KingBabar
Seraphim Initiative.
CRONOS.
442
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Posted - 2012.12.17 23:20:00 -
[1] - Quote
Remember people, react entusiasthickly to the Q-cards but dont over do it.
Were live in 5, 4, 3, 2, ,
Hi and welcome to this first, Top ten cheezy ways to get the upper hand this build award show!
Applause!!!
The top secret jury is made up of seasoned MAG and general FPS veterans. We have a corp leader (no not Sha), poeople with skill, every member of the jury has played Dust beta since at least 2 weeks past launch.
OOOOH
We start off with 99.4% off all snipers, you are rubbish and nobody likes you. You should hang your head in shame, and leave your home and rethink your life. Now that the obvious is out of the way we move quickly to number nine,
Short applause.
The fatsuit, AR, KB mouse combo. The jury is split in this issue, since more than half the jury dont have the slightest technical insight in how the KBM works, and the rest merely have some experience we put it this low. The fact that combo AR and fatsuit is extremely badass in the right hands and its lack of equipment slot for more protection tradeoff tipped the scale for including it. The jury would like to add that this combo doesnt make you good, if your good in it, youll probably be good in an asault suit too.
MMM-HMMM
At eight position we had to include the militia shotgun, scout, dampener combo. A single blasts capcity to trash a 250 K isk protosuit while being a fast agile hard to hit kangaroo, combined with the fact that all the people we collectively respect say when asked what fitting theyre running if currently in one - Im a shotty scout now, I know, I just had to be that guy, chuckle chuckle.
Laughter!!!
At seventh we have the kitten Tankers. Sitting on ES hill all round long. It seems like 90% off tankers in pub games have invested in a tank just to farm easy kills, prefferably from a great distance. It strikes us as odd that we see so many tanks called in on the dominating side, and relatively few on the apparant loosing side. If youre not going to use your tank to try and tip the scales in a hard battle, whats the point we wonder. When people also as mentioned bring in tanks in a redline or a very dominating game just to maximize the stomping the already properly stomped, youre just low.
YEEAAAH!!! -- WOOT WOOT WOOT
At nr six we have the prenerf gunships. You would think that after 87 rounds of scores varying from 12-0 to 64-0 people would get bored and found something more challenging, but no.
BOOOOO!
And now we have a special guest for you today, take it away....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIRGNzVIz6Y
APPLAUSE
We enter the top 5s. Drving around in a LAV with a HMG, driving up close to people , jumping out, spraying and driving off, rinse and repeat the entire game. We mean come on, its just too easy. We see how the game is set up for it and people can always use AV. Still, with the current engine sound and sneakiness of the LAVs its really hard to prevent them suddenly appearing short of camping.
APPLAUSE
At number 4 we have the poor guys that use modded controllers for their TAC ARs. Dropping everything in less than a second with the AR with the most zoom, damage, and range,they even dont have any recoil. Several members of the jury have commentet that this is a receeding issue as there are less active kittens on the field, they can however not back this assumtion up with any data.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
And at a surprisingly low third place we have the super redline snipers. These are the guys that start any batlle by going as far off as possible and stay stationary the whole game. They even go so far as to never even intend to move beyond their own redline, they plant the plugs and stay there. What great contributor they are for making the game more fun and involving for all. If you wanna snipe then fine, but man up, move up, cover objectives and stuff man!
STANDING APPLAUSE!!!
(The jury oversight comitee has made a comment about this not being at nr 1. Theyve let it slide since its ^very old news^)
Close but no cigar for the guys going for roadkills only, special thanks to the guys that keep driving close to enemies, trying to run over them at low speeds, they never succeed and people get stuck dodging a LAV for some time instead of playing properly.
APPLAUSE!
And the winner is..... drumrolll.....
another drumroll....
Its peaking!!
CCP for making 20% of the rounds have more than 5 players in them, and in 90% of them you end up with one team with 3-4 corp squads and one team with only randoms.
LAUGHTER, RESIGNED.
FADE OUT.
Thanks, youve been a wonderful audience! |