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Oswald Rehnquist 820	Posted - 2013.12.10 00:20:00 - [1] - Quote In response to the FW 2.0 I thought it would be appropriate to set the record straight, I came up with a few jokes and used a few old jokes that EVE used to circulate all the time, so lets do this Gallente Jokes Q:How do you separate the men from the boys in the Gallente Federation? --- --- --- A:With a crowbar Three Pirates, a Minmatar, a Caldari, and a Gallente, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out the Minmatar and stand him in front of the pole. He points and shouts, "Electrial Short!" They all look and the Minmatar runs away. Next, they place the Caldari in front of the firing squad. He yells "Spacial Rift!" They all hit the dust and the Caldari escapes. Next up is the Gallente. He looks around and shouts "Fire!" Q:How many Gallente units can fit onto a Phobos? --- --- --- A:Not very many since they lack drone bays. A Caldari man, a Gallente man and an Amarr woman are all on an Interbus shuttle. The pilot gets on the speaker and tells them "hi folks, just so you're aware, we're experiencing intermittent capacitor problems. The lights in the passenger compartment might fail briefly. Please don't be alarmed when it happens." Sure enough a few minutes later, the lights go out. In the brief darkness, there's a smooching sound and a slap, and when the lights come back up the Gallentean is nursing a bruised jaw. The Amarrian is thinking: "That Gallente creep must have tried to steal a kiss from me in the dark and kissed the Caldari accidentally. Serve him right!" The Gallentean is thinking: "What the hell? I guess that Caldari must have kissed the Amarrian and she slapped me in the dark by mistake. Bastard!" The Caldari is thinking: "This is great! I hope the lights go again so I can make that smooching sound and smack the Gallente again!" None Gallente Jokes I saw a brutor tribesman carrying a TV down the street, and I thought to myself "Did someone steal mine?!" Then I remembered, mine was at home, mowing the lawn. Q:How is minmatar gear like the start war universe? --- --- --- A:It's all connected by a universal force which has a dark side and a light..... sticky side. Below 28 dB
DUST Fiend OSG Planetary Operations Covert Intervention 8566	Posted - 2013.12.10 00:21:00 - [2] - Quote Aww, a Caldari trying to be clever. It's like watching a monkey paint with poo Win ISK / Vids / O7
Cody Sietz Unkn0wn Killers Renegade Alliance 1746	Posted - 2013.12.10 00:28:00 - [3] - Quote I laugh honestly. The fire one and the smooching sound one were pretty funny. "I do agree with you there though. shudders" -Arkena Wyrnspire
Mac Dac Wraith Shadow Guards D.E.F.I.A.N.C.E 332	Posted - 2013.12.10 00:29:00 - [4] - Quote Inb4 True "We should take care not to make intellect our god; it has, of course, strong muscles, but no personality" Albert Einste
KING CHECKMATE Scions of Athra 2896	Posted - 2013.12.10 00:32:00 - [5] - Quote Didnt know Caldaris had good sense of humor. +1 SCR User Since release. Charge shot / Aim to the head / Listen to QQ
True Adamance Scions of Athra 4679	Posted - 2013.12.10 00:39:00 - [6] - Quote I don't care just posting so Mac was right. "All things were created by the Divine, and so the glory of our faith is inherent to us all"
Mac Dac Wraith Shadow Guards D.E.F.I.A.N.C.E 333	Posted - 2013.12.10 00:40:00 - [7] - Quote Oswald Rehnquist wrote: In response to the FW 2.0 I thought it would be appropriate to set the record straight, I came up with a few jokes and used a few old jokes that EVE used to circulate all the time, so lets do this Gallente Jokes Q:How do you separate the men from the boys in the Gallente Federation? --- --- --- A:With a crowbar Three Pirates, a Minmatar, a Caldari, and a Gallente, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out the Minmatar and stand him in front of the pole. He points and shouts, "Electrial Short!" They all look and the Minmatar runs away. Next, they place the Caldari in front of the firing squad. He yells "Spacial Rift!" They all hit the dust and the Caldari escapes. Next up is the Gallente. He looks around and shouts "Fire!" Q:How many Gallente units can fit onto a Phobos? --- --- --- A:Not very many since they lack drone bays. A Caldari man, a Gallente man and an Amarr woman are all on an Interbus shuttle. The pilot gets on the speaker and tells them "hi folks, just so you're aware, we're experiencing intermittent capacitor problems. The lights in the passenger compartment might fail briefly. Please don't be alarmed when it happens." Sure enough a few minutes later, the lights go out. In the brief darkness, there's a smooching sound and a slap, and when the lights come back up the Gallentean is nursing a bruised jaw. The Amarrian is thinking: "That Gallente creep must have tried to steal a kiss from me in the dark and kissed the Caldari accidentally. Serve him right!" The Gallentean is thinking: "What the hell? I guess that Caldari must have kissed the Amarrian and she slapped me in the dark by mistake. Bastard!" The Caldari is thinking: "This is great! I hope the lights go again so I can make that smooching sound and smack the Gallente again!" None Gallente Jokes I saw a brutor tribesman carrying a TV down the street, and I thought to myself "Did someone steal mine?!" Then I remembered, mine was at home, mowing the lawn. Q:How is minmatar gear like the start war universe? --- --- --- A:It's all connected by a universal force which has a dark side and a light..... sticky side. truly funny +1 "We should take care not to make intellect our god; it has, of course, strong muscles, but no personality" Albert Einste
Maitue Mae Vortex State Empire Dark Taboo 18	Posted - 2013.12.10 00:41:00 - [8] - Quote I had this good Gallente joke, but I can't remember it now. Had something to do with FREEDOM.
Mac Dac Wraith Shadow Guards D.E.F.I.A.N.C.E 333	Posted - 2013.12.10 00:42:00 - [9] - Quote True Adamance wrote: I don't care just posting so Mac was right. "We should take care not to make intellect our god; it has, of course, strong muscles, but no personality" Albert Einste
DeadlyAztec11 2645	Posted - 2013.12.10 00:42:00 - [10] - Quote So why did the Caldari dehydrate? They forgot to tell the boy to drink after they told him to stay. Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened.

True Adamance Scions of Athra 4682	Posted - 2013.12.10 00:50:00 - [11] - Quote DeadlyAztec11 wrote: So why did the Caldari dehydrate? They forgot to tell the boy to drink after they told him to stay. That's discipline and an experience I suggest every merc go through. "All things were created by the Divine, and so the glory of our faith is inherent to us all"
Phazoid The Unholy Legion Of DarkStar DARKSTAR ARMY 121	Posted - 2013.12.10 00:54:00 - [12] - Quote Maitue Mae wrote: I had this good Gallente joke, but I can't remember it now. Had something to do with CORRUPTION. fix that one for you Ib'tuur jatne tuur ash'ad kyr'amur (Today is a good day for someone else to die).
DeadlyAztec11 2648	Posted - 2013.12.10 00:59:00 - [13] - Quote True Adamance wrote: DeadlyAztec11 wrote: So why did the Caldari dehydrate? They forgot to tell the boy to drink after they told him to stay. That's discipline and an experience I suggest every merc go through. You first. Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened.
Maitue Mae Vortex State Empire Dark Taboo 18	Posted - 2013.12.10 00:59:00 - [14] - Quote Phazoid wrote: Maitue Mae wrote: I had this good Gallente joke, but I can't remember it now. Had something to do with CORRUPTION. fix that one for you What ever makes you Happy, Goldie.
Onesimus Tarsus 698	Posted - 2013.12.10 01:03:00 - [15] - Quote Wanna hear a joke about factional warfare? ... The Caldari! Get it? Three Caldari walk into a building, I guess it was the lack of eye-holes in their masks. How many Caldari psychiatrists does it take to change a NULL cannon? One, but the NULL cannon has to want to change. Big red button that respecs your SP on demand. Protos only get points from killing protos.
True Adamance Scions of Athra 4684	Posted - 2013.12.10 01:05:00 - [16] - Quote DeadlyAztec11 wrote: True Adamance wrote: DeadlyAztec11 wrote: So why did the Caldari dehydrate? They forgot to tell the boy to drink after they told him to stay. That's discipline and an experience I suggest every merc go through. You first. I have done it, was implied in my statement. "All things were created by the Divine, and so the glory of our faith is inherent to us all"
Maitue Mae Vortex State Empire Dark Taboo 18	Posted - 2013.12.10 01:12:00 - [17] - Quote True Adamance wrote: DeadlyAztec11 wrote: True Adamance wrote: DeadlyAztec11 wrote: So why did the Caldari dehydrate? They forgot to tell the boy to drink after they told him to stay. That's discipline and an experience I suggest every merc go through. You first. I have done it, was implied in my statement. Wow, you goldies are really Hardcore. Or just take your training very seriously.
DeadlyAztec11 2649	Posted - 2013.12.10 01:20:00 - [18] - Quote Leave it to an Amarr to turn a thread about jokes into a serious discussion. Bravo. Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened.
Vulpes Dolosus SVER True Blood Public Disorder. 417	Posted - 2013.12.10 01:22:00 - [19] - Quote So I'm flying around low sec when I come across a wreck. I spent 5 mins trying to salvage it until the Rifter shot back. Dropship Specialist: AKA Clinically Insane Kills- Incubus: 3; Pythons: 0; Logistics: 0; Militia: 19; Tanks: 4
True Adamance Scions of Athra 4685	Posted - 2013.12.10 01:30:00 - [20] - Quote DeadlyAztec11 wrote: Leave it to an Amarr to turn a thread about jokes into a serious discussion. Bravo. Jokes are fine, Gallente are funny. "All things were created by the Divine, and so the glory of our faith is inherent to us all"

KING CHECKMATE Scions of Athra 2904	Posted - 2013.12.10 01:35:00 - [21] - Quote DeadlyAztec11 wrote: Leave it to an Amarr to turn a thread about jokes into a serious discussion. . Two Gallente Scouts are out in the battlefield when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls his Squad leader. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do? The enemy will be here any moment now!" The Squad leader says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" ........ SCR User Since release. Charge shot / Aim to the head / Listen to QQ
KING CHECKMATE Scions of Athra 2904	Posted - 2013.12.10 01:39:00 - [22] - Quote Since it started to rain acid, my Matari Slave can't stop looking through the window. If it will start pouring down, I'm afraid I will have to let him inside....... SCR User Since release. Charge shot / Aim to the head / Listen to QQ
KING CHECKMATE Scions of Athra 2904	Posted - 2013.12.10 01:41:00 - [23] - Quote How many Gallente scouts does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. SCR User Since release. Charge shot / Aim to the head / Listen to QQ
DUST Fiend OSG Planetary Operations Covert Intervention 8582	Posted - 2013.12.10 01:43:00 - [24] - Quote There's a reason the Amarr like gold so much, and it has a whole lot to do with showers Win ISK / Vids / O7
DeadlyAztec11 2650	Posted - 2013.12.10 01:46:00 - [25] - Quote A man has a stroke on the streets, an Amarr man calls "Be at peace I am a professional.". He prays. "That's all I got." Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened.
Eris Ernaga State Patriots 880	Posted - 2013.12.10 01:48:00 - [26] - Quote This entertained me especially Dark fiends comment about you painting with poo. *Closed Beta Vet* State Patriots public - State Patriots - join for Caldari and Amarr factional warfare.
Epicsting pro FACTION WARFARE ARMY 314	Posted - 2013.12.10 01:49:00 - [27] - Quote My gallente asked my to help fix his ship. I threw him some duct tape. For the mother land.
Oswald Rehnquist 826	Posted - 2013.12.10 01:50:00 - [28] - Quote Eris Ernaga wrote: This entertained me especially Dark fiends comment about you painting with poo. But the real question is who was the canvas? Below 28 dB
DeadlyAztec11 2652	Posted - 2013.12.10 01:53:00 - [29] - Quote Caldari merc (__) : What are you looking at four eyes? Gallante merc (:_:) : Not much no face. Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened.
Vulpes Dolosus SVER True Blood Public Disorder. 422	Posted - 2013.12.10 01:55:00 - [30] - Quote Amarr pray for Power Caldari pray for Strength Gallente pray for Peace MInmatar pray their suits don't fall apart. Why are the Minmatar the fastest race? The rest got caught. Dropship Specialist: AKA Clinically Insane Kills- Incubus: 3; Pythons: 0; Logistics: 0; Militia: 19; Tanks: 4

Humble Seeker Scions of Athra 103	Posted - 2013.12.10 01:56:00 - [31] - Quote DeadlyAztec11 wrote: Caldari merc (__) : What are you looking at four eyes? Gallante merc (:_:) : Not much no face. Minmatar merc: "Surround yourself with the faithful, Stand together, for there is no strength like it under the heavens."
Cat Merc Ahrendee Mercenaries EoN. 4581	Posted - 2013.12.10 02:01:00 - [32] - Quote How many Caldari mercs does it take to change a lightbulb? Infinite, they can't tell that the lights are out. Shield regeneration bonus for Gallente Assault is about as useful as Sharpshooter for Nova Knives. Tuna > Tacos
Patrick57 Fatal Absolution 1952	Posted - 2013.12.10 02:05:00 - [33] - Quote Oswald Rehnquist wrote: I saw a brutor tribesman carrying a TV down the street, and I thought to myself "Did someone steal mine?!" Then I remembered, mine was at home, mowing the lawn. Thank goodness this is about a video game, otherwise I would've felt bad about laughing. When I'm depressed, I cut myself......A BIG SLICE OF CHOCOLATE CAKE!
Phazoid The Unholy Legion Of DarkStar DARKSTAR ARMY 125	Posted - 2013.12.10 02:07:00 - [34] - Quote time for dirty joke, a gallente a minmatar and an amarr encountered a canibalistic tribe on a jungle, they cannibals say, well you have to find 10 fruits of the same kind IF you dont want to be killed and eaten, after 1 hour comes the minmatar with 10 melons, the tribal leader says well now you have to put put those melons up your a-s if you scream or make any noise we will kill and eat you, the minmatar does as told but screams on the second melon, so they killed him, 30 mins later comes the amarr with 10 cherries, the tribal leader says tells the amarr the same he told the minmatar, so the amarr starts, 1 cherrie, 2, 5, 8 and when he was 1 cherry short he starts laughing, so they killed him, so back at the MCC the minmatar asks him why did he laughed?, the amarr tells him, "well slave i turned around and saw the gallente coming with 10 pineapples". Ib'tuur jatne tuur ash'ad kyr'amur (Today is a good day for someone else to die).
DUST Fiend OSG Planetary Operations Covert Intervention 8588	Posted - 2013.12.10 02:12:00 - [35] - Quote Phazoid wrote: time for dirty joke, a gallente a minmatar and an amarr encountered a canibalistic tribe on a jungle, they cannibals say, well you have to find 10 fruits of the same kind IF you dont want to be killed and eaten, after 1 hour comes the minmatar with 10 melons, the tribal leader says well now you have to put put those melons up your a-s if you scream or make any noise we will kill and eat you, the minmatar does as told but screams on the second melon, so they killed him, 30 mins later comes the amarr with 10 cherries, the tribal leader says tells the amarr the same he told the minmatar, so the amarr starts, 1 cherrie, 2, 5, 8 and when he was 1 cherry short he starts laughing, so they killed him, so back at the MCC the minmatar asks him why did he laughed?, the amarr tells him, "well slave i turned around and saw the gallente coming with 10 pineapples". Jokes on you. Gallente have evolved beyond the need for buttholes Win ISK / Vids / O7
Mobius Wyvern Guardian Solutions DARKSTAR ARMY 4032	Posted - 2013.12.10 02:17:00 - [36] - Quote Why do we not have more threads for this? I almost wet myself laughing. Amidst the blue skies A link from past to future The sheltering wings of the protector
Dagger-Two Villore Joint Task Force Villore Accords 163	Posted - 2013.12.10 02:18:00 - [37] - Quote Oswald Rehnquist wrote: Q:How do you separate the men from the boys in the Amarr Empire? --- --- --- A:With a crowbar Changed that for you. coughChamberlain Karsothcough
Humble Seeker Scions of Athra 105	Posted - 2013.12.10 02:36:00 - [38] - Quote Dagger-Two wrote: Oswald Rehnquist wrote: Q:How do you separate the men from the boys in the Amarr Empire? --- --- --- A:With a crowbar Changed that for you. coughChamberlain Karsothcough Man I hated that guy. Grimy bastard of a person. "Surround yourself with the faithful, Stand together, for there is no strength like it under the heavens."
KING CHECKMATE Scions of Athra 2917	Posted - 2013.12.10 02:38:00 - [39] - Quote Then: Q:How do you stop a MINMATAR TANK!? A:Just shoot the guy whos pushing it. SCR User Since release. Charge shot / Aim to the head / Listen to QQ
Cat Merc Ahrendee Mercenaries EoN. 4583	Posted - 2013.12.10 02:46:00 - [40] - Quote KING CHECKMATE wrote: Then: Q:How do you stop a MINMATAR TANK!? A:Just shoot the guy whos pushing it. How do you stop an Amarr tank? Hack it and turn variable God into False. Shield regeneration bonus for Gallente Assault is about as useful as Sharpshooter for Nova Knives. Tuna > Tacos

DUST Fiend OSG Planetary Operations Covert Intervention 8593	Posted - 2013.12.10 02:47:00 - [41] - Quote Cat Merc wrote: KING CHECKMATE wrote: Then: Q:How do you stop a MINMATAR TANK!? A:Just shoot the guy whos pushing it. Q:How do you stop an Amarr tank? A.Hack it and turn variable God into False. Actually, you just throw a solid gold phallus anywhere near the tank, then shoot the pilot as he desperately scrambles out to grab it. Win ISK / Vids / O7
Sgt Kirk SyNergy Gaming EoN. 3415	Posted - 2013.12.10 02:51:00 - [42] - Quote DUST Fiend wrote: Aww, a Caldari trying to be clever. It's like watching a monkey paint with poo looooool. +1 good sir
DeadlyAztec11 2664	Posted - 2013.12.10 02:54:00 - [43] - Quote What line do you use on Matar girls? "Yo girl I like that junk in yo trunk." Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened.
DUST Fiend OSG Planetary Operations Covert Intervention 8593	Posted - 2013.12.10 02:55:00 - [44] - Quote DeadlyAztec11 wrote: What line do you use on Matar girls? "Yo girl I like that junk in yo trunk." Priceless. Seriously, you can't sell that ****, why else do you think she's a slave? Win ISK / Vids / O7
Mobius Wyvern Guardian Solutions DARKSTAR ARMY 4034	Posted - 2013.12.10 02:58:00 - [45] - Quote Cat Merc wrote: KING CHECKMATE wrote: Then: Q:How do you stop a MINMATAR TANK!? A:Just shoot the guy whos pushing it. Q:How do you stop an Amarr tank? A.Hack it and turn variable God into False. SHOTS FIRED Amidst the blue skies A link from past to future The sheltering wings of the protector
True Adamance Scions of Athra 4707	Posted - 2013.12.10 02:59:00 - [46] - Quote DUST Fiend wrote: Cat Merc wrote: KING CHECKMATE wrote: Then: Q:How do you stop a MINMATAR TANK!? A:Just shoot the guy whos pushing it. Q:How do you stop an Amarr tank? A.Hack it and turn variable God into False. Actually, you just throw a solid gold phallus anywhere near the tank, then shoot the pilot as he desperately scrambles out to grab it. Hell think of how much ISK that golden Phallus would net me though....but I'd prolly make it back with Gold in hand and drive off. "All things were created by the Divine, and so the glory of our faith is inherent to us all"
True Adamance Scions of Athra 4707	Posted - 2013.12.10 03:01:00 - [47] - Quote Mobius Wyvern wrote: Cat Merc wrote: KING CHECKMATE wrote: Then: Q:How do you stop a MINMATAR TANK!? A:Just shoot the guy whos pushing it. Q:How do you stop an Amarr tank? A.Hack it and turn variable God into False. SHOTS FIRED I seriously don't get the joke Cat Merc....variable God? into whut? "All things were created by the Divine, and so the glory of our faith is inherent to us all"
Humble Seeker Scions of Athra 108	Posted - 2013.12.10 03:04:00 - [48] - Quote True Adamance wrote: Mobius Wyvern wrote: Cat Merc wrote: KING CHECKMATE wrote: Then: Q:How do you stop a MINMATAR TANK!? A:Just shoot the guy whos pushing it. Q:How do you stop an Amarr tank? A.Hack it and turn variable God into False. SHOTS FIRED I seriously don't get the joke Cat Merc....variable God? into whut? He thinks he's being edgy. Don't get too close. "Surround yourself with the faithful, Stand together, for there is no strength like it under the heavens."
DeadlyAztec11 2666	Posted - 2013.12.10 03:08:00 - [49] - Quote A Caldari describing a hook up. "So I saw the target right there on the bar, she had forgotten to cover her flanks so I went in for the kill. She corroborated accordingly. I proceeded to take her back to me base so we could service each other covertly. The operation was flawless." Gallante - We still talking about girls or...? Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened.
True Adamance Scions of Athra 4709	Posted - 2013.12.10 03:10:00 - [50] - Quote DeadlyAztec11 wrote: A Caldari describing a hook up. "So I saw the target right there on the bar, she had forgotten to cover her flanks so I went in for the kill. She corroborated accordingly. I proceeded to take her back to my base so we could service each other covertly. The operation was flawless." Gallante - We still talking about girls or...? You know that most normal people in the Empires which ever one you pick.....are just....well....normal..... "All things were created by the Divine, and so the glory of our faith is inherent to us all"

KING CHECKMATE Scions of Athra 2924	Posted - 2013.12.10 03:13:00 - [51] - Quote At one Minmatar Army base, the annual trip to the Combat rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One Matari soldier mused, GÇ£Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesnGÇÖt seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?GÇ¥ *Funny cuz its true ;) Q: What do you call a group of Matari people? A: An auction. SCR User Since release.** Charge shot / Aim to the head / Listen to QQ
DeadlyAztec11 2668	Posted - 2013.12.10 03:16:00 - [52] - Quote True Adamance wrote: DeadlyAztec11 wrote: A Caldari describing a hook up. "So I saw the target right there on the bar, she had forgotten to cover her flanks so I went in for the kill. She corroborated accordingly. I proceeded to take her back to my base so we could service each other covertly. The operation was flawless." Gallante - We still talking about girls or...? You know that most normal people in the Empires which ever one you pick.....are just....well....normal..... I don't know, I hear that Aztec guy is kind of a loon. Not the guy I'd want to be in a dark alley with. Jokes aside, I know I'm just digging into some deep stereotypes. Digging deep, real deep... Like a Matar scavenging a trash bin. crickets Okay not funny Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened.
True Adamance Scions of Athra 4709	Posted - 2013.12.10 03:20:00 - [53] - Quote DeadlyAztec11 wrote: True Adamance wrote: DeadlyAztec11 wrote: A Caldari describing a hook up. "So I saw the target right there on the bar, she had forgotten to cover her flanks so I went in for the kill. She corroborated accordingly. I proceeded to take her back to my base so we could service each other covertly. The operation was flawless." Gallante - We still talking about girls or...? You know that most normal people in the Empires which ever one you pick.....are just....well....normal..... I don't know, I hear that Aztec guy is kind of a loon. Not the guy I'd want to be in a dark alley with. Jokes aside, I know I'm just digging into some deep stereotypes. Digging deep, real deep... Like a Matar scavenging a trash bin. crickets Okay not funny BWAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA Classic.... I'm a stickler for the traditional ones. "All things were created by the Divine, and so the glory of our faith is inherent to us all"
Phazoid The Unholy Legion Of DarkStar DARKSTAR ARMY 128	Posted - 2013.12.10 03:33:00 - [54] - Quote KING CHECKMATE wrote: Then: Q:How do you stop a MINMATAR TANK!? A:Just shoot the guy whos pushing it. here have all my likes +100000000000 Ib'tuur jatne tuur ash'ad kyr'amur (Today is a good day for someone else to die).
Foxhound Elite The Rainbow Effect 576	Posted - 2013.12.10 03:50:00 - [55] - Quote Standing on top of one of the towers on Line Harvest, there are four mercenaries, one representing each race. Willing to sacrifice themselves to mark the upcoming 1.7 changes, a new dawn of warfare in New Eden, these soldiers have destroyed all their clones and will not be revived upon death. Their sacrifice will be marked forever. The Gallentean walks to the edge of the tower and clearly shouts ; "This is for the Federation, and my people!" and hurls himself off the edge to his death. The Caldarian walks proudly to the edge of the tower and silently states : "For the state, for my people." and also steps off into oblivion. Next up, the Minmatar soldier walks to the edge of the tower, standing bolt upright, shouts from the depths of his lungs; "This is for my people!" and throws the Amarrian off the edge. Python pilot, troop-transport specialist and an all-round ballbag.
True Adamance Scions of Athra 4711	Posted - 2013.12.10 03:56:00 - [56] - Quote Foxhound Elite wrote: Standing on top of one of the towers on Line Harvest, there are four mercenaries, one representing each race. Willing to sacrifice themselves to mark the upcoming 1.7 changes, a new dawn of warfare in New Eden, these soldiers have destroyed all their clones and will not be revived upon death. Their sacrifice will be marked forever. The Gallentean walks to the edge of the tower and clearly shouts ; "This is for the Federation, and my people!" and hurls himself off the edge to his death. The Caldarian walks proudly to the edge of the tower and silently states : "For the state, for my people." and also steps off into oblivion. Next up, the Minmatar soldier walks to the edge of the tower, standing bolt upright, shouts from the depths of his lungs; "This is for my people!" and throws the Amarrian off the edge. Which is essentially the joke I would make...except Id throw the Gallentean off. "All things were created by the Divine, and so the glory of our faith is inherent to us all"
Cat Merc Ahrendee Mercenaries EoN. 4583	Posted - 2013.12.10 06:19:00 - [57] - Quote True Adamance wrote: Mobius Wyvern wrote: Cat Merc wrote: KING CHECKMATE wrote: Then: Q:How do you stop a MINMATAR TANK!? A:Just shoot the guy whos pushing it. Q:How do you stop an Amarr tank? A.Hack it and turn variable God into False. SHOTS FIRED I seriously don't get the joke Cat Merc....variable God? into whut? Do you even code bro? Shield regeneration bonus for Gallente Assault is about as useful as Sharpshooter for Nova Knives. Tuna > Tacos
Heathen Bastard The Bastard Brigade 721	Posted - 2013.12.10 06:43:00 - [58] - Quote but what if god is an int type? or possibly a double? or god might just be a highly sophisticated if-then statement. or possibly a massively nested while loop. If you hear the words "WORTH IT!" look about, something hilarious just happened.
Cat Merc Ahrendee Mercenaries EoN. 4584	Posted - 2013.12.10 06:53:00 - [59] - Quote Heathen Bastard wrote: but what if god is an int type? or possibly a double? or god might just be a highly sophisticated if-then statement. or possibly a massively nested while loop. D: Mordin: TOO MANY VARIABLES! TOO MANY VARIABLES! Shield regeneration bonus for Gallente Assault is about as useful as Sharpshooter for Nova Knives. Tuna > Tacos
Denak Kalamari Intaki Liberation Front Intaki Prosperity Initiative 707	Posted - 2013.12.10 07:23:00 - [60] - Quote The fire joke really cracked me up, +1 for you OP Grahisha of ILF // Writer of Thoughts of a Clone Soldier // Latest entry published 05/12/13

Epicsting pro FACTION WARFARE ARMY 315	Posted - 2013.12.10 07:43:00 - [61] - Quote Two caldairens walk into a bar, the amarr ducks. An amarren is in the check out line with a cart full. He start to put a dog bowl, dog leash, dog treats, and a shock collar. The cleck looks up and says "your mimatar giving you trouble two." For the mother land.
Luna Angelo We Who Walk Alone 383	Posted - 2013.12.10 07:49:00 - [62] - Quote A Gallente, Caldari and Amarr are playing golf. The Gallente says, "Let's put money on this." So they do. After the match, the Gallente says: Let's give it all to the church. Amarr: How will we decide? Gallente: We'll draw a circle on the ground, throw all the money in the air and whatever lands inside it, we give to Him. Caldari: No, let's draw a circle on the ground, throw all the money in the air, and whatever lands outside it, we give to Him. Amarr: No. We'll throw all the money into the air and whatever God wants, He keeps. Names of playstyles
Roy Ventus Foxhound Corporation General Tso's Alliance 667	Posted - 2013.12.10 08:02:00 - [63] - Quote A Gallente and a Caldari walk into a bar. Theey get drunk and get into a fight. The Gallente falls on his feet, tired. The Caldari stands proudly with a smirk on his face. The Gallente asks, "Damn, what kind of freestyle boxing is that?" The Caldari responds, "Boxing? That was just dance class." "There once was a time when there wasn't a Roy Ventus and it wasn't much of a time at all." Roy Ventus
Luna Angelo We Who Walk Alone 383	Posted - 2013.12.10 08:05:00 - [64] - Quote Roy Ventus wrote: A Gallente and a Caldari walk into a bar. Theey get drunk and get into a fight. The Gallente falls on his feet, tired. The Caldari stands proudly with a smirk on his face. The Gallente asks, "Damn, what kind of freestyle boxing is that?" The Caldari responds, "Boxing? That was just dance class." Wait, which side are you picking on? Th Gallente who can't fight or the Caldari who dances? Names of playstyles
Asirius Medaius 728	Posted - 2013.12.10 09:43:00 - [65] - Quote Oswald Rehnquist wrote: In response to the FW 2.0 I thought it would be appropriate to set the record straight, I came up with a few jokes and used a few old jokes that EVE used to circulate all the time, so lets do this Gallente Jokes Q:How do you separate the men from the boys in the Gallente Federation? --- --- --- A:With a crowbar Three Pirates, a Minmatar, a Caldari, and a Gallente, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out the Minmatar and stand him in front of the pole. He points and shouts, "Electrial Short!" They all look and the Minmatar runs away. Next, they place the Caldari in front of the firing squad. He yells "Spacial Rift!" They all hit the dust and the Caldari escapes. Next up is the Gallente. He looks around and shouts "Fire!" Q:How many Gallente units can fit onto a Phobos? --- --- --- A:Not very many since they lack drone bays. A Caldari man, a Gallente man and an Amarr woman are all on an Interbus shuttle. The pilot gets on the speaker and tells them "hi folks, just so you're aware, we're experiencing intermittent capacitor problems. The lights in the passenger compartment might fail briefly. Please don't be alarmed when it happens." Sure enough a few minutes later, the lights go out. In the brief darkness, there's a smooching sound and a slap, and when the lights come back up the Gallentean is nursing a bruised jaw. The Amarrian is thinking: "That Gallente creep must have tried to steal a kiss from me in the dark and kissed the Caldari accidentally. Serve him right!" The Gallentean is thinking: "What the hell? I guess that Caldari must have kissed the Amarrian and she slapped me in the dark by mistake. Bastard!" The Caldari is thinking: "This is great! I hope the lights go again so I can make that smooching sound and smack the Gallente again!" None Gallente Jokes I saw a brutor tribesman carrying a TV down the street, and I thought to myself "Did someone steal mine?!" Then I remembered, mine was at home, mowing the lawn. Q:How is minmatar gear like the start war universe? --- --- --- A:It's all connected by a universal force which has a dark side and a light..... sticky side. I recognize most of the foundations of these jokes from other jokes I've heard in the past; to be honest, you aren't clever or funny. As for the jokes such as the TV and the Minmatar, I hope everyone else can see the transparent racism that joke is trying to imply. Please, Caldari, just go to sleep, it's way past your bedtime... Signature coming soonGäó. [Level 9 Forum Warrior]
hold that Krusual Covert Operators Minmatar Republic 3	Posted - 2013.12.10 10:08:00 - [66] - Quote 3 mercs driving lav to beach. A caldari, gallente and a amarr. Cops pulls them over for speeding. She says: "If your penises measure up to 8 inches total i'll let you all go." So the caldari pulls his out, it was four inches. then the gallente, it was three. finally the amarr pulled out his and it was 1 and a half. Cop let's them go. Sweating, back in the lav, caldari says, "man i'm glad my dik was 4 inches." The gallente says, "I'm glad mine was 3." The amarr says, "I'm glad i was popping a boner."
KING CHECKMATE Scions of Athra 2964	Posted - 2013.12.11 22:45:00 - [67] - Quote Luna Angelo wrote: Roy Ventus wrote: A Gallente and a Caldari walk into a bar. Theey get drunk and get into a fight. The Gallente falls on his feet, tired. The Caldari stands proudly with a smirk on his face. The Gallente asks, "Damn, what kind of freestyle boxing is that?" The Caldari responds, "Boxing? That was just dance class." Wait, which side are you picking on? Th Gallente who can't fight or the Caldari who dances? The gallente The was ''fighting'' and got stomped by some dance moves the Caldari was pulling off XD SCR User Since release. Charge shot / Aim to the head / Listen to QQ
GARRUS2 Vakarian Mannar Focused Warfare Gallente Federation 1	Posted - 2013.12.13 21:19:00 - [68] - Quote Asirius Medaius wrote: Oswald Rehnquist wrote: In response to the FW 2.0 I thought it would be appropriate to set the record straight, I came up with a few jokes and used a few old jokes that EVE used to circulate all the time, so lets do this Gallente Jokes Q:How do you separate the men from the boys in the Gallente Federation? --- --- --- A:With a crowbar Three Pirates, a Minmatar, a Caldari, and a Gallente, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out the Minmatar and stand him in front of the pole. He points and shouts, "Electrial Short!" They all look and the Minmatar runs away. Next, they place the Caldari in front of the firing squad. He yells "Spacial Rift!" They all hit the dust and the Caldari escapes. Next up is the Gallente. He looks around and shouts "Fire!" Q:How many Gallente units can fit onto a Phobos? --- --- --- A:Not very many since they lack drone bays. A Caldari man, a Gallente man and an Amarr woman are all on an Interbus shuttle. The pilot gets on the speaker and tells them "hi folks, just so you're aware, we're experiencing intermittent capacitor problems. The lights in the passenger compartment might fail briefly. Please don't be alarmed when it happens." Sure enough a few minutes later, the lights go out. In the brief darkness, there's a smooching sound and a slap, and when the lights come back up the Gallentean is nursing a bruised jaw. The Amarrian is thinking: "That Gallente creep must have tried to steal a kiss from me in the dark and kissed the Caldari accidentally. Serve him right!" The Gallentean is thinking: "What the hell? I guess that Caldari must have kissed the Amarrian and she slapped me in the dark by mistake. Bastard!" The Caldari is thinking: "This is great! I hope the lights go again so I can make that smooching sound and smack the Gallente again!" None Gallente Jokes I saw a brutor tribesman carrying a TV down the street, and I thought to myself "Did someone steal mine?!" Then I remembered, mine was at home, mowing the lawn. Q:How is minmatar gear like the start war universe? --- --- --- A:It's all connected by a universal force which has a dark side and a light..... sticky side. I recognize most of the foundations of these jokes from other jokes I've heard in the past; to be honest, you aren't clever or funny. As for the jokes such as the TV and the Minmatar, I hope everyone else can see the transparent racism that joke is trying to imply. Please, Caldari, just go to sleep, it's way past your bedtime... You are overreacting....Its all for fun. Chill the f*** out. Mass Effect? anybody?
Luna Angelo We Who Walk Alone 409	Posted - 2013.12.13 21:22:00 - [69] - Quote KING CHECKMATE wrote: Luna Angelo wrote: Roy Ventus wrote: A Gallente and a Caldari walk into a bar. Theey get drunk and get into a fight. The Gallente falls on his feet, tired. The Caldari stands proudly with a smirk on his face. The Gallente asks, "Damn, what kind of freestyle boxing is that?" The Caldari responds, "Boxing? That was just dance class." Wait, which side are you picking on? Th Gallente who can't fight or the Caldari who dances? The gallente The was ''fighting'' and got stomped by some dance moves the Caldari was pulling off XD Just making sure. I'll +1. On the side.... Did no one like my joke...? Names of playstyles
Krom Ganesh Holdfast Syndicate Amarr Empire 913	Posted - 2013.12.13 21:41:00 - [70] - Quote Vulpes Dolosus wrote: So I'm flying around low sec when I come across a wreck. I spent 5 mins trying to salvage it until the Rifter shot back. Best joke in the thread yet. Heathen Bastard wrote: but what if god is an int type? or possibly a double? or god might just be a highly sophisticated if-then statement. or possibly a massively nested while loop. Then the int would be 0 and the double would be 0.0. From a computer's point of view, false is 0x00 (add as many 0's as needed for data type) and true is anything not 0x00. !

Roy Ventus Foxhound Corporation General Tso's Alliance 703	Posted - 2013.12.13 22:15:00 - [71] - Quote Luna Angelo wrote: Roy Ventus wrote: A Gallente and a Caldari walk into a bar. Theey get drunk and get into a fight. The Gallente falls on his feet, tired. The Caldari stands proudly with a smirk on his face. The Gallente asks, "Damn, what kind of freestyle boxing is that?" The Caldari responds, "Boxing? That was just dance class." Wait, which side are you picking on? Th Gallente who can't fight or the Caldari who dances? You could take it either way lol. The Gallente, based on lore, are supposed to rely heavily on drones so they're not as developed in fighting as the others are or at least expereinced. The Caldari need to strafe left and right when in close quarters combat due to their focus on distance and speed. I originally intended it to be about the Gallente but it really does go both ways. "There once was a time when there wasn't a Roy Ventus and it wasn't much of a time at all." Roy Ventus


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