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Justicar Karnellia
Ikomari-Onu Enforcement
Caldari State
27
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Posted - 2013.08.05 12:48:00 -
[1] - Quote
Dear Mercs,
I am large blaster installation, but this letter is also written on behalf of my brother large railgun installation and our ugly cousin large missile installation. I have a few gripes with you that I need to share because enough is enough:
1) I don't like being infected with viruses - seriously, sometimes 2-3 viruses are coarsing through my system, pumping me full of buffer overflows that try things like "push1 %ebp". You ever seen me just turning around firing randomly at nothing in particular? This is why...
2) If I killed someone by myself I deserve recognition - Ok so you got your way and I'm killing anything that shows up on my radar as an orange blob. If that happens, I like to show up on the scoreboard so that when you're handing out candy and ISK at the end I get my fair share - you are not the only one who cares about their kill/death ratio you know...
3) Stop being a wussy and hiding behind me in a gun fight - Sometimes I'll do you a favour and gun down the guy who just sprayed me with gunfire, but I do that for me, not for you...
4) I know about the spaces in between my legs ok?? - So you got gunned down because some guy shot you through the space between my legs. I'm very self-conscious about that and don't want to talk about it. My brother railgun has a fat turret too and prefers you don't mention that - have some respect please!
5) If I had to choose - I prefer a nice virus than being destroyed within 20 seconds of you guys showing up in your dropsuits. Unless you're in a tank, then you just deserve to die. Hey are you still reading this??
Love and hugs,
Your local large blaster installation |
Justicar Karnellia
Ikomari-Onu Enforcement
Caldari State
34
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Posted - 2013.08.05 13:15:00 -
[2] - Quote
Halador Osiris wrote:Justicar Karnellia wrote:2) If I killed someone by myself I deserve recognition - Ok so you got your way and I'm killing anything that shows up on my radar as an orange blob. If that happens, I like to show up on the scoreboard so that when you're handing out candy and ISK at the end I get my fair share - you are not the only one who cares about their kill/death ratio you know.. Actually, it'd be really cool if the person who hacked the turret got a kill assist or like 5 WP when the turret scores a kill.
On a more serious note, It was just because when I was killed once by an installation and the poor thing had no kills/deaths or a list of all the equipment he was using and I was like "aww....." I still think he should show up on the killboard though. :)
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Justicar Karnellia
Ikomari-Onu Enforcement
Caldari State
37
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Posted - 2013.08.05 14:00:00 -
[3] - Quote
Mechoj Nomreps wrote:I was entertained 
thanks. Trying to add some levity to the forums. :P |
Justicar Karnellia
Ikomari-Onu Enforcement
Caldari State
53
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Posted - 2013.08.06 11:57:00 -
[4] - Quote
broonfondle majikthies wrote:Dear Large Blaster Installation,
Why is it that you reward me for saving you from friendly fire at the start of the match by your complete failure to prevent the other side from capturing the null cannon directly opposite you?
Yours with deep love and affection
Broonfondle x
I guess that's an idea - all neutral installations should be agressive to anyone near them!!! :P
Mind you, that would make them even unhappier because it would give all the more reason to destroy them... |
Justicar Karnellia
Ikomari-Onu Enforcement
Caldari State
55
|
Posted - 2013.08.06 12:34:00 -
[5] - Quote
Spademan wrote:Alright installation, if you're so confident, why have you never aided me of your own free will? Sure, it's happened to other people and I've seen it, they've been aided but what about me bro? The only time I've been helped by you is when you were under my control or that of an ally.
I believe you need to refer to point 3)
:P
On a serious note... I admit that's the only time I get helped... is when i have my back to a blaster installation and enemy fire misses me and hits him instead - thank you large blaster installation xoxoxoxoxox |
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