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Clotheshanger Abortion
Y0UTHINASIA
25
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Posted - 2015.09.10 17:28:00 -
[1] - Quote
I opened up squad finder the other day and saw at the top of the list, a 3 man squad from a corporation called "Incorruptibles". I joined the squad, introduced myself, and we queued up for a battle. When we got into a battle, the squad asked me, "Would you like to learn the secrets to love?" I responded yes, and this is what they told me
Dont play Warhammer 40k
Show her your well-tanned scrote.
Get KD to 4.53
Always remember to ratatat dat ass.
Show her a third degree burn and say you survived a 'Quafe' ScR attack
If she's a chocolate lady, ask her if she'd like Mormon Jesus to redeem her.
Hermaphrodites count as chicks. **** them all
Show them your Transformers toy collection. Nothing gets a lady wet like 80's toys.
Here's the secret to women: Spend 15 years of classical training on a brass instrument (trumpet, baritone, etc). Learn to double tongue, learn to triple tongue, learn to circular breathe. When their thighs are making you deaf from squeezing your head so tightly, you're there.
...and any woman that won't have sex with the lights on isn't being modest. She has warts or herpes or both.
Don't get erect too fast. Two things can happen: 1) fainting. 2) testicular implosion. 3) Both
Use Fallout Shelter pickup lines
Are those your **** or a couple of eight balls in socks?
Don't use condoms the girl gives you. She may be crazy and put holes. Once you realize that, move far away. Fast.
If you ever run out of condoms just pour listerine on her vagina. This will preemptively kill all your sperm.
Every hole is a goal
Get a girl who knows how to work the shaft, head, and balls.
Can hold breath for long periods of time. Flexible. No gag reflex.
Pray to Allah for 72 virgins
Before coitus, whisper the Litany Against Fear.
"I will not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Remember to warm up some towels, because after sex she will become pregnant and you will need to deliver the baby.
Don't **********. Save your first semen babies for her.
EDIT: Please feel free to add your own tips to help me in this area.
I dont know the question, but the answer is buy more Aurum!
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Clotheshanger Abortion
Y0UTHINASIA
27
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Posted - 2015.09.10 17:52:00 -
[2] - Quote
Falling Sunset wrote:The Question is.. Why?
Why what?
I dont know the question, but the answer is buy more Aurum!
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Clotheshanger Abortion
Y0UTHINASIA
27
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Posted - 2015.09.10 17:56:00 -
[3] - Quote
Cat Merc wrote:Clotheshanger Abortion wrote:Falling Sunset wrote:The Question is.. Why? Why what? Why this post didn't melt my eyes.
Because forum posts cant melt steel beams
I dont know the question, but the answer is buy more Aurum!
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Clotheshanger Abortion
Y0UTHINASIA
39
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Posted - 2015.09.11 14:40:00 -
[4] - Quote
True Adamance wrote:Clotheshanger Abortion wrote:
Before coitus, whisper the Litany Against Fear.
"I will not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
So we can quote Dune and still get laid but not play 40k? That doesn't sound right.
Dune is love, Dune is life
I dont know the question, but the answer is buy more Aurum!
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Clotheshanger Abortion
Y0UTHINASIA
39
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Posted - 2015.09.11 14:42:00 -
[5] - Quote
IMMORTAL WAR HERO wrote:dont forget to finish with a thankyou O_o
*tips fedora* thank you m'lady
I dont know the question, but the answer is buy more Aurum!
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