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Hynox Xitio
0uter.Heaven
1408
|
Posted - 2014.07.02 00:53:00 -
[1] - Quote
It was a slow, uneventful skirmish match. I had recently hiked up the hill overseeing the 2 point city. An enemy Python had been harassing us for some three minutes, and I intended to forge it down. After several seconds of watching the skies, I saw the dropship zooming by overhead. It was firing missiles in my direction, by it was easily out o my effective range. My patience growing thin, I spotted a single missile landing in close proximity to a friendly LAV. The LAV jolt to a halt, and a Gallente scout emerged from the driver's seat.
I suspected the scout to be proceeding on foot towards a nearby objective, but this was not the case. He gazed at the dropship, as if concocting some sort of plan. I was about one second away from looking away when I saw it, the most glorious act of valor my immortal eyes ever gave witness to. With the Python now stationary, overlooking the opposite end of the map, the Gallente scout struck the back of his LAV with his fist. This scout absolutely has to be the strongest human being to ever grace the universe with it's presence. The nanosecond his fist collided with the LAV, gravity lost any and all control over this LAV. Spinning horizontally clockwise at a speed I could not comprehend, the LAV launched into the skies in the blink of an eye.
I was struck with inconceivable awe. The LAV collided with the enemy Viper with perfect accuracy. The Viper immediately recoiled, sustaining a fatal blow the second it collided. It was sent barreling away to it's destruction, no doubt landing deep in the redline. The same could not be said for the LAV. The LAV was still blazing ahead into the heavens, it's momentum and velocity unaltered by the collision. I saw it fly farther into the redline than I ever could have thought possible. It's razor straight trajectory had not been altered in the slightest. After staring at the biblical feat just performed by the scout, the LAV vanished from sight. I suspect it had accelerated to a speed well exceeding lightspeed, as I was no longer able to view it in any capacity.
Being forced into a state of disbelief and utter confusion, I turned my gaze back to the scout, who I was preparing to worship as the god and king of universe. The scout was no longer there, he had vanished out of sight completely. Where did this scout go? How and why has he been gifted with this biblical powers? Who is this godlike superhuman, whose first instinct upon seeing an ADS is to throw an LAV at it with perfect accuracy? Some of these answers will remain unsolved until the end of time, but one thing is certain: The chosen merc walks among us. I suspect that his punch alone has the power to cut through not only your molecular structure, but also your basic perception of time.
I feel that this is fitting music to describe the incident.
Unleash the Fogwoggler, follow your dreams.
( -íº -£-û -íº) /)
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One Eyed King
Land of the BIind
2225
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Posted - 2014.07.02 00:59:00 -
[2] - Quote
I was about to give you a stern talking to, then I read your post.
Well played sir.
This is how a minja feels
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Miokai Zahou
The Southern Legion Final Resolution.
304
|
Posted - 2014.07.02 01:05:00 -
[3] - Quote
Chuck Norris would be proud...
Noob isn't really a status, it's the online equivalent of a 5-year old calling you a poopy fart head.
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Scheneighnay McBob
Cult of Gasai
5534
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Posted - 2014.07.02 01:06:00 -
[4] - Quote
My amarr scout fucks pythons up, also watched a caldari scout scan an HAV until it exploded.
Completely serious about the amarr scout part, though. Wait for them to fly low, then blast them with a plasma cannon. More often than not, the explosion pushes them into a building and they explode. One dumbass flew into a place where they bounced off of 3 different things before crashing.
pé¦pâ+pé¦pâ½pâäpâ¬pâ¦pé¦pâ¼pâ+pâêpü»sñ¬S+ïpéè
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Joel II X
Dah Gods O Bacon
2687
|
Posted - 2014.07.02 01:06:00 -
[5] - Quote
I believe you have witnessed the power of Joe's OP-1337 Myofibrils.
Officer Mods. If he only used two, imagine a Mk.0 Assault... |
Hynox Xitio
0uter.Heaven
1411
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Posted - 2014.07.02 01:17:00 -
[6] - Quote
Scheneighnay McBob wrote:scout scan an HAV until it exploded.
I suspect this mysterious scout to be capable of this, the scanner may even destroy the very souls of his enemies.
Unleash the Fogwoggler, follow your dreams.
( -íº -£-û -íº) /)
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Right-wing Extremist
Nos Nothi
208
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Posted - 2014.07.02 01:18:00 -
[7] - Quote
What the hell did I just read?
Jaceon Pale-eye.
Soon to be the deadliest prick in OSG.
Unless Mal says no :(
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Appia Vibbia
Molon Labe. General Tso's Alliance
3065
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Posted - 2014.07.02 01:21:00 -
[8] - Quote
Right-wing Extremist wrote:What the hell did I just read? Why Scouts are OP, they have those fists of steel.
Appia Vibbia for CPM1
Empress of Alts
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LT SHANKS
Amarr Templars Amarr Empire
2846
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Posted - 2014.07.02 01:24:00 -
[9] - Quote
*clap clap clap!* |
DarthMcFizzle
The Unholy Legion Of DarkStar DARKSTAR ARMY
34
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Posted - 2014.07.02 01:39:00 -
[10] - Quote
I will definitely be spending tomorrow punching LAvs |
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Onesimus Tarsus
Company of Marcher Lords Amarr Empire
2215
|
Posted - 2014.07.02 01:42:00 -
[11] - Quote
If you punch a LAV hard enough to launch it in a ballistic fashion, it would most likely just be punctured by your fist, and not move at all.
K/D(r) WP/D(r) matchmaking fixes the whole game. Period.
Seriously. Think about it.
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Cat Merc
Onslaught Inc RISE of LEGION
10611
|
Posted - 2014.07.02 01:45:00 -
[12] - Quote
Those are my patented Nova Claws. They come with an anti gravity mode too!
I am ze god. Worship the glorious cat.
Feline overlord of all humans - CAT MERC
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Onesimus Tarsus
Company of Marcher Lords Amarr Empire
2215
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Posted - 2014.07.02 01:48:00 -
[13] - Quote
If your claws deactivate gravity, you, being the lower of the two masses, would progress away from the impact at a much higher rate than the LAV.
K/D(r) WP/D(r) matchmaking fixes the whole game. Period.
Seriously. Think about it.
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vlad stoich
Fooly Cooly.
202
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Posted - 2014.07.02 01:51:00 -
[14] - Quote
Hynox Xitio wrote:It was a slow, uneventful skirmish match. I had recently hiked up the hill overseeing the 2 point city. An enemy Python had been harassing us for some three minutes, and I intended to forge it down. After several seconds of watching the skies, I saw the dropship zooming by overhead. It was firing missiles in my direction, by it was easily out o my effective range. My patience growing thin, I spotted a single missile landing in close proximity to a friendly LAV. The LAV jolt to a halt, and a Gallente scout emerged from the driver's seat. I suspected the scout to be proceeding on foot towards a nearby objective, but this was not the case. He gazed at the dropship, as if concocting some sort of plan. I was about one second away from looking away when I saw it, the most glorious act of valor my immortal eyes ever gave witness to. With the Python now stationary, overlooking the opposite end of the map, the Gallente scout struck the back of his LAV with his fist. This scout absolutely has to be the strongest human being to ever grace the universe with it's presence. The nanosecond his fist collided with the LAV, gravity lost any and all control over this LAV. Spinning horizontally clockwise at a speed I could not comprehend, the LAV launched into the skies in the blink of an eye. I was struck with inconceivable awe. The LAV collided with the enemy Viper with perfect accuracy. The Viper immediately recoiled, sustaining a fatal blow the second it collided. It was sent barreling away to it's destruction, no doubt landing deep in the redline. The same could not be said for the LAV. The LAV was still blazing ahead into the heavens, it's momentum and velocity unaltered by the collision. I saw it fly farther into the redline than I ever could have thought possible. It's razor straight trajectory had not been altered in the slightest. After staring at the biblical feat just performed by the scout, the LAV vanished from sight. I suspect it had accelerated to a speed well exceeding lightspeed, as I was no longer able to view it in any capacity. Being forced into a state of disbelief and utter confusion, I turned my gaze back to the scout, who I was preparing to worship as the god and king of universe. The scout was no longer there, he had vanished out of sight completely. Where did this scout go? How and why has he been gifted with this biblical powers? Who is this godlike superhuman, whose first instinct upon seeing an ADS is to throw an LAV at it with perfect accuracy? Some of these answers will remain unsolved until the end of time, but one thing is certain: The chosen merc walks among us. I suspect that his punch alone has the power to cut through not only your molecular structure, but also your basic perception of time. I feel that this is fitting music to describe the incident. This is a lot better than some love novel I read in War Room between a tranny & Roman. |
Bethhy
Ancient Exiles. General Tso's Alliance
2053
|
Posted - 2014.07.02 01:56:00 -
[15] - Quote
All the LAV saw as the scout decloaked. |
Cat Merc
Onslaught Inc RISE of LEGION
10612
|
Posted - 2014.07.02 01:59:00 -
[16] - Quote
Onesimus Tarsus wrote:If your claws deactivate gravity, you, being the lower of the two masses, would progress away from the impact at a much higher rate than the LAV. I am a descendant of Schrodinger's Cat, I have quantum powers.
Do not question me.
Feline overlord of all humans - CAT MERC
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Hynox Xitio
0uter.Heaven
1422
|
Posted - 2014.07.02 02:02:00 -
[17] - Quote
Onesimus Tarsus wrote:If you punch a LAV hard enough to launch it in a ballistic fashion, it would most likely just be punctured by your fist, and not move at all.
I guess thats a testament to Onikuma engineering.
Unleash the Fogwoggler, follow your dreams.
( -íº -£-û -íº) /)
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Crimson ShieId
Psygod9
617
|
Posted - 2014.07.02 02:04:00 -
[18] - Quote
I know the identity of this mystery scout... and he's not Cat...
Nova Knives are best sidearm.
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tander09
KILL-EM-QUICK RISE of LEGION
106
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Posted - 2014.07.02 02:06:00 -
[19] - Quote
Amarr scout: That's cute *amarr scout proceeds to go on a massive killing spree, terminating HMG heavys, Cloaked shotty scouts(WHILE THEIR STILL CLOAKED), Minjas, Blaster HAVs, ADSes and even captured(not destroyed) the enemy MCC, using only an Amarr sword.*
let us transfer our BPOs,stats,gear,ISK and SP to legion pl0x!
Try and steal my BPOs. I dare ya.
AMARRIAN4LYFE
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I-Shayz-I
I----------I
3848
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Posted - 2014.07.02 02:28:00 -
[20] - Quote
You obviously weren't there when LAVs flew out of forge guns.
I'm being serious here, this actually happened.
7162 wp with a Repair Tool!
List of Legion Feedback Threads!
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bogeyman m
Minmatar Republic
297
|
Posted - 2014.07.02 02:40:00 -
[21] - Quote
I bet that scout could eat lightning and crap thunder: http://youtu.be/o0CXUv-xxtY
Duct tape 2.0 ... Have WD-40; will travel.
Cross Atu for CPM1
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JP Acuna
Pendejitos Zero-Day
204
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Posted - 2014.07.02 02:53:00 -
[22] - Quote
May His fist conquer a district for Pendejitos, i pray. (...and defend plox) |
I-Shayz-I
I----------I
3851
|
Posted - 2014.07.02 02:59:00 -
[23] - Quote
Also this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kA0tg8hudw
7162 wp with a Repair Tool!
List of Legion Feedback Threads!
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Bojo The Mighty
Spaceman Drug Cartel-Uno
3945
|
Posted - 2014.07.02 03:37:00 -
[24] - Quote
Cat Merc wrote:Onesimus Tarsus wrote:If your claws deactivate gravity, you, being the lower of the two masses, would progress away from the impact at a much higher rate than the LAV. I am a descendant of Schrodinger's Cat, I have quantum powers. Do not question me. You have Schrodinger Cat-Powers not quantum powers
You can exist in two states at once, life & death, if you are in a box with poison Voila!
I'm not resting in peace but rather wandering as a zombie in vengeance of no good reason
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Cody Sietz
SVER True Blood Dirt Nap Squad.
3448
|
Posted - 2014.07.02 04:43:00 -
[25] - Quote
I weep, I weep with joy!
"I do agree with you there though. shudders"
-Arkena Wyrnspire
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Hynox Xitio
0uter.Heaven
1434
|
Posted - 2014.07.02 04:46:00 -
[26] - Quote
I wonder what the ADS pilot saw.
I imagine he slowly stumbles out of the smoking wreckage, only to look into clouds and see the LAV zooming into oblivion. He shudders in his cold realization that he is dealing with someone, or something, capable of such unrivaled destruction. He may never bear witness to such an event for the remainder of his existence, but time itself will unwind before he forgets that day: the day something shot down his dropship with a car.
Unleash the Fogwoggler, follow your dreams.
( -íº -£-û -íº) /)
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Haerr
Legio DXIV
889
|
Posted - 2014.07.02 08:08:00 -
[27] - Quote
Lol. It is true, I can no longer deny it; nerf all the things.
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SAIRAX SIS
Nyain San General Tso's Alliance
89
|
Posted - 2014.07.02 09:24:00 -
[28] - Quote
lol good It was interesting text.
yoroshiku ne !pÇÇpÇÇCute Cat NyaoooonpÇÇGÖ¬
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TechMechMeds
Inner.Hell
3751
|
Posted - 2014.07.02 10:44:00 -
[29] - Quote
What just happened, who am I lol.
Just like every other Englishmen, I bath in tea, have no teeth and live in a castle.
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Hynox Xitio
0uter.Heaven
1450
|
Posted - 2014.07.02 15:46:00 -
[30] - Quote
Maybe I need to try out those mybrofil thingamajigs everyone's talking about.
Unleash the Fogwoggler, follow your dreams.
( -íº -£-û -íº) /)
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