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VAHZZ
2013
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Posted - 2015.05.12 06:47:00 -
[1] - Quote
KAGEHOSHI Horned Wolf wrote:This speech is not that inspiring. I would give more detailed and constructive feedback if I could, but it's hard to pin down the problem with it, but I'll try anyway. I guess it just seems like a list of unconnected things with no focus; you're a proud race, overcame treacherous paths, won't give up, giving everything to achieve everything (you could have phrased it in a more poetic way), you don't like cowards and traitors, and an awkward part about nanites burning (doesn't need to be repeated). Needs a more central message in my opinion.
Caldari are essentially corporate fascists, so try emphasizing strength, unity, and patriotism.
Mentions of things being unholy or heresy doesn't really fit Caldari; sounds Amarr. Heresy is beliefs that are contrary to the approved religious doctrine, and your use of it doesn't really make sense.
The italicized quote was alright though.
No, the reason it sucks is because it is Caldari.
"I bring nothing; I bless nothing, I save nothing, I just; erase. Completely. Shatter."
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VAHZZ
2015
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Posted - 2015.05.12 06:58:00 -
[2] - Quote
Knightshade Belladonna wrote:You may not stand down, but the might of the Federation will PUT you down.
Freedom bruh , get some
FREEEEEDOOOOOM!!!
"I bring nothing; I bless nothing, I save nothing, I just; erase. Completely. Shatter."
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VAHZZ
2017
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Posted - 2015.05.12 07:13:00 -
[3] - Quote
Jonny D Buelle wrote:VAHZZ wrote:Knightshade Belladonna wrote:You may not stand down, but the might of the Federation will PUT you down.
Freedom bruh , get some FREEEEEDOOOOOM!!! FREEEEEDOOOM
Not green enough, but it is Matari lookin'.
"I bring nothing; I bless nothing, I save nothing, I just; erase. Completely. Shatter."
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VAHZZ
2017
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Posted - 2015.05.12 07:15:00 -
[4] - Quote
KAGEHOSHI Horned Wolf wrote:No glory for the State, all glory to the hypnotoad.
The hypnotoad ain't got a thing on the sunbro. Praise the Sun.
"I bring nothing; I bless nothing, I save nothing, I just; erase. Completely. Shatter."
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VAHZZ
2018
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Posted - 2015.05.12 07:26:00 -
[5] - Quote
You bitches....
"I bring nothing; I bless nothing, I save nothing, I just; erase. Completely. Shatter."
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VAHZZ
2043
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Posted - 2015.05.12 22:15:00 -
[6] - Quote
The Lion ElJonson wrote:Look as long as a certain person keeps slowly watering down cal and buffing gal then this is going end badly. isn't it Raattai?
"Gallente Master Race" - CCP Rattata mr pokemon rat man
So much freedom.
"I bring nothing; I bless nothing, I save nothing, I just; erase. Completely. Shatter."
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VAHZZ
2053
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Posted - 2015.05.13 02:25:00 -
[7] - Quote
True Adamance wrote:Jonny D Buelle wrote:Illustrious Sword Baron wrote:Jonny D Buelle wrote:Screw the state. Screw the federation. Screw the Empire. The Minmatar Republic is okay.
That being said I am obligated, as a Gallentean, to say this:
FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM You disgust me. We seem to have that in common. I disgust my self. You also disgust me in the best possible way.
What about me True?
"I bring nothing; I bless nothing, I save nothing, I just; erase. Completely. Shatter."
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