B1ack ice
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Posted - 2015.03.26 07:02:00 -
[1] - Quote
Have you ever done something you wish you could take back but you have to live with knowing that you can't?
Unfortunately, it's 2015 and time machines are still not a thing.
Well, admittedly I've done lots of things I wish I could take back and can't.
From the first day of character creation, when I figured out that these are real people on a video game. Spread across the country, even the world and I have a chance to talk to if not all of them than most. Want to know what my first thought was? Wow... I have the opportunity to affect someone from thousands of miles away. I may not be able to touch them, or hug them when they need it, but hopefully there will be many moments in this game where I affect someone's real character for the better.
Did you know that's why I wasn't upset over fanfest? It wasn't ignorance or arrogance that stopped me from being compassionate to everyone's distress over the in-game crisis, but it was the fact that Ive only cared about this game for all of you. You have made the irritating updates bearable.
Did I say that? No. I was a smartass and expected everyone to know what was actually in my heart.
Yes I have one.
When we created HvLP and things fell apart, from the beginning I had bragging rights to creating it, because that was my security blanket so you and Heimdallr wouldn't cast me aside. Hey, look, I did something cool! But, honestly, the tag and the name wasn't my accomplishment. It was you both. The meaning behind the name is what I wanted to own and take to the grave with me.
From the beginning, I've seen all of you as potential friends, men I look up to and some even like my brothers.
It's never been about the meta, it's never been about the ISK, it's never been about the power, or the stats for me. Its far greater.
I ignorantly made an assumption that everyone already knew who I am, why I say and do what I do, and what I care about.
I want to publicly apologize to you for sending an alliance mail that was detrimental to something we created together. Perhaps no one else cares, but we did and it meant something to us all,
I originally thought that you hacked into my facebook and Main PSN as I was informed. It was still childish and I apologize. Perhaps I will burn in Hell for the mistakes I've made and how I have negatively affected other people's lives, but I can tell you right now that the regret is its own sort of Hell I'm stuck with forever.
Done with the forums and done with having things to regret. They'll never make a time machine. :/
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