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Major 0nslaught
341
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Posted - 2017.03.11 08:18:00 -
[1] - Quote
I hooked up and turned my PS3 on just now. I have no clue what compelled me to do this. But i did.
So i log in, and play around the HUD. And i hover over DUST 514 (Yes, i have not deleted it, fuk me). Looking at the crazy Caldari Scout weilding a Combat Rifle, and wondering if CCP played the game with that crazy combo, the soft ambient music playing in the background, oh the excruciating nostalgia. So, i click the X button and it fades to black.
It starts up like always, the playstation move instructions burning on the screen, telling me things i already know and don't care about. Then it fades, CCP's logo pops up. Aight, cool beans. But then, something happens. The Immortal trailer plays. That beautiful trailer, beta trailer still better. Back when i played, i would skip it. But not this time. I let that ****** play. I enjoy every moment like i was but a baby watching it's first boob.
Since the shutdown, what normally would pop up next would be the Unable to Connect screen. And rightfully so, since DUST is offline. But, it doesn't show. Instead, the EULA shows. The dreaded EULA that's longer than my 10" epeen. I click X, and the mercenary screen pops up. I'm like "wtf is going on here? DUST is dead, wtf CCP, don't play me like this *****" so i click on VAHZZ and the loading screen plays.
So at this moment, i am panicking. I am panicking like VAHZZ when he sees a taco. I mean, who wouldn't freak out like a school girl every time they see a taco. And i mean every time guys, this man is a weirdo. But anyway, as the loading screen fades, i am brought into the Gallentaen Mercenary Quarter. I am in shock. This game is supposed to be shutdown, and here i am, in my Bravo Company Scout skivvies standing around a coffee table with the damn infomercialed TV playing brightly in the middle of my fuckin Merc Quarter, and i am pissed. These lime stained walls are supposed to be gone, they are supposed to be locked up in the abyss with no way of coming back. So why am i here? Why are these fuckin walls that caused me so much suffering back? Why was i compelled to start up DUST? What is this weird fuzzy feeling in my tender regions? I blame Pokey, that bastard and his stupid optimism.
So i decided to walk around, and it played just like it used to. The weird walking around table visual, the slow as backwalk, nudging against walls etc. After a while of walking....like a long time, longer than i care to admit, after that, i hit the HUD. I looked at all my skills and my SP, which is oddly still passively going. We are gaining SP still? That's weird.
As i look through my stats, the screen glitches somewhat, barely noticeable, it was like a crack across the screen on my HUD. I back out, and try to go into a battle. I waited 5 minutes...yea, 5 minutes, I'm that fuckin bored. After that eternal nightmare, i booted out...and...the walls of the MQ, looked different. And the Battle Finder was still going...no matter what i tried. The walls, they started to bleed. The TV was glitched bad, the screens were giving the black version of white noise. I saw...faces in the screens. I heard, whispers, everywhere. The number 514 was carving into the walls by the disgusting sound of smearing sht on walls. I kept hearing the word "VAHZZ" being said, improperly mind you. Even with all this going, the voices saying my name wrong is what peeved me.
Soon, the Battle Finder started to count down from 1:00. I was weirded out, but i also found this funny. Rattati was always the trickster, Frame was always the buttface. So i went along. As the counter counted down at being countful and count, i took the time to scratch my butt.
As soon as the clock hit 00:00 the screen went black. Then it went to the loading screen, showing an MCC, i was like damn more people found out the game is back? You desperate fucbois. After what seemed like an eternity, i was shoved into the PC waiting lobby. The walls were dripping with blood, Sansha's logo ripped the banners hanging from up on the second floor. The planet table was red and moving frantically, the Member Screen showed me and two other people on the other side. Hilmar and Rogue.
I was straight pissed. Those freaky alien genotypes brought the game back to spite us? I was ready to kick some aaaaaaasss! So as i was thrust into the battle, and activating my inertia, i landed on the planet.
Now, i took pride in one thing about this game: I knew every single map, every nook, every cranny, every inch of every single map, i labbed the **** out of this game back in the day and even when it was dying. I knew every map. Except this map. This map was new. It ALMOST looked like Acid Lake, but that damn map was gone in beta. It also had what looked to be the wreckage of Caldari Prime. This map baffled me, I've never seen it before. It looked amazing though, so much beauty. I could see streams of biomass beside me, i could hear the ghoulish cries of all those biomassed mercenaries cascading beside me.
So i ran around, trying to make sense of all this. My small scout body carved through that map like lightning. I scoured it, admiring it, taking in it's beauty, but still remembering Hilmar and Rogue on the Killboard. I looked for them, but this map was much bigger than the maps of DUST. It was weird and beautiful. I approached the lake of biomass in the center of the map. The green ominous glow and dust filled winds filled the screen and speakers. In the middle of that lake, was a patch of land, connected by a long, narrow peninsula to the land. In that patch of earth, stood two figures. Rogue and Hilmar. One in a blood stained Caldari Assault, and the other in a battle worn Amarr Sentinel. They stared me down. And i returned the favor. As i hit the D-Pad, i saw the option to change fittings. And only one fitting was outlined. The Vahzenchist. My gdlk GalAss with Quad Armor Rep and Rep Armor that I can't think of the name(Ferroscale?) with AR.
So I equipped it.
Life is like a box of Proto Locust grenades. You never know what random red berry you're gonna get.
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Major 0nslaught
341
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Posted - 2017.03.11 08:37:00 -
[2] - Quote
All three of us was on a stand off. Rogue and Hilmar were like statues, their gaze never strayed off of me. And i returned the favor.
It went on like this for a while, i let them admire the person that burned their company for years. The most toxic individual in New Eden, face to face with the highest of the monarchy. I wasn't just some blueberry, or PC tryhard imp, or some no neck mexican, no, i was the person that caused them to get so drunk they would marry a table.
As i large OB tore the heavens asunder and crashed down violently near us, i engaged and ran at them. Rogue in his CalAss followed suit, and Hilmar stayed, as if commanding rogue to take care of that little cockroach. My bullets bled through the air, his agile body ducking and dodging each one and returning fire as i did the same. Despite what people thought, mainly zor, i was pretty damn good at the game when i actually cared to be. When I wasn't bored and doing things for ***** and giggles, i was serious and actually owning the battlefield that i knew every inch of.
As the battle between races raged, i finally shot him in the ass. He stopped and he looked at me sideways and all i could do was laugh. It freakin shot him in the ass cheek. Come on that is funny! IN THE ASS CHEEK! He shot me in the d1ck. Why? That is so uncalled for. So, he started to run away, but I wasn't having that. I shot him in the back of the head, and his shields went to zero. That is so tough ass shields i thought. I started firing, and firing, trying to keep up my shield pressure as he kept running. Before i could react, hilmar came up out of nowhere, firing his hulking HMG like a vahzz. I seriously thought i was fighting myself the way he was skating around and firing.
So i ran towards the wreckage. Both of them chasing me and firing. How i was surviving I don't know, but i ducked and dodged the bullets, swerving under every obstacle to get to safety.
As i got to the inside of the wreckage, i try to find hallways of some sort, so that i can corner them. But nothing. Only walls of burning iron.
Before i could react, they are infront of me, pointing their guns right at my chest. Their helmets creak open as their eyes burn infront of me,
"Any last words, Vahzz?" Hilmar said with a giant smirk on his face.
"Get bent, you cheeky d1ck waffle" I replied with a vulgar gesture of the pelvis
His smirk turned sour as they unleashed bullet after bullet, unloading their chamber like i was against an entire firing squad.
I collapse. My body spasming, and fading as i gasp for air. I sit there on my bed, looking at the screen in disbelief.
"I finally squashed you, you embryonic cist" Hilmar sneered down at me with disgust, spitting on my fading nanitic corpse.
"I...still have...a legion..,of alts...you salad tosser..." My body fades as a look of absolute terror strikes across both of their faces.
Because they know. You can not truly kill a roach, without absolutely abolishing it.
Know taco. Know DUST. Know 514.
One Universe//One Vahzz
Life is like a box of Proto Locust grenades. You never know what random red berry you're gonna get.
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TOOMANY NAMES ALREADYTAKEn
Going for the gold
3499
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Posted - 2017.03.11 08:39:00 -
[3] - Quote
*gets excited*
*reads on*
IT'S YOUR DREAM, OMFG
I got Vahzzled yet again.
#NekosForLife (Gê¬G¬+GÇ+GÇ+G¬+)GèâGöüGÿån+ƒ.*
It seems I have developed stalkeritis.
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Major 0nslaught
341
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Posted - 2017.03.11 08:43:00 -
[4] - Quote
TooMany Names AlreadyTaken wrote:*gets excited*
*reads on*
IT'S YOUR DREAM, OMFG
I got Vahzzled yet again.
VAHZZLE DAZZLE
I did just turn on my PS3 though, and it was the Offline screen lmao
I am making a DUST creepy pasta
Life is like a box of Proto Locust grenades. You never know what random red berry you're gonna get.
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Major 0nslaught
341
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Posted - 2017.03.11 08:59:00 -
[5] - Quote
This was all inspired by the thread. "THE FUTURE OF DUST" and all that bullshit,
Life is like a box of Proto Locust grenades. You never know what random red berry you're gonna get.
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The Noob Destroyer
1609
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Posted - 2017.04.13 21:03:00 -
[6] - Quote
O N E U N I V E R S E / / O N E V A H Z Z
The Community; One big family, sometimes dysfunctional.
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TooMany Names AlreadyTaken
Going for the gold
4207
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Posted - 2017.04.13 21:51:00 -
[7] - Quote
The Noob Destroyer wrote:O N E U N I V E R S E / / O N E V A H Z Z
Oh heavens no... 
#NekosForLife GÄ¥GùÑGû¦GÇ+GÇ+GùÇGùñGÄá
When you think about it, no matter how weird it seems at first, nekos are like upgraded humans
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The Noob Destroyer
1609
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Posted - 2017.04.13 22:39:00 -
[8] - Quote
TooMany Names AlreadyTaken wrote:The Noob Destroyer wrote:O N E U N I V E R S E / / O N E V A H Z Z
Oh heavens no...
T H E R E C A N B E O N L Y O N E
The Community; One big family, sometimes dysfunctional.
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TooMany Names AlreadyTaken
Going for the gold
4209
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Posted - 2017.04.13 22:41:00 -
[9] - Quote
The Noob Destroyer wrote:TooMany Names AlreadyTaken wrote:The Noob Destroyer wrote:O N E U N I V E R S E / / O N E V A H Z Z
Oh heavens no... T H E R E C A N B E O N L Y O N E
T O O M A N Y N A M E S A L R E A D Y T A K E N H A S H T A G N E K O S F O R L I F E.
#NekosForLife GÄ¥GùÑGû¦GÇ+GÇ+GùÇGùñGÄá
When you think about it, no matter how weird it seems at first, nekos are like upgraded humans
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DeadlyAztec11
10100
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Posted - 2017.04.14 06:41:00 -
[10] - Quote
Major 0nslaught wrote:
I am making a DUST creepy pasta
We are the pasta. You're just another noodle.
Put your flags up in the sky.
And wave them side to side.
Show the world where you're from.
Show the world we are one.
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The Noob Destroyer
1611
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Posted - 2017.04.14 06:55:00 -
[11] - Quote
DeadlyAztec11 wrote:Major 0nslaught wrote:
I am making a DUST creepy pasta
We are the pasta. You're just another noodle.
He must be a tiny noodle
The Community; One big family, sometimes dysfunctional.
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Moorian Flav
608
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Posted - 2017.04.14 13:48:00 -
[12] - Quote
I never deleted DUST but my PS3 eventually gave out (during a disc movie of all things). So for me, there is no looking back.
I don't troll; I tell the truth.
I'm also known as "The ANTI-Propaganda Machine".
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TooMany Names AlreadyTaken
Going for the gold
4212
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Posted - 2017.04.14 13:49:00 -
[13] - Quote
DeadlyAztec11 wrote:Major 0nslaught wrote:
I am making a DUST creepy pasta
We are the pasta. You're just another noodle.
We are the pasta, he is a creep. 
#NekosForLife GÄ¥GùÑGû¦GÇ+GÇ+GùÇGùñGÄá
When you think about it, no matter how weird it seems at first, nekos are like upgraded humans
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BO0OMSLANG
Rebels New Republic
86
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Posted - 2017.04.14 14:58:00 -
[14] - Quote
Woo hoo ... Dust is back, I cant wait to get off work, get home and grind out some kills for hours on end. Oh what tons of fun it will be ... I have been waiting for this forever !!!! Oh crap i just remembered i sold my ps3 ... damnit. i guess i will go buy another one so I can download Dust and get started right away !!! As soon as i get back to reality I will proceed to the same daily bs routine that does not involve Dust 514 and maybe have some spaghetti ... mmmmm spaghetti !!!
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The Noob Destroyer
1611
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Posted - 2017.04.14 19:48:00 -
[15] - Quote
BO0OMSLANG wrote:Woo hoo ... Dust is back, I cant wait to get off work, get home and grind out some kills for hours on end. Oh what tons of fun it will be ... I have been waiting for this forever !!!! Oh crap i just remembered i sold my ps3 ... damnit. i guess i will go buy another one so I can download Dust and get started right away !!! As soon as i get back to reality I will proceed to the same daily bs routine that does not involve Dust 514 and maybe have some spaghetti ... mmmmm spaghetti !!!
You are a bitter little fuccboi aren't you?
The Community; One big family, sometimes dysfunctional.
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One Eyed King
Nos Nothi
17064
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Posted - 2017.04.14 20:12:00 -
[16] - Quote
TooMany Names AlreadyTaken wrote:*gets excited*
*reads on*
IT'S YOUR DREAM, OMFG
I got Vahzzled yet again.
Why do you even read his threads? The minute I saw who made the thread, I knew I wasn't going to read it.
Although I was right in figuring that someone would fall for it, and that I might find that somewhat entertaining.
Former CEO of the Land of the BIind.
Any double entendre is unintended I assure you.
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TooMany Names AlreadyTaken
Going for the gold
4213
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Posted - 2017.04.14 20:37:00 -
[17] - Quote
One Eyed King wrote:TooMany Names AlreadyTaken wrote:*gets excited*
*reads on*
IT'S YOUR DREAM, OMFG
I got Vahzzled yet again. Why do you even read his threads? The minute I saw who made the thread, I knew I wasn't going to read it. Although I was right in figuring that someone would fall for it, and that I might find that somewhat entertaining.
It's not me being gullible, it's being overly optimistic and extremely hopeful.
Every part of my body wishes for Dust to return...it's an addiction I can't satisfy anymore.
#NekosForLife GÄ¥GùÑGû¦GÇ+GÇ+GùÇGùñGÄá
When you think about it, no matter how weird it seems at first, nekos are like upgraded humans
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One Eyed King
Nos Nothi
17064
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Posted - 2017.04.14 22:53:00 -
[18] - Quote
If a beloved dog died, and someone told you it came back to life, would you believe them just because you really loved your dog?
Former CEO of the Land of the BIind.
Any double entendre is unintended I assure you.
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TooMany Names AlreadyTaken
Going for the gold
4216
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Posted - 2017.04.14 23:06:00 -
[19] - Quote
One Eyed King wrote:If a beloved dog died, and someone told you it came back to life, would you believe them just because you really loved your dog?
Living things cannot be brought back to life, games can. I can tell the difference, thankfully, so I wouldn't believe them.
How dare you mention "beloved" dogs while talking to me? I'm obviously a cat person.
#NekosForLife GÄ¥GùÑGû¦GÇ+GÇ+GùÇGùñGÄá
When you think about it, no matter how weird it seems at first, nekos are like upgraded humans
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One Eyed King
Nos Nothi
17064
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Posted - 2017.04.14 23:25:00 -
[20] - Quote
TooMany Names AlreadyTaken wrote:One Eyed King wrote:If a beloved dog died, and someone told you it came back to life, would you believe them just because you really loved your dog? Living things cannot be brought back to life, games can. I can tell the difference, thankfully, so I wouldn't believe them. How dare you mention "beloved" dogs while talking to me? I'm obviously a cat person.
Not all games can. Dust is one of those.
Former CEO of the Land of the BIind.
Any double entendre is unintended I assure you.
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TooMany Names AlreadyTaken
Going for the gold
4218
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Posted - 2017.04.14 23:43:00 -
[21] - Quote
One Eyed King wrote:TooMany Names AlreadyTaken wrote:One Eyed King wrote:If a beloved dog died, and someone told you it came back to life, would you believe them just because you really loved your dog? Living things cannot be brought back to life, games can. I can tell the difference, thankfully, so I wouldn't believe them. How dare you mention "beloved" dogs while talking to me? I'm obviously a cat person. Not all games can. Dust is one of those.
Because they sold the hamsters... BUY THEM BACK CCP
#NekosForLife GÄ¥GùÑGû¦GÇ+GÇ+GùÇGùñGÄá
When you think about it, no matter how weird it seems at first, nekos are like upgraded humans
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BigStuarty
Dead Man's Game
Preatoriani
205
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Posted - 2017.04.15 07:08:00 -
[22] - Quote
There's rumours regarding them. Now CCP have gerbil's bigger stronger and with flashier wheels. |
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