So we open up with a shot of a dropship flying over a city in a FW, carrying a full squad (minus one) of mercs as they prepare to drop down to capture an objective. The six passengers, an amarr sentinel, a min and gal scout, a min and gal logi, and an amarr assault, all hop out and land just outside the city next to one of the buildings leading inside, dropping down uplinks for quick re-entry should they get terminated, while the gal logi pulls out a scanner to check for hostiles. Just when they get the clear from their logi, they hear the hum of an LAV coming in behind them. They all spin around, the minlogi whipping out a rep tool, the gallogi an assault rifle, the sentinel pre-spinning an HMG, the scouts activating their cloaks, and the assault lining up the sight of their scrambler rifle.

But it turns out to be their last squadmate, a cal commando, who couldn't fit on the six seater dropship. He does a fishtail or whatever the hell you call it when he turns at the last second and does a sideways slide to a stop and gives them a quick wave, before reaching into the passenger seat and pulling up a single can of Quafe and showing it to them.

Calmando: "Hey, guys! How about a quick drink before our victory?"

There's a few relieved/exasperated sighs, but everyone lowers their gear and the scouts uncloak, one of them giving the sentinel a hearty pat on the back as they all start walking toward their squadmate, although the minlogi seems to hesitate, staying behind.

Minlogi: "But... there's only one."

The mercs stop. Things get quiet. There's a tense two or three seconds. Suddenly the scouts recloak, the minlogi pulls out his reptool for the sentinel, the assault is trying to take out the minlogi while the sentinel starts spinning his HMG for the assault, and the gallogi has his assault rifle out and he's spinning around trying to find the scouts. Cut away back to the calmando and he visibly cringes as they open fire on each other. You can hear the HMG spilling shells, the 'thoom' of shotgun blasts and the rapid fire of the scrambler and assault rifles. The calmando quickly scoots out of the driver seat, grabbing an eight-pack of the sodas from the passenger side and waving his arms at his teammates as he scrambles out of the vehicle.

Calmando: "Wait, wait! I've got a whole pack! Enough for everyone!"

Cut back to the squad as they put an immediate halt to their fight, in a comical mix of limbs and awkward positions with the min-logi and min-scout's bodies both laying by the side, beginning to fade away, the assault and gallogi both with the muzzles of their rifles pointed under the chin of the heavy and the galscout's shotgun pressed against the head of the assault.

Galscout: "Oh."

You hear the 'thoom' of the scout's shotgun again and the assault is terminated, his body immediately beginning to fade, as the remaining three get up and begin to dust themselves off.

Galscout: "Hear that? Quafe for everybody!"

Cut to a shot behind the LAV, watching the three mercs make their way once more to their squadmate, who is simply standing there and shaking his head at them.

Just as they're about to reach the vehicle and partake in some Quafe, however, they hear the buzz of an orbital, directly over them. They all make a mad scramble to get out of the way of the bombardment, the two heavies trying to leap into the vehicle to drive away, but they're all caught in the blast and the clones and vehicle are instantly vaporized, with the pack of Quafe thudding to the ground (the in-joke here being that because the orbitals only destroy nanites, the Quafe is safe).

The scene cuts away to their pilot sitting in his dropship, looking up from their arm display as they suddenly vanishe, with the AI voice saying that they have been removed from the battle due to excessive friendly fire.

The screen fades to black for a moment and back in, this time on the boots of a merc as they walk up to the cans, stopping in front of them.

Merc: "Target in sight. All this for some Quafe?"

Pilot: "Hey, if they were gonna kill each other for some drinks I figured I should get in on the fun. We're immortal, it's not like we haven't done worse for less. Now hurry up and get me that Quafe and you can get you pay."

The merc squats down next to the cans, pulling one of them from the container and slowly turning it over in their hand.

Merc: "You know, I'm kind of thirsty."

Pilot: "Don't you do it. Do you have any idea who you're talking to?"

The mercenary laughs and brushes off a bit of sand from the rim of the can, resting a finger on the tab.

Merc: "Oh, no, I know who you are. But, ah, I've got to say... I've never heard of you."

Cut to black, we hear the merc's laughter once more, and then the pop and fizz of the can being opened, and the Quafe sponsor logo fades in.