IT SUCKS

Here is the infallible list of psychological traits your weapon choice reveals about you. Combine your choice of Light/Heavy Weapon with your choice of Sidearm to find your overall profile, you repulsive cretin.



Light Weapons:


Assault Rifle:

You were unloved as a child, which is why you crave familiarity. This is why you chose to use the 'Assault Rifle', the only name of a weapon you recognise. You have abandonment issues and fear change, which is why you stay in the same corp for years on end..........


Rail Rifle:

You are a bland, uninteresting person with a low, though not sub-100, IQ.


Assault Rail Rifle:

As a mindless FOTM chaser, you have a 0.5 second attention span and a sub-100 IQ. Is incapable of putting together a full, grammatically correct sentence. Probably plays Dom where he can bullet-hose down narrow corridors with magnetic hipfire.


Scrambler Rifle:

All round cool guy, intelligent enough to know how to manage heat buildup and know when to tactically use charge shots.


Assault Scrambler RIfle:

Slightly more intelligent than an Assault Rail Rifle user because he knows the ASCR has the highest DPS of all the Light Weapons. Still a FOTM chaser though and lacks the mental capability to fully utilise the SCR. He is fiercely driven by results, meaning he is more likely to hold high positions within big companies.


Mass Driver:

The lowest of the low, the MD user exclusively plays Dom and Ambush and uses the MD to steal kills from around corners where his teammates do most of the work then die with only a +25. Describes himself as an 'MLG troller', he revels in schadenfreude. Feel pity for him, for he has a troubled home life and no one loves him.


Sniper Rifle:

You've never seen this guy write a single message in chat or on the forums. He is probably an AI.........

Combat Rifle:

Congratulations, you are the most intelligent weapon user. You are aware of the distinct advantages the Combat Rifle has in most situations and you employ this knowledge into your playstyle by manipulating enemy movements to suit you. However, you often find yourself carrying your team against the users of all the other weapons.........
..
Heavy Weapons:


Forge Gun:

In mind, body, and spirit, you are a potato. You're basically Lenny from Of Mice and Men.


Heavy Machine Gun:

You are not very dexterous and have difficulty using utensils, preferring to use your hands to ingest the copious quantities of red meat you exclusively sustain yourself on.




Sidearms:


Ion Pistol:

You are in the same tier as the Tactical Assault Rifle user.
.................
You're sleeping with the SMG user's wife.