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Longshot Ravenwood
Algintal Core Gallente Federation
680
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Posted - 2012.07.13 20:17:00 -
[1] - Quote
Real Men of Genius (real men of genius) Today we salute you, Mr. LAV Highjacker (Mr. LAV Highjacker). You liked his ride. So you walked up to it and shot him off of the back of it. While most clones have to call for their own ride, you proudly call out "Finder's Keepers" as you stand above the corpse of your victim, then go on the joyride to end all joyrides, looking for as many speed bumps as possible. (Drive like a rental?) No way! Drive it like you stole it. (Cause you kind of did.) So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, highjacker on the road of life, because the way you say "Vroom Vroom" makes us say "Yes, Yes." (Yeah yeah yeah.) |
Longshot Ravenwood
Algintal Core Gallente Federation
680
|
Posted - 2012.07.14 03:04:00 -
[2] - Quote
Real Men of Genius (real men of genius) Today we salute you, Mr. Humorless Forum Troll (Mr. Hurmorless Forum Troll). You didn't get the joke gently mocking gameplay ideas you don't agree with. (Oh no you didn't).. So you stepped up and ruined a perfect piece of satire (it was perfect). While most Trolls peek out from under their bridges to lure in their prey, you dive willfully other bridges and challenge the Troll who was already there (I don't think you're winning). So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, because even though your sense of humor is lacking (oh is it lacking) your bridge is in the right place. |
Longshot Ravenwood
Algintal Core Gallente Federation
680
|
Posted - 2012.07.15 01:01:00 -
[3] - Quote
Real Men of Genius (real men of genius) Today we salute you, Mr. Fearless Tactical Sniper (Mr. Fearless Tactical Sniper). That guy's running straight at you with a AR (So many bullets).. So you smiled and said thank you as you lined up a perfect shot with your Sniper Rifle or Forge Gun (Oh oh oh.) as you drop an Uplink and a Nanohive (My spot you can't have it). While other snipers may hide out of harms way, you punge headfirst into the teeth of battle (Who keeps shooting at me?). So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, purveyor of painless oblivion, and then crack open another helmet (Was that another head shot?) because while other Snipers need to whine about aiming from the rooftops, you need a beer to wash down the smooth, smooth taste of victory (Oo oo oo). |
Longshot Ravenwood
Algintal Core Gallente Federation
680
|
Posted - 2012.07.15 13:19:00 -
[4] - Quote
Real Men of Genius (real men of genius) Today we salute you, Mr. Shotgun Sniper (Mr. Shotgun Sniper). As your team moves off in a unit formation you grab your shotgun or massdriver and head in a completely different direction (does he even know where he's going?) Who cares if you have to jump over the last 7 steps of this mountainside and run through 10 seconds of out of bounds territory (Why can't I run faster?). As you clear the outskirt of the battlefields you see your objective in front of you, lining up his shots at your allies (Oh no you didn't). While snipers may hide out of harms way, you beat them to it, then calmly walk up behind them before performing an flawless execution that would make a Colombian drug lord shed a tear (So when did you get here?). So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, platformer of the shooter arena (what the hell is that dot in the corner?) because every time a Snipers finds one of your allies, you find him (Now he's gonna get you) and that makes all the difference. |
Longshot Ravenwood
Algintal Core Gallente Federation
680
|
Posted - 2012.07.16 22:03:00 -
[5] - Quote
(Inspired by XKCD - to the tune of Modern Major General, or just hum "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious".)
As you drop into the match you're precisely where you aught to be, And that's why you're ****ing squished when some jerk calls in his HAV. You've got another 15 seconds left for you to think on it, Until you're squished again because he isn't moving it.
Snipers on the rooftops are precisely where they aught to be, And as I'm sneaking up on them they haven't any thought of me. You might think your tanks armor makes you the ****, Until you get out to hack and your buddy leaves with it.
So there's a camper on that tower shooting at you with a dropship? Then fly up there with your own and you can ****ing deal with it. I swear I didn't realize that the thought was so unbearable, You aught to go try EVE - all these noobs are terrible.
I know mouse support is half of why you threw your fit, The other half was losing your edge against those who needed it. But the rest of us don't really care about it anyway, Because we know that strategy's always there to save the day.
They say that hit detection's on its way to being fixed, But that won't stop you from going on and being pissed. I swear I didn't realize that the thought was so unbearable, Why don't you go play COD - all these noobs are terrible.
You call out unfair when a Heavy shoots you with an AR, Then you complain when I go to run you over with my car. When we've conquered half the map you cry because you just can win, But really it's your own team that's the one who does you in.
Why anyone would use an SMG may be a mystery, Unless their only other choice were something like an HMG. While I'm holed up taking fire from your bloody sargis tank, I know when these Swarms find their mark it isn't me your friends will thank.
The push for balance down the road is where our muscle's being flexed, You don't accept that it's a beta when you ***** "this isn't fixed". I swear I didn't realize that the thought was so unbearable, Why don't you go play MAG - all these noobs are terrible. |
Longshot Ravenwood
Algintal Core Gallente Federation
680
|
Posted - 2012.07.18 18:58:00 -
[6] - Quote
ELDER7 wrote:We need one about the pink drop suit I keep reading about .lol It's not pink, it's lightish red. |
Longshot Ravenwood
Algintal Core Gallente Federation
680
|
Posted - 2012.07.30 03:24:00 -
[7] - Quote
Today we salute you, Mr. It's Just A Game Lets Have Fun (Wow that's a a mouthful!). It's halfway into the match at two and a half minutes. How do you know it's halfway? Because we haven't hacked even one of the defender's objectives and the enemy's called in more vehicles than they can pilot while your teammates are taking them out from the towers (boom, was that a sargis?). Do you open up your mike and moan about how they aren't helping? No way! There are tanks EVERYWHERE and they keep exploding! (wait - was that a dropship?) So crack open an ice cold bud light, because **** it. If we're gonna lose. They're gonna lose a few dozen tanks before we're done.
(This one goes out to the teammates who were camping the towers with me yesterday. There was no chance we were winning, but it was a blast taking out all of those dropships, tanks & structures) |
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