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Gemini Reynolds
Sanmatar Kelkoons
Minmatar Republic
69
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Posted - 2012.11.20 17:58:00 -
[1] - Quote
This is it.
If you're looking to roll in whatever gear you like, play however you will, shoot faces and drink till you cannot see straight? Welcome aboard!
The entire purpose of the Drunken Warriors is to have fun. That's all, just fun. However the hell you happen to do so. All we seek is cool people to roam across the face of planets to pillage and burn and not remember doing so the next day. Think of it as a massive, endless pub-crawl across New Eden, then turning around and doing it again because we forgot that we've already done it!
Now now, I can hear you asking "Well, who's going to hire a merc corp full of people that can't shoot straight because they're seeing double?" The answer is..Who needs to shoot when you've got alcohol and high explosives!?
It doesn't matter what role you want to do, how silly your build, how odd your tactics or how high your BAC, we welcome all comers.
Naturally, of course, we do have a preference for those with mics because, let's face it...Drunken karaoke isn't any fun if no one can hear you.
Will we work to conquer planets? Naturally. The liquor's gotta come from somewhere, after all.
How about the e-sports? Sure. Who doesn't love a good game and a brew?
Will any of this matter? Hell no. Not on any sort of serious bent because this is still a game.
So why not grab a stool at the bar, pour yourself a tasty beverage, then blow up the planet for the hell of it? Join the Drunken Warriors, before we decide to raid your liquor cabinet.
Drunken Warriors |
Gemini Reynolds
Sanmatar Kelkoons
Minmatar Republic
69
|
Posted - 2012.11.21 14:17:00 -
[2] - Quote
Applications are still open and while I get to those, here's a list for you to enjoy:
Ways to keep a healthy level of insanity:
1) At lunch, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down
2) Page yourself over a PA without changing your voice
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, reply with "Do you want fries with that?"
4) Put your waste paper basket on your desk and label it "In"
5) Swap the coffee at work for decaf. After three weeks, when everyone is over their caffiene addiction, switch it to espresso.
6) In the memo field of all your checks, write "For sexual favors"
7) Finish all of your sentences with "In accordance with the prophesy"
8) Don't use punctuation
10) Skip instead of walking
11) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically no matter the answer.
12) At the drive through, specify that your order is 'to-go'
13) Sing along to techno at the club, or loudly during an opera
14) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme
15) Put up mosquito netting around your desk and play jungle sounds on loop
16) Tell friends your 'not in the mood' to go to their party...five days before it's time.
17) Tell people to address you by your wrestling name "Rock Hard"
18) When you withdraw money from an ATM, jump up and down and scream "I Won! I Won!"
19) When leaving the zoo, run and scream "RUN! They're loose!"
20) Tell your children over dinner "Unfortunately, due to the declining economy, we're going to have to let one of you go."
21) Stop obsessing about the missing 9, I found it here.
22) Send in your applications! |
Gemini Reynolds
Sanmatar Kelkoons
Minmatar Republic
69
|
Posted - 2012.12.04 00:48:00 -
[3] - Quote
Reaction to Snakes
GÇó Civilian: Runs away from the snake screaming.
GÇó Paratrooper: Lands on and kills the snake.
GÇó Armor: runs over snake, giggles, and looks for more snakes.
GÇó Infantry: "Look, a putty cat. Come 'ere kitty....Ouch! Hey, that's not a putty tat."
GÇó Army Aviation: Has GPS grid to snake. Can't find snake. Back to base for crew rest and the club and some sort of drink called "The Snake."
GÇó Ranger: Plays with the snake, then eats it.
GÇó 2nd Ranger: Assaults the snake's home and secures it for use by friendly snakes.
GÇó MI: analyzes all available intelligence and national asset input on the reptilian situation; reports sighting of Godzilla to National Command Authority.
GÇó JAG: Advises the snake on the rules of engagement and the law of war as it pertains to the snake and its defensive posture.
GÇó Quartermaster: Captures snake and applies a National Stock Number (NSN) to it. Implements a Found On Installation (FOI) procedure and picks up snake on property book. Has company commander sign hand receipt for "Snake, Green, One Each," as non-expendable unit property.
GÇó Chemical Corps: Starts to gas the little booger, but then realizes that there is an M-18, A-2 Respirator especially made for snakes, remembers the Chemical Corps Motto, "UTRWBAG" (Up Their Rear With Bugs and Gas), and conducts three experiments on it that have been strictly prohibited by the Clinton Treaty of 1999.
GÇó Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition, several grenades and calls for naval gunfire in a failed attempt to kill the snake. The snake bites the SEAL then retreats to safety.
GÇó Artillery: Kills snake, but in the process kills several hundred civilians with a massive TOT with three FA BDEs in support. Mission is considered a success and all participants (cooks, mechanics, clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.
GÇó Marine Recon: Follows the snake and gets lost.
GÇó Pathfinder: Guides the snake elsewhere.
GÇó AF Fighter Pilot: Mis-identifies the snake as a Russian HIND helicopter and engages it with missiles. Crew chief paints a snake on airplane.
GÇó AF Pararescue: Wounds the snake in first encounter, then feverishly works to save the snake's life.
GÇó MSOAG: Makes contact with the snake, builds rapport, wins its heart and mind, then trains it to kill other snakes. |
Gemini Reynolds
Sanmatar Kelkoons
Minmatar Republic
69
|
Posted - 2012.12.08 00:33:00 -
[4] - Quote
Yep. Still recruiting. Also some reasons why beer is better than religion:
10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
6. When you have a Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.
4. You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer.
3. There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a Beer.
1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop. |
Gemini Reynolds
Sanmatar Kelkoons
Minmatar Republic
69
|
Posted - 2012.12.09 22:31:00 -
[5] - Quote
Always. |
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