MIND = BLOWN!

Also explains why they typically get a bonus not-related to weaponry that fires a projectile...

And before anyone says anything about the Minmatar Assault, it's a magazine increase.

I'm just saying.

This is why we have mass drivers.

Hah! And the Commando originally had a Swarm bonus!

Man, this just gets better and better.

The Minmatar Light, Medium, and Heavy frames all only have the left eye (which I presume to be a camera). Incidentally, in-game characters are all right handed.

Which, when looking down the sights, can only mean one thing...

EDIT: Additional observations:
- Minmatar Scout gets a bonus to knives.
- Minmatar Commando originally got a bonus to Swarm Launchers (kek)
- Was later changed to Mass Drivers
- Minmatar Assault gets a magazine bonus

Face the facts, ladies and gentlemen, the Minmatar suits weren't designed for shooting :D

Also explains why they typically get a bonus not-related to weaponry that fires a projectile...

And before anyone says anything about the Minmatar Assault, it's a magazine increase.

I'm just saying.

The magazine increase is to compensate for all the missed shots

The Minmatar Light, Medium, and Heavy frames all only have the left eye (which I presume to be a camera). Incidentally, in-game characters are all right handed.

Which, when looking down the sights, can only mean one thing...

EDIT: Additional observations:
- Minmatar Scout gets a bonus to knives.
- Minmatar Commando originally got a bonus to Swarm Launchers (kek)
- Was later changed to Mass Drivers
- Minmatar Assault gets a magazine bonus

Face the facts, ladies and gentlemen, the Minmatar suits weren't designed for shooting :D

Seeing as we're slaves we probably are uneducated...
I don't keep up with lore... Anyone care to lore it up?

I don't get it...

Odin gave his eye for knowledge.

Every Minmatar soldier gives their eye for a powered exoskeleton and a gas operated assault rifle.

And why do the Amarr run around looking like giant penises?

And why do the Amarr run around looking like giant penises?

I don't get it...

And why do the Amarr run around looking like giant penises?

How do you aim a assult rifle with your right eye if you don't have a right eye. Does that answer your question?

...and if you don't have a assult rifle ))

Ever heard the story of Arrow-Odd?

Everyone knows the *****, mightier than the sword.

Also that reminds me of the funniest little bit of EVE related content I've ever read.

6. Anal

Lmao.

- Minmatar Commando originally got a bonus to Swarm Launchers (kek)
- Was later changed to Mass Drivers

Face the facts, ladies and gentlemen, the Minmatar suits weren't designed for shooting :D

The minmatar commando always had a bonus to mass drivers
I know this because that's why I skilled for it first

The description always said "explosive weapons"
It just so happened that the swarm launcher was considered an explosive weapon too and quickly became more popular on minmando loadouts than a mass driver, until CCP buffed the calmando and cut the swarms from the minmando bonus to encourage more diversity

poor mass driver
not even minmandos loved you enough to use you


Also, the minmatar eyepatch is amusing yes, but that brings up a more pressing question

Look at my forum avatar for a second and tell me
HOW DO CALDARI SEE ANYTHING?

The Minmatar Light, Medium, and Heavy frames all only have the left eye (which I presume to be a camera). Incidentally, in-game characters are all right handed.

Which, when looking down the sights, can only mean one thing...

EDIT: Additional observations:
- Minmatar Scout gets a bonus to knives.
- Minmatar Commando originally got a bonus to Swarm Launchers (kek)
- Was later changed to Mass Drivers
- Minmatar Assault gets a magazine bonus

Face the facts, ladies and gentlemen, the Minmatar suits weren't designed for shooting :D

poor mass driver
not even minmandos loved you enough to use you

The minmatar commando always had a bonus to mass drivers
I know this because that's why I skilled for it first

The description always said "explosive weapons"
It just so happened that the swarm launcher was considered an explosive weapon too and quickly became more popular on minmando loadouts than a mass driver, until CCP buffed the calmando and cut the swarms from the minmando bonus to encourage more diversity

poor mass driver
not even minmandos loved you enough to use you


Also, the minmatar eyepatch is amusing yes, but that brings up a more pressing question

Look at my forum avatar for a second and tell me
HOW DO CALDARI SEE ANYTHING?

I'm right handed but when I was I kid I'd aim with my left eye (dominant eye). I'd hold the guns right handed and would just close my right eye, surprisingly I was a good shot. Sadly much like my Dust gun game, my real gun game has only gotten worse over time.

Also the Mindo always had a bonus to MD's because it wasn't a weapon specific bonus, it was a damage type bonus which is projectiles & explosives. What changed was the swarms damage type which was switched to "Missile" and then the Calmando was given that as a bonus. Come on man, you're a CPM, you should know this.


The MD is why I skilled into the Mindo so losing the swarms didn't bother me a bit.

-Shrug- I don't remember every little facet of Commando history. M'bad.

Once upon a time the Minmatar were blessed with a beautiful garden paradise of a home world called Matar, but they were ungrateful little ***** who took what they had for grated.

So the Amarr enslaved them.

A long, long time later when many of them had been taught their lesson, the culture utterly destroyed and most Minmatar were happy with their lot in life as slaves, came the Elders. Old geriatrics who were all like "Rise up brothers and sisters and lets go back to our lazy ways."

Now the Minmatar people being too docile and lazy to think for themselves nodded in agreement And so they rebelled ineffectively and the Amarr bombed them from their planets back to their mud ball.

So naturally the Minmatar were wanting to know what to do next being irresponsible and lacking the ability to reason without their Amarrian overlords and so they approached the Geriatr.... Elders.

"What will we do now Elders?" The cried out as one.

"We shall live in peace with the Amarr and this shall benefit everyone."

Naturally the Minmatar were confused, their tiny minds unable to handle the sudden change in their misguided leaders rhetoric. "Truly?" they asked over joyed.

Then the Elders turned on them. "**** no you twits. We're going to splinter into an ineffectual republic based on the ideals of those we don't even really like while keeping our Tribal ways that only cement centuries worth of intolerance and dissosciation. Meanwhile our new system of governance will be so poor most of you will have to turn to crime of leave home entirely. Now get to it before we have you lot whipped!"

So the Minmatar did. But the Amarr understandably were angry. They had loved the Minmatar with all their hearts and were utterly betrayed as all they had done was try to help. As such when the Amarr came back to the Minmatar with their nice golden collars.

The Elder's were in the middle of some geriatric, drug induced, frenzy after having exploited all of the Minmatar people and ordered them to go to war.

So naturally they searched for a general. One who as a big a **** as they were, and soon they found him. The son of a douchey old Elder lover whose name was Odd, because of how Odd he was for a Minmatar.

Odd was the biggest **** around. Selfish, insensitive, and downright rude which made the Elder's think he was perfect. So short sighted and stupid was he that he armed himself with a bow instead of a rifle and as such the Elders made him three arrows called Gusir's Gifts.

Now at that time all the infantry belonging to the Minmatar Republic had two eyes but soon the mere sight of Arrow-Odd, as they had nick named him, was unbearable. One day as a punishment for not tying their shoes correctly Odd took one of Gusir's Gifts and shot it right through a soldiers eye.

Initially the man screamed in agony but after a moment he started laughing.

"This is fantastic." He cried out. "No longer do I have depth perception enough to tell how close this repugnant Odd is to me. Though I wish to return to my Amarr friends this will be my solace."

So as a tradition all of the soldier began to poke out their left eyes to prevent them being able to see the Elder's or of their commanders with any semblance of clarity. As such the Minmatar's common weaponry evolved to compensate for this alck of visual prowess and basically just tossed led in a wide enough pattern forwards.

So goes the histories of the Minmatar people, completely historically accurate.

DISCLAIMER: True Adamance reserves the right to mix real viking legend with semi accurate Minmatar lore and present it from a view point the is unashamedly apologetic towards the Amarr while sarcastically, and disingenuously slandering the Matari Elders for his own amusement.