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BLOOD Ruler
Kameira Lodge
Amarr Empire
1851
   |
Posted - 2015.05.17 01:18:00 -
[1] - Quote
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesnGÇÖt seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, GÇ£My friend is dead! What can I do?GÇ¥ The operator says GÇ£Calm down. I can help. First, letGÇÖs make sure heGÇÖs dead.GÇ¥ There is a silence, and then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says GÇ£OK, now what?GÇ¥
No Escaping Reason, No Denying Purpose
For We Know Without Purpose We World Not Exist
The Purpose Of Life Is To End
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BLOOD Ruler
Kameira Lodge
Amarr Empire
1851
|
Posted - 2015.05.17 01:19:00 -
[2] - Quote
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said, GÇ£Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.GÇ¥ Watson replied, GÇ£I see millions and millions of stars.GÇ¥ Holmes said, GÇ£And what do you deduce from that?GÇ¥ Watson replied, GÇ£Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, itGÇÖs quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.GÇ¥ And Holmes said, GÇ£Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.GÇ¥
No Escaping Reason, No Denying Purpose
For We Know Without Purpose We World Not Exist
The Purpose Of Life Is To End
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BLOOD Ruler
Kameira Lodge
Amarr Empire
1851
|
Posted - 2015.05.17 01:20:00 -
[3] - Quote
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, GÇ£ThatGÇÖs the ugliest baby that IGÇÖve ever seen. Ugh!GÇ¥ The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, GÇ£The driver just insulted me!GÇ¥ The man says, GÇ£You go right up there and tell him off, go ahead, IGÇÖll hold your monkey for you.GÇ¥
The highest rated computer-generated joke was.
What kind of murderer has moral fiber? A cereal killer.
No Escaping Reason, No Denying Purpose
For We Know Without Purpose We World Not Exist
The Purpose Of Life Is To End
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BLOOD Ruler
Kameira Lodge
Amarr Empire
1851
|
Posted - 2015.05.17 01:24:00 -
[4] - Quote
The Hunter makes sure to kill his friend.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson's tent was stolen when they had awoken.
And They Baby Was an Adorable Monkey.
Also cereal joke.
Post below
No Escaping Reason, No Denying Purpose
For We Know Without Purpose We World Not Exist
The Purpose Of Life Is To End
|
Jonny D Buelle
Mors Effera
1484
|
Posted - 2015.05.17 01:32:00 -
[5] - Quote
So there is this sawmill in Ireland where they have a strange policy when it comes to losing fingers. The policy is that if you lose a finger, you shove it up your ass to stop the bleeding.
One day, Patty was working the saws with Mick when all of a sudden he lost his finger. So he quickly shoved it up his ass and pulled it out, but it was still bleeding. He turned to Mick and said "I cut my bloody finger off and shoved it up me ass but its still bleeding!"
"Well," Mick said, "you better shove it up me ass!" So Mick bends over and Patty shoves his finger up Mick's ass, pulled it out, and it was still bleeding. "This looks serious," Mick said, "you better go see the foreman."
So Patty went to see the foreman. The foreman asks "What the blood hell happened Patty?"
"Well, I cut my finger off, shoved it up me ass, it was still bleeding, shoved it up Mick's ass, and its still bleeding!"
The foreman thought about it for a minute then said, "Well you better shove it up me ass." So the foreman bends over and Patty shoves it up his ass and pulls it out. It was still bleeding.
"This is really serious," said the foreman, "You better go see the nurse."
So Patty walks over to the nurses office and the nurse asks, "Patty what happened?"
"I cut me bloody finger off, shoved it up me ass, still bleeding, shoved it up Mick's ass, still bleeding, shoved it up the foreman's, ass, and its still f*cking bleeding!"
"Well," said the nurse, "you better shove it up me ass." So she bends over and lifts her skirts. A moment later she says "Patty, that's not me ass!"
And Patty says, "Thats not me finger."
Give me my Plasma Flamethrower or give me a cookie!
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BLOOD Ruler
Kameira Lodge
Amarr Empire
1852
|
Posted - 2015.05.17 01:40:00 -
[6] - Quote
Jonny D Buelle........ I am laughing my arse from this, the ending nearly ******* killed me.
No Escaping Reason, No Denying Purpose
For We Know Without Purpose We World Not Exist
The Purpose Of Life Is To End
|
ABUTOR Of Bane
Tronhadar Free Guard
Minmatar Republic
1
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Posted - 2015.05.17 01:43:00 -
[7] - Quote
 ........ Nice |
Nachos
Rogue Instincts
New Eden's Heros
11
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Posted - 2015.05.17 01:44:00 -
[8] - Quote
a short guy goes to a bar, and orders a beer
a tall man asks him,"What will it be, shorty?" laughing at him.
"Just a schooner mate."
"That will be 8 bucks"...then he looks at a high shelf.
"Hey shorty, i bet you can't reach these steaks on the top shelf" and points to the top shelf at the bar
The short guy thinks about it and the odds of him winning...
then replies
"Nah mate, i don't like to gamble...besides, the stakes are a bit to high"
xavier zor
xavier zor
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