Shoulder mounted peanut butter cannon

Trolling with style

Or actually engaging in the topic at hand, one or the other

Helicopter hat Beanie that lets you put it on your head and zoom around the map. Impervious to being locked on by swarms.

Proto variants allow entry into space. If you carry AV fits, you are not lockable by EVE players, in cloaked mode all the time, and can solo a Titan with a forge gun. The downside to this advanced beanie hat tech is that it costs an exorbitant amount of waiting in the mail for your cereal box tops to go through and have your free promotional propeller hat be sent in the mail. Or you can just go to Jita and pick it up yourself.

Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich in one hand .. A baseball bat in the other

Peanut Butter Jelly Time... OH YEAH!

A ridable T-Rex (bio-LAV?!) with mounted railguns \o/

Shotgun minigun with unlimited ammo that fires "genetic material" so powerful, that anyone who is hit becomes pregnant, regardless of gender.

Fires like a shotgun HMG with unlimited range, and low spread.

When aiming down sight, the gun is in secondary fire. Secondary fire has more zoom and accuracy than all sniper rifles. In secondary fire, the "genetic material bullet" is so so large that its 6 times the length and circumference of a large missile.

A single "genetic material" bullet hitting is enough to destroy a proto HAV.

Shots travel through solid objects, and fly off indefinitely until they hit something. So missed shots have the potential to destroy EVE ships that cross its path, even many years from now.

When a player is defeated, and laying on the floor waiting for a medic, he becomes pregnant. When he suicides/dies, 2 other copies of me burst out from his corpse, each carrying a shotgun minigun to continue the cycle.

This gun is a BPO, and only for me.

Not that unreasonable.

*Fires* VVVVVVVVVVVRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! *splat splat splat splat splat*

Shooting a Scout and my bullets hit!!

These bath-salts have my creativity bursting.

Proto version: rick roll in g major

"We gonna rip you up, we gonna tear you down, we gonna drag you down, to Hades"

-The Banana Skin


Carried in the equipment slot, you can drop it behind you or throw it forward like a grenade. If a vehicle steps over it, it will stop completely and spin out of control for 3 seconds.

If infantry steps over a banana skin, they will slip and fall to the floor, unable to move until they get up 3 seconds later. Heavies will be unable to get up by themselves until a logi bro comes to help them.

Prototype version increases the number of bananas up to 3. They will follow the player in a line behind him, until they are used. If anyone trying to stab the player in the back steps over the line of banana skins, they will slip and fall to the ground like described above.

A suitable cartoonish sound effect should be developed. Previous license from Nintendo may be required to use the Banana Skin.




- The Thunderbolt:

A 1 use item to be carried in the equipment slot, when used it shrinks all the vehicles in the match to a tenth of their original size, thus increasing their cute factor by ten!!!. The sound effects of said vehicles will be changed to reflect this improved cute status.

However, all that awesome cuteness has a price, which is that all those vehicles stats (shield, armor, speed, damage, etc..) will also be reduced to a tenth of their original amount.

Also, due to their tiny size, the new cute vehicles can be crushed and destroyed by infantry players, friend or foe, that happen to accidentally step over them.

All in all, a small price to pay for having the entire map full of cute tanks, lav and dropships, to be sure!!!

Previous license from Nintendo may be required to use the Thunderbolt.





- The I.W.I. (I Wish I Was him.)

Again, another 1 use item to be carried in the equipment slot, when you use this item, it instantly swaps the location you and the player with the best score in your team are ocupying at that moment.


Have you ever turn a corner and found 4 heavies waiting for you? Fear not, use the IWI, and exchange your place with the best player of your team. That will show those heavies!!!


Your dropship is going out of control and you are sure is going to be destroyed? Use the IWI! The expert hands of your best player will have no trouble saving that dropship.


Your best player is lost and cannot find the objectives or the hotspots were you have been uselessly dying just because you are not good enough? Use the IWI! Your best player will be forever thankful that you saved him the walk to the real action!



The prototype version should work passively and activate by itself whenever your armor got below 5%. Don't feel bad, remember that what seems a hopeless situation for you, is actually a piece of cake for someone who possess the extraordinary skills to be a number 1 in the score boards.

Not my words, someone's on YouTube

I'm going to expand on the shrinking idea, with a weapon:

LO7 Shrink Gun (1,000,000,000 ISK)

L Slot
CPU: 200
PG: 70

Direct Damage: 0.0 HP
Splash Damage: 0.0 HP
Blast Radius: 5.1 m
Clip Size: 1
Max. Ammo: 1
Rate of Fire: 1.0 RPM
Reload Time: 40.0 s
Meta Level: 11

The LO7 Shrink Ray uses previously undisclosed Gallentean technology originally intended for use in industrial shipping. Cargo would have been wrapped in a metallic alloy specifically created to work with the shrinking beam and reduced to approximately 1/3.6th the original size. However, the alloy in use to hopefully keep the contents safe would, more often than not, become permanently fused to the cargo. This was a minor issue compared to the fact that there was, and is, still no confirmed way of reversing the shrinking process.

Due to the fact cargo could not be returned to it's original form, the project was ultimately put on hold for more immediate concerns. The project became mostly forgotten after much time and would have stayed as such if not for a fluke structural fire. The shrinking technology then gained new interest in it's application as a weapon.

Utilizing the metallic alloy in pairing with electromagnetic containment, the emitted high energy point pellet could be made into a ballistic round. The actual process for shrinking enemy soldiers is completely handled within the round, the firearm itself is mainly used as a launching device for the cartridge. Because of the extreme rarity of the metallic alloy and the high energy consumption to generate shrinking pellets most of the weapons price is in it's ammunition. Another added side effect is that this weapon cannot be resupplied by nanohives nor supply depots.







Note: In game I'd say anyone who has been shrunk would be able to fire their tiny weapon and cause maybe 1.0 HP of direct damage. If anyone gets close to a shrunk player they would instantly kill them by walk damage.

Also the animation would be 40 seconds of trying to figure out how to put the cartridge into the gun, for added laughs.

Shoop Da Whoop turret for the HAV. With infinite damage, it literally kills the universe when you fire it, crashing the server and almost bankrupting CCP as angry players cancel their subs. The power from the blast interferes wth the wormhole in the EVE gate, somehow reversing it and establishing a connection back to the Milky Way. Players are then free to return to Earth. However, by pure chance, the USNC and Covenent are fighting at that time, and the Flood has been introduced.

Many lulz can be earned by covertly orbital bombarding Halo Reach matches on Xbox. With no Skyfire battery, many Halo players will be OHK'd from the sky out of nowhere. This will prompt MS to start an internal server security sweep, where they will find Goonswarm warping in en masse and hacking their databases to steal credit card numbers and buy plexes. When MS demands CCP closes the EVE gate to MS servers on the EVEO forums, trolls respond overwhelmingly "Can I haz ur stuffz?"

Microsoft ragequits and runs away to cry, eventually going out of business. Then, the universe spontaneously implodes. The end.

Boobs.

OH DEAR LAWD MY IDEA HAS COME TRUE. Thank you tom cruise!

I can post dots too, want to see?

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