Markuss Sephyl
Brutor Vanguard
Minmatar Republic
0
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Posted - 2013.08.08 09:52:00 -
[1] - Quote
As I sat in my quarters, fresh from a victorious battle, I thought that I could have done better. Then my thoughts turned to how many times I had died during that battle. It confused me. I have "died" many times in my endeavors. Yet here I sit, with memories of every second I have fought. There is one thing I do not remember, however, and that is how I came into being. I was given conciousness not by a mother, but by a machine. I am not who I am. Whose body is this? The one where I "reside", as if it were just another living quarters? Did it belong to somebody? I pondered these questions, the meaning of this treasonous thought eluding me. Then, I realized that the very same people who we were warring against went through the very same process.
Being a soldier for so long, you never really see someone's face. It makes me question of the humanity of it all. Are we even human anymore? We are not "mindless", that has been proven through our ever-shifting conciousness. But, we are "bodyless". We will eventually lose this body. Were we to lay down our arms and refuse to fight, we would be terminated. Have you ever thought how many times your enemies have died? And how, even though you killing them wins you valor, there is a fresh clone there to replace them?
Our societies and cultures are different. Our beliefs are different. Our style and our tactics are different. But our method of waging war? All too familiar. It made me think: In regards to our enemies, we justify our actions through whatever belief system our culture is "supposed" to stand for. But when it comes to the actual fighting...
Are we really any better?
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Markuss Sephyl
Brutor Vanguard
Minmatar Republic
0
|
Posted - 2013.08.09 08:14:00 -
[2] - Quote
Occasionally I dream of a hyper-realistic life within a Minmitar village. It doesn't really feel as if I was jumping, yet the sensations are so real... I wonder whether or not I really am visiting that village. It just seems "off". I'm so used to going into battle each day, and returning with a different clone's body, that I'm a bit sensitized to the concept of an actual life, outside the military.
I can't place the word I should use. Swapping bodies so frequently gets... Exhausting. Even though I have no concept of exhaustion, it still feels as if I'm dragging more than just mt conciousness to another clone, at times. |