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Saving Private Lycan (Part 1)

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Silver Strike44 835	Posted - 2017.01.14 03:14:00 - [1] - Quote Alias: So why are we in this plane again? Tec: Didn't we just tell you the answer to that? Alias: Yeah, but I wasn't listening. McLovin: I bet that's what Alias always says when he can't hear something because of all the * lodged in his anal canal? Alias: Do you mean my ear canal? McLovin: You have * lodged in your ear canal? Are you some sort of qu eer? Alias: No. McLovin: You're not a qu eer, but you do have * in your ears? Glob: Why is this * Alias even here? Alias: I'm supposed to be. Tec: This isn't even your squad. Alias: It's not? Tec: You don't even know who your squad members are. Alias: Not really. I sort of just zone out when I'm with them. Tec: Whatever. All you have to do is jump when Fear tells us to and then activate your parachute before you hit the ground. Alias: How do I activate my parachute. Glob: ***, you really thought you belonged in this plane and you don't even know how to use your parachute? Tec: All you do is pull that cord. Alias: Which cord? McLovin: There's only one cord, dipsh it. Alias: So pull this cord? Tec: Yeah. Alias: OK. Alias pulls the cord and descends to the ground miles from the drop point and deep in enemy territory. My YouTube Channel
Silver Strike44 835	Posted - 2017.01.14 03:15:00 - [2] - Quote Tex: OK, we just received new orders from command, guys. Neck: So we can stop digging these graves? Thank fu cking God. DK: What do you mean? You volunteered us to dig these graves. Neck: No I didn't. Are you fu cking re tarded. DK: Yeah you did. You said you wanted to fu ck the corpses and then be able to bury the evidence really fast. Shep: God, did you really say that Neck? Neck: Fu ck no. DK: I specifically remember because you were fu cking a corpse when you said it. Neck: That was Gustavo. He's fu cking a corpse right now. Gus: Hey, that doesn't mean I said that. Shep: Did you? Gus: Yeah. DK: Oh yeah, I remember now. Neck and Gustavo were both fu cking the same corpse and they both said that. Neck: Shut up you stupid beach-digger. DK: What did you just say? Neck: I meant bi tch-ni gger. We've been on this beach digging graves for way too fu cking long. Shep: Why the fu ck are we digging graves on the beach? Gus: What's wrong with that? Shep: The bodies will just get washed up, nincompoop. Gus: Yeah, I just didn't want to have to drag them all the way off the beach. I'd barely have enough energy to fu ck them after that. Shep: OK. What about the rest of you? What do you have to say for yourselves? Neck: We just did what Gustavo said. Shep: And why the fu ck would you listen to a lobotomized chimp like him? DK: What do you mean? He outranks all of us. Shep: You must be sh itting me. Gus: Nah, command told me if I performed heinous war crimes on prisoners of war, they would promote me. Tex: And you did it? Gus: Yeah, who wouldn't? Tex: Well, most decent men would probably refuse to perform such evil acts for merely a promotion. Gus: What I meant was who wouldn't take the chance to do what they love AND get rewarded for it. Tex: Well, back to the mission. Shep: Yeah, what is it? Tex: Command wants us to save some soldier who accidentally parachuted in over enemy lines. DK: Accidentally parachuted in over enemy lines. Tex: Yeah, several miles over enemy lines, apparently. DK: What a fu cking idiot. Shep: Why should we risk all of our lives for one imbecile who sh it the bed? Tex: Command said something about America's fast food industry failing without him which would slowly lead to the collapse of the whole country. Neck: Are you fu cking joking? Tex: Yeah, I am. The collapse would actually be near instant. Shep: So what you're telling us is that his death would mean the destruction of our country? Tex: Uh-huh. Shep: And command sent him in a plane over enemy lines? Tex: I guess so. Shep: So who's the idiot running command? Tex: Well, you know how Gustavo outranks all of us... Shep: No way. Tex: He outranks ALL of us. Gus: They let me have as much fun as I wanted AND put me in charge of command. Isn't that neat? I guess good things do happen to good people. Neck: Ni gger, you're the most fu cked up piece of sh it that I've ever met. You should be lynched. Gus: Hey, don't talk to your commanding officer like that of you might be the one getting lynched. DK: If you run command then why did we get a message telling us our mission? Why didn't you just tell it to us? Gus: Uh... Shep: Yeah, and why did you get ordered to dig graves with us? Gus: Oh, I know that one. I volunteered to. Shep: But someone still gave you the orders. Gus: About that... Shep: You aren't actually in charge of command, are you? Gus: No. Shep: They'd never put a weak-minded simpleton like you in charge. Why did you guys say he was running command? Tex: I didn't know he wasn't in charge anymore. Shep: Anymore? So he was actually in charge? Gus: Yeah, they demoted me to private after they caught me vaping. DK: Vaping? Gus: You don't know what vaping is? Get with the times. Neck: You're one of those fa ggots? DK: You didn't already realize he was a fa ggot? Are you re tarded? Neck: He's obviously a fu cking fa ggot just like you. I just didn't know he was a vaping fa ggot. Gus: Hey, I'm not a fa ggot. Shep: You're fu cking a guy right now. Gus: Yeah, but I would fu ck any corpse. It doesn't matter if it's an adult male like this one or a female child like the one I just finished with. Neck: How did you get a female child's corpse? Gus: By killing a female child. Neck: Where did you find a little girl in the first fu cking place? Gus: I brought her with me. Shep: You brought a child with you when we stormed the beach? Gus: If you want to get philosophical, I didn't technically bring the child. Just her corpse. Neck: Jesus Christ. Shep: Enough of this fu cking dogsh it. Who is the highest ranking one of us? Tex: Well, I guess it's me. Neck: Let's get going for the love of fu ck then. These bodies are starting to smell like sh it. Gus: That's how you know they're ripe. Do we really have to go? My YouTube Channel
Silver Strike44 835	Posted - 2017.01.19 23:27:00 - [3] - Quote Benjamin Ciscko wrote: Some day I'll get bored enough to read this stuff, that day is not today. You had your time in the sun. My YouTube Channel
Silver Strike44 835	Posted - 2017.02.03 19:47:00 - [4] - Quote bump My YouTube Channel
Silver Strike44 838	Posted - 2017.05.01 22:29:00 - [5] - Quote bump My YouTube Channel
Silver Strike44 839	Posted - 2017.07.30 03:32:00 - [6] - Quote bump My YouTube Channel
Silver Strike44 839	Posted - 2017.09.29 04:57:00 - [7] - Quote bump My YouTube Channel

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