Doctor Vyzion
Bojo's School of the Trades
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Posted - 2013.03.10 13:58:00 -
[2] - Quote
Hi, I'm Doctor Vyzion.
I'm just a typical merc, searching for a life of glory and riches. But sadly, this was not to be my destiny.
I spent years drinking in space stations, gallon after pint after barrel of quafe. My thirst for the stuff was insatiable.
Every time I tried to pull myself out of the vicious cycle, my applications to mining corporations and giant intergalactic enterprises were rebuffed. They simply didn't need a mercenary, a lone wolf, a lost soldier.
I grew fat. Eventually, I wore heavy suits just to protect myself from falling over and damaging myself.
One day, a few weeks ago, walking up a great mountain called Manus Peak, watching a battle below but without the heart to join in, it struck me.
A railgun round to the face. I woke up in a clone vat and fell out, gasping, goo pouring off me. Disgusting. I looked at the state of my body and grimaced. I donned my suit. Extra large, type-1 suit. I gazed at my glowing eyes in the mirror of my dirty merc quarters, and sighed.
Suddenly, out of no where, an owl flew though the window and dropped a letter on my lap. I looked up, confused and excited, but the owl was gone. Questions raced through my mind as I ripped open the parchment. Was that an owl that could fly through space? Was that actually an owl, or my imagination? I'm hungry... Am I going to Hogwarts?!,?
Alas, Hogwarts would also remain separate from my destiny. The letter contained 5 letters. No, not 5 other letters, silly. Alphabetical letters.
They spelled: BSoTT.
What I found: a small school led by one Bojo. Doubtful, I signed up, believing in the ghost owl. I still adamantly believe Dumbledore sent it. He is wise, that one.
My doubts turned out to be unfounded. The instant I joined, I was welcomed with open arms. ISK poured into my wallet from all sorts of bodily stores Bojo has managed to install on his scout suit, and he saw the potential that no one else saw in me. The potential to teach.
I'm now a teacher, being paid 1million ISK just for having fun, and my students love me because I don't actually know how to teach, so I'm like that fat Physical Education teacher that just lets the class play dodgeball all day.
BSoTT saved me from the grip of quafe and misery. Let it change your life today!
Disclaimer: some of the above information MAY be fictional. |