The MercenaryGÇÖs Guide to New Eden
Do Panic!!!
The first and most important part of survival in New Eden is, remember to panic! The panic maneuverer can be executed in a myriad of different ways. In this section I will highlight a few of the best ways to panic.
-Breathing: Make sure to do this with short ragged breaths. Your microphone should be directly in front of your mouth, to do this properly. Remember if your teammates canGÇÖt hear you wheezing and hyperventilating, you should move your mic closer to your mouth and turn up the sensitivity in the playstation menu (disclaimer: due to the variance between manufacturers some mics must be placed in your mouth to properly panic).
-Verbal Expression: This is a very expansive topic, so for the sake of brevity I will forgo detailed explanations. Please when panicking always remember to shout unintelligent things to your team so that they know you are a true FPS player, and ready to play seriously. Upon death always make sure to verbally berate the teammate nearest to you or a squad member regardless of circumstance. The most important thing to remember is that it is not your fault. In New Eden there are many factors you can use to your advantage when shifting the blame. Make sure to let your team know that if you had the proper gear you would have GÇ£Owned that NoobGÇ¥, also make sure to tell them about how OP his weaponry is, and that you talked to a Dev about incoming nerfs for it.
-Anger and Fear: Panic is a fair mixture of both anger and fear. Always make sure to mask your fear with anger. If your teammates canGÇÖt hear you smashing the controller on the coffee table, screaming at your mom, punching the wall, or extreme use of profanity you are doing it wrong. It is very important to direct for anger and fear towards others so that they know just how good you are and how that they are preventing you from winning.
Now that weGÇÖve discussed just a few of the external factors of panic IGÇÖd like to discuss a few game mechanics that can be used while panicking.
-Getting shot at: when being shot at make sure to stay still. Movement could hamper your ability to blame another, to not get to cover, or to type a message to that girl from school on facebook. If you find it necessary to move there are two options available to the avid panicker. The first option is the simple bunny hop. This is the best way to not get noticed or shot. You should not use the directionals for this, just press the jump button as fast and as hard as you can repeatedly. The second option is the 360GÇÖ . This can be done 2 ways the first is simple just look in a full circle around you without moving. This will signal that the shooter has been spotted and you now know where he is, he will stop shooting you and run away. The second way to perform the 360GÇÖ is to run all the way around an object and come to a stop where you were being shot at before. This should cause confusion as they may think you are someone else.
-Running away: This is another major key to panicking. Here are a few tips to properly panic and run away. Make sure to depress the crouch button before attempting to run. Your lower center of gravity and reduced hit box should make you go faster and be more survivable. The second is running backwards, this is the fastest and safest way to run. The destination should always be chosen based upon the following criteria. Your destination should always be a dead end. Your destination should always have a full squad of red dots inhabiting it (DonGÇÖt worry, you will be running backwards, if you canGÇÖt see them they canGÇÖt see you.) Always make sure to jump as you are running this shows you are experienced at panicking.
-Shooting: Alright there is only one way to panic fire a weapon. Do not use the aim function, this will hamper your ability to spray and pray. Always make sure to adjust your aim up and down, never left to right. Make sure to hold the trigger down until you have used your full clip. I mean always, regardless of circumstance. Doing this will exponentially increase you damage output. It is important to note that firing from cover can decrease accuracy, and expose you to return fire.
-Being revived: Please see the section under getting shot at. I would also like to add a few points to this section. When you are waiting to be revived make sure to describe you location as vaguely as possible, the more places they check the more likely you are to be found. Secondly if there is an enemy presence near you, do not tell the medic, as medics are a skittish folk they may not revive you and save your precious militia drop suit at the expense of their own proto gear. If you are killed upon being revived please see the entry on verbal expression.
Please remember there are many ways to panic, much of which is not described above. Remember practice makes perfect, never think or form your own opinions. Soon you will be the perfect Blueberry, an AR wielding panic machine.
In the next chapter we will discuss how to properly place your tears into mail format and send it to that hacking asshat.
-Delta