Silver Strike44
832
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Posted - 2016.12.09 08:03:00 -
[1] - Quote
After losing the first debate by a small yet decisive number of points, Neck engages in tender yet brutal sex with his husband Shep. "Who is on top?" you may ask. I'll never tell.
Neck: Right in my G-spot. Oh, baby. That's it. Keep going. And you'd better pull out this time.
Shep: Fu ck that. Never pull out.
Neck: That right there has almost ruined us politically more times than I can count.
Shep: Shut the fu ck up and let me bust before I get the gag out again.
Neck: Anything but the gag.
One of them reaches completion and they clean up.
Shep: Look, you can't let DK fu cking wreck you like that. I should be the only one who wrecks you that hard.
Neck: Hey, he only won by a few points and that's only because he brought up the Skype logs and I wasn't prepared.
Shep: Seriously, how did you not know those were made public? Are you actually lobotomized?
Neck: Hey, fa ggot, it's not my fault.
Shep: I'm the ******? You're the one who just got fu cked in the a ss.
Neck: I guess that's true, but at least I'm not a stupid bi tch-ni gger.
Shep: You should probably watch your language. You could get perma-banned from the American political system.
Neck: Fu ck that, I'll never get banned.
Shep: Whatever. Time for round 5.
They go again.
Shep: I still can't believe you let those logs get leaked.
Neck: I hear he hired the most powerful and thickest hacker to ever live what was I supposed to do? Besides, you have had way more dirt on you leaked.
Shep: Yeah, but at least I got my 2 terms. You're struggling for just one.
Neck: What are you talking about? I've had an extremely successful career.
Shep: The only relevant thing you've done is get railed in the a ss for 40 years by my presidential di ck.
Neck: Eat my ass.
Shep: You've asked me to do that a million times. I told you, I'm not putting my mouth where my **** goes. Plus, that's some g ay sh it.
Neck: What the fu ck ever. How do you propose I win the next debate then if you're such a godly politician?
Shep: All you have to do is pull some more dirt on him like he did to you.
Neck: What about the ra pe case?
Shep: Nobody gives a fu ck about that. That ***** Pack was way too ugly and disgusting for anyone to even give that a second thought.
Neck: Fine. What dirt then? Where?
Shep: Since I already came to the conclusion I was going to have to carry your bed-shi tting a ss through this election, I already got some stuff.
Neck: It's hard to not have sh it just slide out of your a ss after 40 years of loosening.
Shep: Don't try and tell me you weren't getting railed in the a ss before we were married.
Neck: Nah, I just sucked di ck, I swear. Not for that dirt. Give it to me.
Shep: Yeah, I'll give it to you.
Shep gives it to Neck. Then he lets him in on the dirt. Cut to the next debate.
Silver: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the second presidential debate. Today, I am joined by a co-host. The man, the myth, the legend. The destroyer.
Air: It's great to be here, yeah.
Silver: Destroyer here is from the U.K. but he has a taste for American politics.
Air: It's like some good cod, yeah?
Silver: What, like fish and chips?
Air: Naw, Call of Duty. I'll wreck any bi tch-boy who challenges the destroyer of air. I would have wrecked these two scrubs here, but they wouldn't let me run 'cause I'm a Brit.
Silver: Right. The candidates. In this corner, we have the returning champ. Weighing in at 3.5 points, it's DK.
DK: I'll build a wall of text. It won't even cost us money because words are fu cking worthless. Only money and pu ssy matter. If it did cost us money, though, I'd make those chupacabra-lovers across the river pay for it with slave labor anyways.
Silver: And in this corner, we have the other candidate. Weighing in at 2 points, it's Neck.
Neck: It's funny that you should mention slave labor and Mexicans, DK.
DK: Yeah, it is pretty funny.
Neck: No, fa ggot. Another scandal.
Silver: Do you have evidence?
Neck: Oh, yeah. Let's get SoundCloud 2.0 going, dude.
DK speaks with a Mexican human-trafficker somewhere south of the border.
DK: So, basically what I want is to purchase dumb sp ics from you to perform grueling slave labor for me until they die.
Mojo: Hijole, I can sure do that for you holmes.
DK: Cool, so how do you want to be paid.
Mojo: I only accept payment in the form of stimulants, gringo.
DK: What, drugs?
Mojo: Si, kind of like drugs. They do get you high.
DK: What then?
Mojo: Como se dice Myofibril Stimulants.
DK: Those things that make you jump high?
Mojo: Now you get it, hombre.
DK: Those things are for total fa ggots.
Mojo: No, those are for muy guay guys.
DK: That's what I just said. G ay.
Mojo: No, that means cool in Espanol.
DK: Whatever. Do we have a deal?
Mojo: Yeah, cuz.
Back to the debate.
Neck: So, as anyone who is absolutely re tarded can see, DK says he wants to keep Mexicans out of the country, but he has been trafficking them in and using them as slaves.
DK: But I paid for them.
Neck: SO?
DK: Exactly. So? What's the problem?
Neck: It's illegal and you're a huge racist.
DK: I'm a racist? Do I need to bring up the superpredators thing?
Air: Do it m8, you won't.
DK: I will. Basically, Neck said "black people are stupid car-stealing, child-raping, ni gger-face, ni gger-mouthed, co ck-sucking, wastes-of-life, baby-di cked, mother-fu cking, worthless, ni gger-loving ni ggers and also superpredators."
Neck: Yeah, I did say that, but I didn't mean it. Nigg-black people are good and should vote for me. Plus, I only say insults with 5 or 6 commas max now. I've calmed down over time.
Silver: We will return after these messages.
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