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Mithridates Vl
Imperfects Public Relations
69
   |
Posted - 2013.05.28 23:42:00 -
[1] - Quote
As leaders of the mercenary world, the Imperfects are aware that their actions are subject to close scrutiny by all. In acknowledgement of this fact, we are going to great administrative lengths to declassify and share with the public some of our groundbreaking practices, methods and protocols.
This is the Prometheus Initiative. Ensuring that the tools of the Gods are available to you mere mortals, so that you might grow and evolve. The first release is attached.
//Attachment
/Prometheus_Initiative_0001.psv
/Decoding... Complete.
>Imperfects Declassified Emergency Response Protocols (I DERP)
Good day to you, mercenary hero! Congratulations on your acceptance into the Tomorrow's Imperfects Today program. You're well on your way to becoming a certified TIT.
In your previous lesson, we explained how the electrodes we've attached to your arm can automate trigger presses at superhuman speed... but it's no good being a glorious badass with a Tactical Assault Rifle if you don't know where the enemies are!
Today you will be instructed on communicating strategy and relaying tactical information efficiently in the heat of battle.
Important Considerations:
- Do not allow radio silence until each mercenary has drawn his last breath. Though our communications are encrypted, it is likely that the opponent is scanning the available channels and will use the distinctive pattern of static that an occupied but encrypted channel creates to determine whether you are still in the area. A constant stream of menacing noise will provide an effective reminder that you remain engaged with the enemy and is a recommended method of psychological warfare.
- At the start of the engagement, quickly and methodically establish which combat role each mercenary will fill. An example of an acceptable exchange follows:
Quote:A: BRO WHO IS OUR SLAYZORS?
B: ME BRO, I AM OUR SLAYER BRO. BRO.
A: LOL BRO SHUT UP WHO IS OUR SLAYZORS FOR REAL?
B: ME BRO. I'M A SLAYER. I AM RUNNING
C: BRO, [B] IS A SLAYER, BRO.
B: TOLD YOU. SCRUB.
A: LOL
B: LOL
C: LOL
A: BUT WHO IS SLAYZOR FOR REAL?
- Mercenaries often awaken in their clones with a slight disorientation. Studies have proven that an effective remedy for this disorientation is to clearly explain the obvious functionality of commonly used equipment to trigger a feeling of familiarity in your comrade. The most common example of this is for one of the twelve Field Commanders to explain the functionality of a drop uplink in what would otherwise be unnecessary detail.
- Insulting one another creates a sense of camaraderie and reinforces group cohesion.
- It can often be difficult to determine the priority of any given piece of information. To effectively communicate this, first rate the information you are relaying on a scale of 1 to 10, then repeat it that many times. Examples follow.
LEVEL ONE COMMUNICATION wrote:Guys, there are reds at the objective.
LEVEL THREE COMMUNICATIONS wrote:EVE SUPPORT. EVE SUPPORT. EVE SUPPORT.
LEVEL NINE COMMUNICATIONS wrote:EVE SUPPORT. EVE SUPPORT. EVE SUPPORT. EVE SUPPORT. EVE SUPPORT. EVE SUPPORT. EVE SUPPORT. EVE SUPPORT. EVE SUPPORT.
- It is most essential to [redacted]
//Media terminated; decoding error. |
Noc Tempre
Commando Perkone
Caldari State
1707
|
Posted - 2013.05.28 23:59:00 -
[2] - Quote
Order in the next 5.2 minutes and we'll throw in a "How to spend your SP" Flowchart for FREE!
Preview:
Do you have Caldari Logi V? Yes -> TAC AR, No -> Get it ASAP |
TheAmazing FlyingPig
Crux Special Tasks Group
Gallente Federation
612
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Posted - 2013.05.29 00:02:00 -
[3] - Quote
Mithridates Vl wrote:As leaders of the mercenary world...
Stopped reading there. |
Azura Sakura
Militaires-Sans-Frontieres
31
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 00:17:00 -
[4] - Quote
TheAmazing FlyingPig wrote:Mithridates Vl wrote:As leaders of the drama club.... Stopped reading there.
Is that better? |
Sollemnis Aelinos
89th Infantry Division
19
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 00:18:00 -
[5] - Quote
Azura Sakura wrote:TheAmazing FlyingPig wrote:Mithridates Vl wrote:As leaders of the drama club.... Stopped reading there. Is that better?
lol |
Surt gods end
Demon Ronin
161
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 00:21:00 -
[6] - Quote
(Reads Title of post) Is it me or are the Imps sounding like me?
*or are you sounding like an imp? arrogance at it's finest*
Hey! Not arrogance. cockiness maybe. But ain't it always the dashing fiends, and young rogues who must burden the insults of just being confident?
Yes. for arrogance would be to call oneself god, but I being more humble, would say I am what god wishes he could be.
*and thus you sound like an imp*
Take that back! |
Bang Bang Pow
Crux Special Tasks Group
Gallente Federation
6
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 00:22:00 -
[7] - Quote
Azura Sakura wrote:TheAmazing FlyingPig wrote:Mithridates Vl wrote:As leaders of the drama club.... Stopped reading there. Is that better?
Did you guys miss the part where this thread was self-deprecating humor? It makes you look really dumb to respond to it like it's a boast. |
Bang Bang Pow
Crux Special Tasks Group
Gallente Federation
6
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 00:22:00 -
[8] - Quote
Surt gods end wrote:(Reads Title of post) Is it me or are the Imps sounding like me?
*or are you sounding like an imp? arrogance at it's finest*
Hey! Not arrogance. cockiness maybe. But ain't it always the dashing fiends, and young rogues who must burden the insults of just being confident?
Yes. for arrogance would be to call oneself god, but I being more humble, would say I am what god wishes he could be.
*and thus you sound like an imp*
Take that back!
See above. |
Azura Sakura
Militaires-Sans-Frontieres
31
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 00:25:00 -
[9] - Quote
Bang Bang Pow wrote:Azura Sakura wrote:TheAmazing FlyingPig wrote:Mithridates Vl wrote:As leaders of the drama club.... Stopped reading there. Is that better? Did you guys miss the part where this thread was self-deprecating humor? It makes you look really dumb to respond to it like it's a boast.
Only thing funny about this thread is me looking up the definition for "deprecating," sorry for being dumb and responding to their post. Please forgive me :( |
Surt gods end
Demon Ronin
161
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 00:28:00 -
[10] - Quote
Bang Bang Pow wrote:Surt gods end wrote:(Reads Title of post) Is it me or are the Imps sounding like me?
*or are you sounding like an imp? arrogance at it's finest*
Hey! Not arrogance. cockiness maybe. But ain't it always the dashing fiends, and young rogues who must burden the insults of just being confident?
Yes. for arrogance would be to call oneself god, but I being more humble, would say I am what god wishes he could be.
*and thus you sound like an imp*
Take that back! See above.
OH! Good. so it's only I who sound like arrogant prick.
*don't be proud dude*
Why not? My confidence is such that ladies when I tell I'll give you the moon, then You know I'm going to actually try.
*Smooth*
 |
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Mithridates VI
IMPSwarm
Negative-Feedback
1713
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 00:34:00 -
[11] - Quote
I'll make a note that "certified TIT" was too subtle for some. |
The Attorney General
ZionTCD
Unclaimed.
57
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 00:48:00 -
[12] - Quote
The blue donuts boys sure do love to chatter.
|
gbghg
L.O.T.I.S.
RISE of LEGION
1905
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 01:26:00 -
[13] - Quote
I take it Prometheus refers to the dropships? Cause this thread crashed and burned just as bad as one. |
Medic 1879
The Tritan Industries
RISE of LEGION
413
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 01:37:00 -
[14] - Quote
Mithridates VI wrote:I'll make a note that "certified TIT" was too subtle for some.
I still dont get that part.  |
Cass Barr
Red Star.
EoN.
84
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 01:51:00 -
[15] - Quote
I found it funny, your work wasn't completely wasted. |
Mithridates VI
IMPSwarm
Negative-Feedback
1717
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 02:01:00 -
[16] - Quote
gbghg wrote:I take it Prometheus refers to the dropships? Cause this thread crashed and burned just as bad as one.
It hasn't even started yet. |
Mithridates VI
IMPSwarm
Negative-Feedback
1717
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 02:03:00 -
[17] - Quote
Medic 1879 wrote:Mithridates VI wrote:I'll make a note that "certified TIT" was too subtle for some. I still dont get that part.
I was calling Imperfects names. "Certified tit" is synonymous with "veritably stupid". THAT'S THE JOKE. |
Medic 1879
The Tritan Industries
RISE of LEGION
414
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 02:16:00 -
[18] - Quote
Mithridates VI wrote:Medic 1879 wrote:Mithridates VI wrote:I'll make a note that "certified TIT" was too subtle for some. I still dont get that part. I was calling Imperfects names. "Certified tit" is synonymous with "veritably stupid". THAT'S THE JOKE.
Nope sorry still dont get it must be too subtle a referance for me. |
Mithridates VI
IMPSwarm
Negative-Feedback
1718
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 02:36:00 -
[19] - Quote
Medic 1879 wrote:Mithridates VI wrote:Medic 1879 wrote:Mithridates VI wrote:I'll make a note that "certified TIT" was too subtle for some. I still dont get that part. I was calling Imperfects names. "Certified tit" is synonymous with "veritably stupid". THAT'S THE JOKE. Nope sorry still dont get it must be too subtle a referance for me.
Yeah, I'm pretty sly like that. |
ZiwZih
The Tritan Industries
RISE of LEGION
190
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 02:39:00 -
[20] - Quote
:i_heart_mithri: |
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Sontie
Ill Omens
EoN.
448
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 07:00:00 -
[21] - Quote
poking fun of your own flaws? Awesome :) |
Syther Shadows
The Unholy Legion Of DarkStar
DARKSTAR ARMY
78
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 07:30:00 -
[22] - Quote
This was very educational |
Zahle Undt
The Tritan Industries
RISE of LEGION
119
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 17:17:00 -
[23] - Quote
Damn it Imps! How are you going to be the hated rat bastards of Dust if you keep not taking yourselves seriously and making me laugh?  |
RevoL Frog
The Generals
EoN.
27
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 17:31:00 -
[24] - Quote
Let's see this for what it is....
This thread was created in response to everyone laughing at how horrible their comms were in game vs. STB. LMAO!
Imps are embarrassed, and are doing damage control. |
Bones McGavins
TacoCat Industries
267
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 17:40:00 -
[25] - Quote
Hey come on now. It is effective to yell over each other. And to the IMP who simply let out a long, loud, frustrated groan which caused a bit of radio silence... well done sir. |
Maximus Stryker
Villore Sec Ops
Gallente Federation
491
|
Posted - 2013.05.29 17:47:00 -
[26] - Quote
RevoL Frog wrote:Let's see this for what it is....
This thread was created in response to everyone laughing at how horrible their comms were in game vs. STB. LMAO!
Imps are embarrassed, and are doing damage control.
My guess is damage control is for people who take things way to seriously...and I don't think Imps take things nearly seriously enough to perform a damage control measure.
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