't get the joke Cat Merc....variable God? into whut?
Do you even code bro?
Shield regeneration bonus for Gallente Assault is about as useful as Sharpshooter for Nova Knives.
Tuna > Tacos
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Heathen Bastard
The Bastard Brigade
721
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Posted - 2013.12.10 06:43:00 -
[58] - Quote
but what if god is an int type? or possibly a double? or god might just be a highly sophisticated if-then statement. or possibly a massively nested while loop.
If you hear the words "WORTH IT!" look about, something hilarious just happened.
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Cat Merc
Ahrendee Mercenaries
EoN.
4584
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Posted - 2013.12.10 06:53:00 -
[59] - Quote
Heathen Bastard wrote:but what if god is an int type? or possibly a double? or god might just be a highly sophisticated if-then statement. or possibly a massively nested while loop.
D:
Mordin: TOO MANY VARIABLES! TOO MANY VARIABLES!
Shield regeneration bonus for Gallente Assault is about as useful as Sharpshooter for Nova Knives.
Tuna > Tacos
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Denak Kalamari
Intaki Liberation Front
Intaki Prosperity Initiative
707
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Posted - 2013.12.10 07:23:00 -
[60] - Quote
The fire joke really cracked me up, +1 for you OP
Grahisha of ILF // Writer of Thoughts of a Clone Soldier // Latest entry published 05/12/13
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