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True Adamance
Praetoriani Classiarii Templares
Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris
21
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Posted - 2016.01.15 00:14:00 -
[1] - Quote
Radiant Pancake3 wrote:Flix Keptick wrote:Aeon Amadi wrote:SereneJedi wrote:MIND = BLOWN! Also explains why they typically get a bonus not-related to weaponry that fires a projectile... And before anyone says anything about the Minmatar Assault, it's a magazine increase. I'm just saying. The magazine increase is to compensate for all the missed shots  Seeing as we're slaves we probably are uneducated... I don't keep up with lore... Anyone care to lore it up?
Ever heard the story of Arrow-Odd?
"That means Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son-of-a-bitch in space."
- Unnamed Gunnery Chief, The Citadel
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True Adamance
Praetoriani Classiarii Templares
Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris
21
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Posted - 2016.01.15 00:21:00 -
[2] - Quote
Atiim wrote:I don't get it...
Odin gave his eye for knowledge.
Every Minmatar soldier gives their eye for a powered exoskeleton and a gas operated assault rifle.
"That means Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son-of-a-bitch in space."
- Unnamed Gunnery Chief, The Citadel
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True Adamance
Praetoriani Classiarii Templares
Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris
21
|
Posted - 2016.01.15 00:33:00 -
[3] - Quote
One Eyed King wrote:True Adamance wrote:Atiim wrote:I don't get it... Odin gave his eye for knowledge. Every Minmatar soldier gives their eye for a powered exoskeleton and a gas operated assault rifle. And why do the Amarr run around looking like giant penises?
Everyone knows the *****, mightier than the sword.
Also that reminds me of the funniest little bit of EVE related content I've ever read.
"That means Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son-of-a-bitch in space."
- Unnamed Gunnery Chief, The Citadel
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True Adamance
Praetoriani Classiarii Templares
Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris
21
|
Posted - 2016.01.15 01:37:00 -
[4] - Quote
It's more the 'DON'T EVER' [with a Brutor] recommendation that gets to me.
"That means Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son-of-a-bitch in space."
- Unnamed Gunnery Chief, The Citadel
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True Adamance
Praetoriani Classiarii Templares
Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris
21
|
Posted - 2016.01.15 10:15:00 -
[5] - Quote
[quote=Radiant Pancake3]
Like I said true... Not big on lore... So I rely on lore nerds...
Now that being said...
STORY TIME!! Go on...[/quote
Once upon a time the Minmatar were blessed with a beautiful garden paradise of a home world called Matar, but they were ungrateful little ***** who took what they had for grated.
So the Amarr enslaved them.
A long, long time later when many of them had been taught their lesson, the culture utterly destroyed and most Minmatar were happy with their lot in life as slaves, came the Elders. Old geriatrics who were all like "Rise up brothers and sisters and lets go back to our lazy ways."
Now the Minmatar people being too docile and lazy to think for themselves nodded in agreement And so they rebelled ineffectively and the Amarr bombed them from their planets back to their mud ball.
So naturally the Minmatar were wanting to know what to do next being irresponsible and lacking the ability to reason without their Amarrian overlords and so they approached the Geriatr.... Elders.
"What will we do now Elders?" The cried out as one.
"We shall live in peace with the Amarr and this shall benefit everyone."
Naturally the Minmatar were confused, their tiny minds unable to handle the sudden change in their misguided leaders rhetoric. "Truly?" they asked over joyed.
Then the Elders turned on them. "**** no you twits. We're going to splinter into an ineffectual republic based on the ideals of those we don't even really like while keeping our Tribal ways that only cement centuries worth of intolerance and dissosciation. Meanwhile our new system of governance will be so poor most of you will have to turn to crime of leave home entirely. Now get to it before we have you lot whipped!"
So the Minmatar did. But the Amarr understandably were angry. They had loved the Minmatar with all their hearts and were utterly betrayed as all they had done was try to help. As such when the Amarr came back to the Minmatar with their nice golden collars.
The Elder's were in the middle of some geriatric, drug induced, frenzy after having exploited all of the Minmatar people and ordered them to go to war.
So naturally they searched for a general. One who as a big a **** as they were, and soon they found him. The son of a douchey old Elder lover whose name was Odd, because of how Odd he was for a Minmatar.
Odd was the biggest **** around. Selfish, insensitive, and downright rude which made the Elder's think he was perfect. So short sighted and stupid was he that he armed himself with a bow instead of a rifle and as such the Elders made him three arrows called Gusir's Gifts.
Now at that time all the infantry belonging to the Minmatar Republic had two eyes but soon the mere sight of Arrow-Odd, as they had nick named him, was unbearable. One day as a punishment for not tying their shoes correctly Odd took one of Gusir's Gifts and shot it right through a soldiers eye.
Initially the man screamed in agony but after a moment he started laughing.
"This is fantastic." He cried out. "No longer do I have depth perception enough to tell how close this repugnant Odd is to me. Though I wish to return to my Amarr friends this will be my solace."
So as a tradition all of the soldier began to poke out their left eyes to prevent them being able to see the Elder's or of their commanders with any semblance of clarity. As such the Minmatar's common weaponry evolved to compensate for this alck of visual prowess and basically just tossed led in a wide enough pattern forwards.
So goes the histories of the Minmatar people, completely historically accurate.
"That means Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son-of-a-bitch in space."
- Unnamed Gunnery Chief, The Citadel
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