OtaconPliskin
Space Hookers In Time
1
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Posted - 2013.02.26 02:29:00 -
[1] - Quote
Down on your luck? Lost in the star system with nothing but a strange itch between your legs? Working at a strip club to "pay off your student loans" (*******)?
My name is OtaconPliskin, and I have absolutely no worthwhile qualifications to be in charge of anything! I awoke inside some piece of crap, low-rent, S&M dungeon looking ****-poor excuse for what I'm told is my new home with a syringe in my arm and absolutely no memories of how to take off this damned armor! Upon wandering outside I was merrily greeted by men trying to what I can only assume is take my pudding in a Shawshank Redemption-esque ****!
Staring down the barrel of what I could only assume was about to be what I've been told "separates the boys from the men", and
I certainly mean 'separate' in its most literal form; I suddenly realized my calling.
So, after begging for this man in front of me not to force me to be the Eve to his "New Eden"; coupled by the extreme confusion he faced when we both realized that neither one of us could even hope to find any sort of orifice (luckily it's not the amnesia that's stopping me from taking this damned thing off, and also quite refreshing to know I'm not the only one). We set aside our differences and he shot me in the face.
Crumpled in a pile of my own blood, vomit, tears, and general dismay--I was relieved to see that the top of my visor was exclaiming to me that a comrade with the capability of healing me was very nearby! Choking through the tears, and feeling quite uncomfortable with a very hot steaming pile of "I'm about to die" excrement in a suit that I at this point in my life knew I could not take off (which in and of itself disturbed me almost as much as my impending death), I was able to breathe a sigh of relief.
So--After 30 seconds or so of watching my savior stand over me, fuddling around with what I can only assume is the most complicated piece of medical machinery that modern technology could create, I keeled over and died.
Due to what I can only assume is some sort of sick masochistic side that I'm either too embarrassed to admit to, or too repressed for me to realize its existence; I repeated this process for approximately 19 hours, with a few futile attempts to "alleviate" my crippling loneliness in the solitude of my room (Seriously, at least give me a damn zipper on this damn thing!).....
I managed to earn enough money to make what I will freely admit is a ****-poor excuse for what the people I've been encountering seem to be calling a 'Corporation'.
Which comes to the real point of why I'm here, introducing myself to you men-among-men, as well as any other compliments I can send your way to shield you from my complete and utter incompetence;
Being the CEO of a corporation of yourself, and only yourself becomes quite boring; and the blood,sweat, and potential **** that goes into earning the money to forge such a masterfully pointless one-man 'Corporation', becomes quite boring.
Which is why I invite every man, woman, and child to hop onto the corporation search, and do a little bit of researchin' (and by little, I mean our faction description is a pretty shoddily put together sentence) and search for
"Space Hookers in Time"
It's been a pleasure, my name is OtaconPliskin and we'll be waiting to throw down a few beers, pretend we're heroes and shoot guns aimlessly at our foes with whoever is willing to join us! |
OtaconPliskin
Space Hookers In Time
4
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Posted - 2013.02.28 18:30:00 -
[4] - Quote
Valencia Ishtar wrote:You seem pretty funny. Have you gotten people to join your corp? If you have, we should create an alliance. If you haven't, you should join my corp. I can help you recover the money you spent on your corp and make you my director. Message me online to talk more about this. My PSN is Vgamerchick.
As of right now, my corp consists of me and 2 of my army buddies; so--We're looking to boost our numbers, with the end-game being a corporation that has people actively online at varying times as opposed to generally the same time every day. I sent you a line over PSN though, and most certainly like the idea of having an allegiance, if not now due to our very small size, than most certainly in the future when we get on our feet :).
On a side note:
This olive-branch of friendship is extended to anyone who wishes to accept it, by nature of mercenary work; having enemies for no particular reason makes no sense whatsoever. So, the more friends, associates, fans, stalkers, and smooth talking drug dealers that we have on our side or at least tolerating my corporation..the better. :) |