The Tanker and the Swarms
By:Daddrobit

Our fun little story will follow the dear Mr. Feind, self proclaimed Demigod!
And though it might not have been true, to cross his logic meant going to his firing squad.

But what Mr Fiend hated above all else was AV, and he despised it with such rancor!
Yes it was patently obvious, (How could you miss it?) that this man was a self entitled tanker.

He cried on the forums, "One Swarm Two Swarm Three Swarm Four"
"From Standard to Officer, they hurt me so bad, I just can't take it any more!"

"And who can forget Militia, oh such a horrible, devious, terrible beast!"
"Yes my hardeners may have been down, but I should still get away at least?"

"Who cares about things like balance, fun, or engaging gameplay?"
"I'm in a tank for goodness sakes! And I am here to stay!"

Oh yes he thought so very highly of himself, and he imagined it in so much blazing Glory,
That he never expected, (t'was completely unforeseen) that he was not actually the hero of this story...

For here it is that he does enter, the clone who calls himself Daddy
Much to the despair of his victims, certainly seeing him makes them very unhappy

"But wait," Daddy cried, "Stop yourself and hold long enough to let me speak."
"Why would you go and attack someone when you know you yourself are very weak?"

"And militia swarms aren't nearly such a beast. Surely there were a million ways to survive"
"If you died going against a man using militia swarms, then you must have been taking a dive"

"Even basic gives you plenty of time to run away. The first shots are merely a ticklish warning"
"Eight seconds later is when you finally get into trouble, and after that is when you can really begin your mourning."

"But what were you doing in all of that time? Did you not know that tanks go in reverse?"
"If you simply start driving away, the swarms will become impotent, and then you won't have to open up your purse."

"it must be hard to think about what I'm saying, so let me make it more simple before you start singing the blues"
"Don't engage things when you know you can't win, and don't field what you can not afford to lose.

And thus content and satisfied, Daddy sat back, waiting for a reply, reclining in his chair,
Hoping that the next response from a tanker wouldn't be one that would make him tug out all of his hair.

The End