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Diablo Gamekeeper
Escrow Removal and Acquisition
No Context
320
   |
Posted - 2015.06.01 01:00:00 -
[1] - Quote
I am reading some of your old forum post and you are such a like prostitute cause ***** is censored.
[LOG#13498: Cat Merc]
[Location: Gallente research labs]
***Start playback***
Who am I?
According to you people, I am a soldier, the ultimate soldier...
But I do not remember my past...
All I remember is one day waking up in a cloning chamber, and scientists looking at my every move.
Did I have a past?
Memories...
Disconnected...
I can look at a weapon, and I know exactly how to operate it better than any trained soldier, and yet I never saw it before...
I can look at a vehicle and know every weak point on it...
And yet I cannot even remember the face of my mother?
The first thing I remember someone calling me was "The ultimate soldier".
I was told I was going to be the dawn of a new era for the Gallente.
I was expected to defend the Federation and hold it dear to my heart, but I felt no connection.
I was expected to respond to the name "Cat" in battle, and yet I felt no connection.
I was expected to respond to the name "Brian" outside of battle, and yet I felt no connection.
I was expected to protect human lives, and yet I felt no....
*Subject stops talking, and fails to respond to anything we say. He just sits on the chair, with his head down*
*Hours later - Subject says a word*
Meow?
[*End Log*]
[LOG#13498: Analysis]
[Subject: Vat grown human infused with feline DNA and imprinted soldier memory and knowledge]
The first day the subject came out of the vat, he seemed like a perfectly good human being.
He asked "Who am I?" and was given the truth, he is a super soldier.
He didn't say a word since.
We put him to the testing range, and he broke every possible record except for the strength test.
His reaction time was incredibly fast, he ran faster than most humans in dropsuits, he never ran out of stamina even in a full 2 hour run at 11m/s.
When asked to go through a field undetected, even the scientists with cameras installed all around the place couldn't see him, the next time they saw him was at the end of the field.
When given targets, he already had the gun pointed at them even before they could fully go up.
Sometimes it even looked like he knew exactly where the targets will come up.
The Admiral was pleased, and wanted to put him in a squad for a test mission in Caldari territory, to infiltrate and grab some data they needed.
"Cat Merc", as his squad called him, performed incredibly well, moving like fluid from room to room, and clearing it out with perfect movements before the people inside even realized he was taking them down.
However, there was one problem the squad reported.
He ignored them.
He did everything alone, ignoring the fact that he had a squad to work with.
While he did show incredible skill by doing alone a mission for 10 people, it was a worrying sign.
They took him back to the lab for testing.
Over a few weeks his mental health slowly eroded, until he was finally questioned by a scientist, and after babbling a few sentences, just stopped talking.
He then said "meow".
We let him go to sleep, and the next morning, it was like he... wasn't him.
He was functioning like a normal human being, with the exception of inhuman abilities of course.
We do not know what happened, but this requires further study.
For now, he seems to function very well in the military, and he is a valuable asset, and already raided hundreds of Caldari bases for intel, assassination, sabotage and more, with a perfect track record.
The military asked us to create more of him, but we're afraid of what would happen.
We still do not understand what happened that night that made him return to normal, and why his mental health eroded a few weeks after leaving the vat chamber.
[*End log*]
[Edit log #13498 - Cat Merc]
We recently turned him into an immortal soldier with the new technology, becoming one of the first in the Federation.
However, he showed the exact same signs as he did when he was first born from the vat chamber.
Perfect performance, then becoming insane over a few weeks, and then returning to normal.
We REALLY need to figure out why that happens.
[*End Log*]
I have DESTROYED CCP Rattati
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Green Living
Gallente Gay Swag Club
1
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Posted - 2015.06.01 01:03:00 -
[2] - Quote
You know what I haven't had in a while? Golden Grahams. |
One Eyed King
Nos Nothi
10
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Posted - 2015.06.01 01:05:00 -
[3] - Quote
Green Living wrote:You know what I haven't had in a while? Golden Grahams.
They make awesome smores.
Former CEO of the Land of the BIind.
Any double entendre is unintended I assure you.
|
Green Living
Gallente Gay Swag Club
1
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Posted - 2015.06.01 01:07:00 -
[4] - Quote
One Eyed King wrote:Green Living wrote:You know what I haven't had in a while? Golden Grahams. They make awesome smores.
Dude! I'm doing this TONIGHT. |
Diablo Gamekeeper
Escrow Removal and Acquisition
No Context
320
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 01:08:00 -
[5] - Quote
Now to wait for Cat Merc to show
I have DESTROYED CCP Rattati
|
Onesimus Tarsus
is-a-Corporation
3
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Posted - 2015.06.01 01:12:00 -
[6] - Quote
Larry Miller's take on skiing is hilarious.
.emag nug ym tpecxe gnihtyreve sexif gnikamhctam RDK
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Radiant Pancake3
Y.A.M.A.H
No Context
91
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Posted - 2015.06.01 01:15:00 -
[7] - Quote
Diablo Gamekeeper wrote:Now to wait for Cat Merc to show
I suggest you get Cap Nip. :3
I am the Clown of Ass or am I the Ass of Clown... o.O
Gû¼Gû¼+¦GòÉGòÉGòÉn¦ñ Minmatar Loyalist Gû¼Gû¼+¦GòÉGòÉGòÉn¦ñ
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Diablo Gamekeeper
Escrow Removal and Acquisition
No Context
320
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 01:17:00 -
[8] - Quote
Radiant Pancake3 wrote:Diablo Gamekeeper wrote:Now to wait for Cat Merc to show I suggest you get Cap Nip. :3
lol i was just thinking about making a forum post about luring him in with cat nip.
I have DESTROYED CCP Rattati
|
Robert Conway
Concordiat Mercenaries
354
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 01:19:00 -
[9] - Quote
Diablo Gamekeeper wrote:Now to wait for Cat Merc to show
Lol. Good thing I made that post. Or else you wouldn't have found this gem of a post on the old forums. 
Yassavi Approved. -Aero Yassavi
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Diablo Gamekeeper
Escrow Removal and Acquisition
No Context
320
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 01:21:00 -
[10] - Quote
Robert Conway wrote:Diablo Gamekeeper wrote:Now to wait for Cat Merc to show Lol. Good thing I made that post. Or else you wouldn't have found this gem of a post on the old forums.
lol yeup, i wouldve totally have forgotten how to get to that forum lol
I have DESTROYED CCP Rattati
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Diablo Gamekeeper
Escrow Removal and Acquisition
No Context
320
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 01:29:00 -
[11] - Quote
I am disappointed that the greatest forum warrior hasn't shown up yet.
I have DESTROYED CCP Rattati
|
Scheneighnay McBob
Tribal Liberation Force Paramilitary
7
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 01:44:00 -
[12] - Quote
Green Living wrote:One Eyed King wrote:Green Living wrote:You know what I haven't had in a while? Golden Grahams. They make awesome smores. Dude! I'm doing this TONIGHT.
That only sounds moderately good
Rule 34.6.1: every parody will have a crossover
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Joel II X
Bacon with a bottle of Quafe
7
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Posted - 2015.06.01 01:50:00 -
[13] - Quote
Green Living wrote:One Eyed King wrote:Green Living wrote:You know what I haven't had in a while? Golden Grahams. They make awesome smores. Dude! I'm doing this TONIGHT.
What a coincidence! I'm having smores as well!
High five! |
Diablo Gamekeeper
Escrow Removal and Acquisition
No Context
326
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 01:53:00 -
[14] - Quote
Joel II X wrote:Green Living wrote:One Eyed King wrote:Green Living wrote:You know what I haven't had in a while? Golden Grahams. They make awesome smores. Dude! I'm doing this TONIGHT. What a coincidence! I'm having smores as well! High five!
I want some smores.....
I have DESTROYED CCP Rattati
|
Robert Conway
Concordiat Mercenaries
355
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 01:54:00 -
[15] - Quote
Joel II X wrote:Green Living wrote:One Eyed King wrote:Green Living wrote:You know what I haven't had in a while? Golden Grahams. They make awesome smores. Dude! I'm doing this TONIGHT. What a coincidence! I'm having smores as well! High five!
My idea of smores is me (a white guy aka marshmallow) with a black chick (aka chocolate) and hispanic chick (aka gram cracker). 
Yassavi Approved. -Aero Yassavi
|
Diablo Gamekeeper
Escrow Removal and Acquisition
No Context
326
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 02:19:00 -
[16] - Quote
Robert Conway wrote:Joel II X wrote:Green Living wrote:One Eyed King wrote:Green Living wrote:You know what I haven't had in a while? Golden Grahams. They make awesome smores. Dude! I'm doing this TONIGHT. What a coincidence! I'm having smores as well! High five! My idea of smores is me (a white guy aka marshmallow) with a black chick (aka chocolate) and hispanic chick (aka gram cracker).
I have DESTROYED CCP Rattati
|
Robert Conway
Concordiat Mercenaries
356
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 02:23:00 -
[17] - Quote
What? Lol.
Yassavi Approved. -Aero Yassavi
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Maken Tosch
DUST University
Ivy League
11
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Posted - 2015.06.01 02:26:00 -
[18] - Quote
So that explains everything.
Eve Online Invite
https://secure.eveonline.com/trial/?invc=ed64524f-15ca-4997-ab92-eaae0af74b7f&action=buddy
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Diablo Gamekeeper
Escrow Removal and Acquisition
No Context
327
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 02:31:00 -
[19] - Quote
you know what lol
I have DESTROYED CCP Rattati
|
Robert Conway
Concordiat Mercenaries
356
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 02:33:00 -
[20] - Quote
And I'd have a nice talk with them! Damn man, get your head out of the gutter.
Yassavi Approved. -Aero Yassavi
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Diablo Gamekeeper
Escrow Removal and Acquisition
No Context
327
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 02:39:00 -
[21] - Quote
Robert Conway wrote:And I'd have a nice talk with them! Damn man, get your head out of the gutter.
I have DESTROYED CCP Rattati
|
Robert Conway
Concordiat Mercenaries
356
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 02:43:00 -
[22] - Quote
Diablo Gamekeeper wrote:Robert Conway wrote:And I'd have a nice talk with them! Damn man, get your head out of the gutter.
Geez... now what? 
Yassavi Approved. -Aero Yassavi
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Clone D
Solo Zen
1
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Posted - 2015.06.01 02:47:00 -
[23] - Quote
Diablo Gamekeeper wrote:Perfect performance, then becoming insane over a few weeks, and then returning to normal.
We REALLY need to figure out why that happens.
[*End Log*]
Sounds like manic depression. Has lithium been tried? |
CoochMaster Flex
Negative-Feedback.
Negative-Feedback
112
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Posted - 2015.06.01 02:50:00 -
[24] - Quote
Diablo Gamekeeper wrote:I am disappointed that the greatest forum warrior hasn't shown up yet.
Some people have a life you know. Lol
Hard mode B. -Gongshow Akuma.
Get Better! - T9999.
Yeah, we kicked their ass pretty hard. -MrParker696.
ConHu Lives! $$$
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Diablo Gamekeeper
Escrow Removal and Acquisition
No Context
328
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 02:57:00 -
[25] - Quote
Clone D wrote:Diablo Gamekeeper wrote:Perfect performance, then becoming insane over a few weeks, and then returning to normal.
We REALLY need to figure out why that happens.
[*End Log*] Sounds like manic depression. Has lithium been tried?
Ask the Cat if he shows
I have DESTROYED CCP Rattati
|
Diablo Gamekeeper
Escrow Removal and Acquisition
No Context
328
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 02:58:00 -
[26] - Quote
CoochMaster Flex wrote:Diablo Gamekeeper wrote:I am disappointed that the greatest forum warrior hasn't shown up yet. Some people have a life you know. Lol
Yeah, Forum Warrior. Forum Warrior is life.
I have DESTROYED CCP Rattati
|
One Eyed King
Nos Nothi
10
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Posted - 2015.06.01 02:58:00 -
[27] - Quote
Robert Conway wrote:Joel II X wrote:Green Living wrote:One Eyed King wrote:Green Living wrote:You know what I haven't had in a while? Golden Grahams. They make awesome smores. Dude! I'm doing this TONIGHT. What a coincidence! I'm having smores as well! High five! My idea of smores is me (a white guy aka marshmallow) with a black chick (aka chocolate) and hispanic chick (aka gram cracker).
I have never heard of a smore where the marshmallow manages to disappoint the chocolate and graham cracker before.
Interesting.
Former CEO of the Land of the BIind.
Any double entendre is unintended I assure you.
|
Diablo Gamekeeper
Escrow Removal and Acquisition
No Context
330
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 03:01:00 -
[28] - Quote
lol to above post
I have DESTROYED CCP Rattati
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Clone D
Solo Zen
1
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 03:05:00 -
[29] - Quote
One Eyed King wrote:Robert Conway wrote:Joel II X wrote:Green Living wrote:One Eyed King wrote:They make awesome smores. Dude! I'm doing this TONIGHT. What a coincidence! I'm having smores as well! High five! My idea of smores is me (a white guy aka marshmallow) with a black chick (aka chocolate) and hispanic chick (aka gram cracker). I have never heard of a smore where the marshmallow manages to disappoint the chocolate and graham cracker before. Interesting.
Damn dude.  . That's harsh. |
Faquira Bleuetta
Fatal Absolution
Negative-Feedback
510
|
Posted - 2015.06.01 03:06:00 -
[30] - Quote
Radiant Pancake3 wrote:Diablo Gamekeeper wrote:Now to wait for Cat Merc to show I suggest you get Cap Nip. :3
or Gefilte fish stuffed wit catnip |
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