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Epicsting pro
FACTION WARFARE ARMY
315
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Posted - 2013.12.10 07:43:00 -
[61] - Quote
Two caldairens walk into a bar, the amarr ducks.
An amarren is in the check out line with a cart full. He start to put a dog bowl, dog leash, dog treats, and a shock collar. The cleck looks up and says "your mimatar giving you trouble two."
For the mother land.
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Luna Angelo
We Who Walk Alone
383
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Posted - 2013.12.10 07:49:00 -
[62] - Quote
A Gallente, Caldari and Amarr are playing golf. The Gallente says, "Let's put money on this." So they do.
After the match, the Gallente says: Let's give it all to the church.
Amarr: How will we decide?
Gallente: We'll draw a circle on the ground, throw all the money in the air and whatever lands inside it, we give to Him.
Caldari: No, let's draw a circle on the ground, throw all the money in the air, and whatever lands outside it, we give to Him.
Amarr: No. We'll throw all the money into the air and whatever God wants, He keeps.
Names of playstyles
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Roy Ventus
Foxhound Corporation
General Tso's Alliance
667
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Posted - 2013.12.10 08:02:00 -
[63] - Quote
A Gallente and a Caldari walk into a bar. Theey get drunk and get into a fight.
The Gallente falls on his feet, tired. The Caldari stands proudly with a smirk on his face.
The Gallente asks, "Damn, what kind of freestyle boxing is that?"
The Caldari responds, "Boxing? That was just dance class."
"There once was a time when there wasn't a Roy Ventus and it wasn't much of a time at all."
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Luna Angelo
We Who Walk Alone
383
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Posted - 2013.12.10 08:05:00 -
[64] - Quote
Roy Ventus wrote:A Gallente and a Caldari walk into a bar. Theey get drunk and get into a fight.
The Gallente falls on his feet, tired. The Caldari stands proudly with a smirk on his face.
The Gallente asks, "Damn, what kind of freestyle boxing is that?"
The Caldari responds, "Boxing? That was just dance class."
Wait, which side are you picking on? Th Gallente who can't fight or the Caldari who dances?
Names of playstyles
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Asirius Medaius
728
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Posted - 2013.12.10 09:43:00 -
[65] - Quote
Oswald Rehnquist wrote:In response to the FW 2.0
I thought it would be appropriate to set the record straight, I came up with a few jokes and used a few old jokes that EVE used to circulate all the time, so lets do this
Gallente Jokes
Q:How do you separate the men from the boys in the Gallente Federation?
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A:With a crowbar
Three Pirates, a Minmatar, a Caldari, and a Gallente, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out the Minmatar and stand him in front of the pole.
He points and shouts, "Electrial Short!" They all look and the Minmatar runs away. Next, they place the Caldari in front of the firing squad.
He yells "Spacial Rift!" They all hit the dust and the Caldari escapes.
Next up is the Gallente. He looks around and shouts "Fire!"
Q:How many Gallente units can fit onto a Phobos?
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---
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A:Not very many since they lack drone bays.
A Caldari man, a Gallente man and an Amarr woman are all on an Interbus shuttle. The pilot gets on the speaker and tells them "hi folks, just so you're aware, we're experiencing intermittent capacitor problems. The lights in the passenger compartment might fail briefly. Please don't be alarmed when it happens."
Sure enough a few minutes later, the lights go out. In the brief darkness, there's a smooching sound and a slap, and when the lights come back up the Gallentean is nursing a bruised jaw.
The Amarrian is thinking: "That Gallente creep must have tried to steal a kiss from me in the dark and kissed the Caldari accidentally. Serve him right!"
The Gallentean is thinking: "What the hell? I guess that Caldari must have kissed the Amarrian and she slapped me in the dark by mistake. Bastard!"
The Caldari is thinking: "This is great! I hope the lights go again so I can make that smooching sound and smack the Gallente again!"
None Gallente Jokes
I saw a brutor tribesman carrying a TV down the street, and I thought to myself "Did someone steal mine?!"
Then I remembered, mine was at home, mowing the lawn.
Q:How is minmatar gear like the start war universe?
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A:It's all connected by a universal force which has a dark side and a light..... sticky side.
I recognize most of the foundations of these jokes from other jokes I've heard in the past; to be honest, you aren't clever or funny.
As for the jokes such as the TV and the Minmatar, I hope everyone else can see the transparent racism that joke is trying to imply.
Please, Caldari, just go to sleep, it's way past your bedtime...
Signature coming soonGäó.
[Level 9 Forum Warrior]
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hold that
Krusual Covert Operators
Minmatar Republic
3
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Posted - 2013.12.10 10:08:00 -
[66] - Quote
3 mercs driving lav to beach. A caldari, gallente and a amarr. Cops pulls them over for speeding. She says: "If your penises measure up to 8 inches total i'll let you all go." So the caldari pulls his out, it was four inches. then the gallente, it was three. finally the amarr pulled out his and it was 1 and a half. Cop let's them go. Sweating, back in the lav, caldari says, "man i'm glad my dik was 4 inches." The gallente says, "I'm glad mine was 3." The amarr says, "I'm glad i was popping a boner." |
KING CHECKMATE
Scions of Athra
2964
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Posted - 2013.12.11 22:45:00 -
[67] - Quote
Luna Angelo wrote:Roy Ventus wrote:A Gallente and a Caldari walk into a bar. Theey get drunk and get into a fight.
The Gallente falls on his feet, tired. The Caldari stands proudly with a smirk on his face.
The Gallente asks, "Damn, what kind of freestyle boxing is that?"
The Caldari responds, "Boxing? That was just dance class."
Wait, which side are you picking on? Th Gallente who can't fight or the Caldari who dances?
The gallente
The was ''fighting'' and got stomped by some dance moves the Caldari was pulling off XD
SCR User Since release. Charge shot / Aim to the head / Listen to QQ
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GARRUS2 Vakarian
Mannar Focused Warfare
Gallente Federation
1
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Posted - 2013.12.13 21:19:00 -
[68] - Quote
Asirius Medaius wrote:Oswald Rehnquist wrote:In response to the FW 2.0
I thought it would be appropriate to set the record straight, I came up with a few jokes and used a few old jokes that EVE used to circulate all the time, so lets do this
Gallente Jokes
Q:How do you separate the men from the boys in the Gallente Federation?
---
---
---
A:With a crowbar
Three Pirates, a Minmatar, a Caldari, and a Gallente, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out the Minmatar and stand him in front of the pole.
He points and shouts, "Electrial Short!" They all look and the Minmatar runs away. Next, they place the Caldari in front of the firing squad.
He yells "Spacial Rift!" They all hit the dust and the Caldari escapes.
Next up is the Gallente. He looks around and shouts "Fire!"
Q:How many Gallente units can fit onto a Phobos?
---
---
---
A:Not very many since they lack drone bays.
A Caldari man, a Gallente man and an Amarr woman are all on an Interbus shuttle. The pilot gets on the speaker and tells them "hi folks, just so you're aware, we're experiencing intermittent capacitor problems. The lights in the passenger compartment might fail briefly. Please don't be alarmed when it happens."
Sure enough a few minutes later, the lights go out. In the brief darkness, there's a smooching sound and a slap, and when the lights come back up the Gallentean is nursing a bruised jaw.
The Amarrian is thinking: "That Gallente creep must have tried to steal a kiss from me in the dark and kissed the Caldari accidentally. Serve him right!"
The Gallentean is thinking: "What the hell? I guess that Caldari must have kissed the Amarrian and she slapped me in the dark by mistake. Bastard!"
The Caldari is thinking: "This is great! I hope the lights go again so I can make that smooching sound and smack the Gallente again!"
None Gallente Jokes
I saw a brutor tribesman carrying a TV down the street, and I thought to myself "Did someone steal mine?!"
Then I remembered, mine was at home, mowing the lawn.
Q:How is minmatar gear like the start war universe?
---
---
---
A:It's all connected by a universal force which has a dark side and a light..... sticky side.
I recognize most of the foundations of these jokes from other jokes I've heard in the past; to be honest, you aren't clever or funny. As for the jokes such as the TV and the Minmatar, I hope everyone else can see the transparent racism that joke is trying to imply. Please, Caldari, just go to sleep, it's way past your bedtime...
You are overreacting....Its all for fun. Chill the f*** out.
Mass Effect? anybody?
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Luna Angelo
We Who Walk Alone
409
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Posted - 2013.12.13 21:22:00 -
[69] - Quote
KING CHECKMATE wrote:Luna Angelo wrote:Roy Ventus wrote:A Gallente and a Caldari walk into a bar. Theey get drunk and get into a fight.
The Gallente falls on his feet, tired. The Caldari stands proudly with a smirk on his face.
The Gallente asks, "Damn, what kind of freestyle boxing is that?"
The Caldari responds, "Boxing? That was just dance class."
Wait, which side are you picking on? Th Gallente who can't fight or the Caldari who dances? The gallente The was ''fighting'' and got stomped by some dance moves the Caldari was pulling off XD
Just making sure. I'll +1.
On the side.... Did no one like my joke...?
Names of playstyles
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Krom Ganesh
Holdfast Syndicate
Amarr Empire
913
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Posted - 2013.12.13 21:41:00 -
[70] - Quote
Vulpes Dolosus wrote:So I'm flying around low sec when I come across a wreck. I spent 5 mins trying to salvage it until the Rifter shot back.
Best joke in the thread yet. 
Heathen Bastard wrote:but what if god is an int type? or possibly a double? or god might just be a highly sophisticated if-then statement. or possibly a massively nested while loop.
Then the int would be 0 and the double would be 0.0. From a computer's point of view, false is 0x00 (add as many 0's as needed for data type) and true is anything not 0x00.
!
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Roy Ventus
Foxhound Corporation
General Tso's Alliance
703
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Posted - 2013.12.13 22:15:00 -
[71] - Quote
Luna Angelo wrote:Roy Ventus wrote:A Gallente and a Caldari walk into a bar. Theey get drunk and get into a fight.
The Gallente falls on his feet, tired. The Caldari stands proudly with a smirk on his face.
The Gallente asks, "Damn, what kind of freestyle boxing is that?"
The Caldari responds, "Boxing? That was just dance class."
Wait, which side are you picking on? Th Gallente who can't fight or the Caldari who dances?
You could take it either way lol.
The Gallente, based on lore, are supposed to rely heavily on drones so they're not as developed in fighting as the others are or at least expereinced.
The Caldari need to strafe left and right when in close quarters combat due to their focus on distance and speed.
I originally intended it to be about the Gallente but it really does go both ways.
"There once was a time when there wasn't a Roy Ventus and it wasn't much of a time at all."
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