DUST Search - Friend is becoming a ****** addict, what do i do?

1e 3peat wrote:

BrotherofHavok wrote:

Addiction is a difficult subject for anyone. Personally I had a friend who was also an addict. As far as I know he took anything that could be found along the eastern seaboard of the US.

One of the biggest things I found to help was to keep him distracted. It took me and about a dozen others but we made sure that someone was with him pretty much every hour of the day. We started small at first, just a quick meal or a drink. We hung out, watched youtube clips and then moved up to full dvds. Eventually getting him to open up enough to go out to eat or see a movie. The more and more we kept him busy the less he seemed to take until eventually we had that intervention stuff. Thankfully we waited long enough to the point where he really was using so little that he recognized what he had become (a video camcorder helped record what he looked like before we started) and agreed that he needed to stop. Shortly after that he checked himself into a rehab center. Now he's been clean for about 3 years and he's starting to date again.

No matter what the advice you get from others and the internet, you have to take into consideration the long term effects and potential risks of anything you do. If you're as good a friend as you seem to be (been there for years) then you should be able to understand a little how he would react to anything you try. Use that to decide what to do.

THIS^
Recovered addicts are beautiful things. They are much nicer and understand much more than the average person. They can loose a lot but become humble with it, even when they succeed and get rich later. Mostly just distract him and give him reasons to not focus on the drugs or what is a hard life for him. He is probably doing this as a way of personal control when what he wants is a fresher life with more freedom from his mom and never had the support (obviously). I'm in my mid twenties and if I was still at home my parents would get me serious help! And not rehab, a life, a stable emotional state. No matter how YOU look at this his suffering is WAY far and beyond yours and he will want that understood, probably why he thinks you're calling him a jerk.

"Tech you're in a max suit, you have 15 mins to unfk yourself or you can fk off." - Stumpycat C/O of Goon Brigade.


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TerranKnight87 Seituoda Taskforce Command Caldari State 239	Posted - 2015.03.10 02:55:00 - [1] - Quote I have known him since we were 6 years old and i am the only person who knows of his addiction. I don't know in full details but he says he smokes it about 4 times a month. Originally he did it to replace his pain killers (opiates) and anti depressants. Now he takes all 3. The issue is not only is he doing this but he is becoming very irrational as it is evident that the drugs are now affecting his limbic nerve (as opiates do along with any highly addictive drug). He is getting this kind of self righteous, borderline delusional attitude that i have not seen since he was doing other A class drugs years ago. Now, i firmly believe that noone has the right to tell anyone how or what they should do with their life on any level within reason and i think he has crossed that reason. I dont know what to do as only i know about it and his irrational attitude makes it so i can't even speak to him about things like this now. I feel like i am literally growing apart from him and he's is just staying the same and not bettering himself. For the record i have never been a regular hard drug taker, he has but he's never really been on it hardcore but this for me has crossed the line where he is now behaving like a fking animal. He still lives with his mum as well at the age of 28. I have tried to explain to him many timed over the years how this creates so many issues for him, he has NEVER manned up, not once in his life. Never had any responsiblity or nothing. I'd like to hear what any other adults have to say on the matter. I am 27 and he is 28. It sounds like some kind of broken love story but i guess when you have known someone since you have been 6, he's like a brother to me. When someone is becoming as fked up as he is, it's not as simple as telling him straight because the drugs are clouding his mind. I feel like i have no option but to tell him that he needs help or some sht. "Tech you're in a max suit, you have 15 mins to unfk yourself or you can fk off." - Stumpycat C/O of Goon Brigade.
TerranKnight87 Seituoda Taskforce Command Caldari State 241	Posted - 2015.03.10 07:16:00 - [2] - Quote Cheers. I just literally don't know where to turn as i am the only person who knows, i dont want to be asking on some random as fk Q&A forum and I have no real experience with this. If there was a bar from 1 - 10 with 10 being 'Fk up and possibly violence somewhere imminant' then i'd say he is at 7. I have seen this behaviour from him when he was addicted to speed. He beat his dad He beat me at one point He nearly beat his mum He beat two other buddies He does have a thing called disphraxia (I don't know how to spell it) and it is as if the drugs are clouding his awareness of how it affects him and how he should compose himself. The thing is that he is getting so touchy and taking things the wrong way constantly as if there are hidden meanings in things and where i have to actually explain to him what i meant in plain english as he tries to twist things into some pathetic and childish btch fest. And i can tell you that i always say what i mean and he knows this so for him to behave like he thinks i am hiding hidden meanings and stuff in what i am saying and trying to insinuate and be a prick like that is just mental. Especially when he actually behaves in exactly that manner when he doesn't like what he is hearing. Half of his issues he has are serously just him reflecting himself on other to a T and it's quite a worrying thing to see. For him to accuse people of behaving in the exact way he has when they have not in anyway. It is as if he is going mad, actually mad. Cheers for the advice as well. I've not actually even commented on his addiction to him either at all in anyway other than when he told me and i was worried and funnily enough, he seemed to think that me saying please dont do that **** is somehow calling him an idiot. "Tech you're in a max suit, you have 15 mins to unfk yourself or you can fk off." - Stumpycat C/O of Goon Brigade.
TerranKnight87 Seituoda Taskforce Command Caldari State 248	Posted - 2015.03.11 08:41:00 - [3] - Quote I am glad to see i am not alone with this situation. I am thinking of how i can tell him but he is so touchy and irrational that it seems almost impossible. I think what i'm going to do is try to instigate his behaviour in a very subtle wayy so that he flips out a few times so that he will without doubt know for sure himself that he has lost it. If that doesn't help then i might have to actually arrange for his mother 'accidentally' walk in on him doing it. She doesn't know though so that won't be easy either. I'll have to go over her screaming at me for not telling her. The whole situation is beyond fked lol. If his own mother can't talk sense into him then i may have to ring the guys in white to come and take him to rehab. And Tebow Gordon Ramsay is fking quality. Swearing in the UK unless in a professional evironment is perfectly fine most of the time. It's barely even seen as swearing but more of a simplified wayy of describing something or to put emphasis on something. If you're from the UK then sorry for patronising lol. The way i see Ramsay is that much like a carpenter, he knows exactly what he is doing so if something ain't right, then it's fked. Just the same way a carpenter needs to get their measurements right or a piece will be wonky. Rather than aesthetics, build quality and price, Ramsay deals in taste, consistency, nutritional value and price. He knows his sht and i love Ramsay. "Tech you're in a max suit, you have 15 mins to unfk yourself or you can fk off." - Stumpycat C/O of Goon Brigade.
TerranKnight87 Seituoda Taskforce Command Caldari State 252	Posted - 2015.03.14 00:22:00 - [4] - Quote 1e 3peat wrote: BrotherofHavok wrote: Addiction is a difficult subject for anyone. Personally I had a friend who was also an addict. As far as I know he took anything that could be found along the eastern seaboard of the US. One of the biggest things I found to help was to keep him distracted. It took me and about a dozen others but we made sure that someone was with him pretty much every hour of the day. We started small at first, just a quick meal or a drink. We hung out, watched youtube clips and then moved up to full dvds. Eventually getting him to open up enough to go out to eat or see a movie. The more and more we kept him busy the less he seemed to take until eventually we had that intervention stuff. Thankfully we waited long enough to the point where he really was using so little that he recognized what he had become (a video camcorder helped record what he looked like before we started) and agreed that he needed to stop. Shortly after that he checked himself into a rehab center. Now he's been clean for about 3 years and he's starting to date again. No matter what the advice you get from others and the internet, you have to take into consideration the long term effects and potential risks of anything you do. If you're as good a friend as you seem to be (been there for years) then you should be able to understand a little how he would react to anything you try. Use that to decide what to do. THIS^ Recovered addicts are beautiful things. They are much nicer and understand much more than the average person. They can loose a lot but become humble with it, even when they succeed and get rich later. Mostly just distract him and give him reasons to not focus on the drugs or what is a hard life for him. He is probably doing this as a way of personal control when what he wants is a fresher life with more freedom from his mom and never had the support (obviously). I'm in my mid twenties and if I was still at home my parents would get me serious help! And not rehab, a life, a stable emotional state. No matter how YOU look at this his suffering is WAY far and beyond yours and he will want that understood, probably why he thinks you're calling him a jerk. I have not commented on his addiction to him as i have said. He is getting irrational over trivial convo where we have different opinions and his attitude escalates to where he behaves the way he did when he was adddicted to speed which was violent. Also he lives at his mums at 28. If that's not too much support then i dont know what is. He has done nothing to better his situation ever from what i have seen either. We're talking about a 28 year old here who lives with his mum who is depressed from his own lack of attempting to change and smokes ****** while playing games to pas the time. Well he says he does it about once or twice a month but i think it's more but i cannot be sure. "Tech you're in a max suit, you have 15 mins to unfk yourself or you can fk off." - Stumpycat C/O of Goon Brigade.
TerranKnight87 Seituoda Taskforce Command Caldari State 252	Posted - 2015.03.14 00:28:00 - [5] - Quote 1e 3peat wrote: Proto Annihilator wrote: There is a rock bottom he will have to reach. For some it is death. You should stop associating with him. Change does not happen until we become disgusted with our behavior. Solitude speeds the process. This is the other side of it. And if you're a toxic friend group bringing him into his "madness" then you would do him a favor to get the **** out and get him away from his mom as well. Personally if I had a friend like Proto Annihilator and I was an addict I would break ties with him to assist my recovery. The choice is help him or leave him. I have decied that if it escalates, i am going to tell him mum and arrange for her to walk in randomly and catch him. She is going to scream at me like no tomorrow for not saying anything in the first place as well and will probably just go all out. When he is like this he gets violent (or at least did in the past) and knows martial arts up to black belt grade so this is a very fked up situation and not so simple. Also i dont understand what you mean by "a toxic friend group bringing him into his "madness". Noone is briniging him into anything and as it stands he is the most 'toxic' person i know right now. and potentially very dangerous. I know some martial arts but not like him. "Tech you're in a max suit, you have 15 mins to unfk yourself or you can fk off." - Stumpycat C/O of Goon Brigade.
TerranKnight87 Seituoda Taskforce Command Caldari State 252	Posted - 2015.03.14 10:21:00 - [6] - Quote 1e 3peat wrote: Toxic friend group. Okay, are you providing him drugs, is a friend from school days or a close friend providing him drugs? I don't know that you should intervene by manipulating rather get him a counselor that has experienced addictive behavior before this is important because you don't exactly understand what you're dealing with here mate. It's pretty horrible but to him it's help, he needs help in other ways so he can let go of his stone grip (and tunnel vision) on one of his invincibility granting stupors. What ever you do try and down play it from the mother's perspective, say it will help him get a job or whatever and let him keep his pride and dignity and don't tell her the main cause (the addiction). If you shred him like that with the mother you might make him beat her or worse so just try and get him resolved peacefuly. Talk with him about it. Distractions are only good if he's getting off of it btw. Use them to make him care about other stuff and just encourage him to back off it. If he slows down he has a chance of seeing his failure and want to correct that, right now he blocked that off and he wants to numb it that makes it seem worse than it is. Just unnumb him if that makes sense as friends normally do. Fighting probably gives him a release he's really just seeing and fighting himself everywhere. Of course im not and i thought that would be pretty clear from everything i have said. What part of anyting i have said even comes to close to sugggesting that i or any of our friends are giving him drugs?. I do not do any drugs other than weed and never have done really and that's a once a month affair. How could i make him do anything? Are you really saying that if i tell his mum and she goes mad (and quite rightly so as she is housing his lazy arse) that I might make him beat her?, how does that work?. I have two options really, Tell her and have her walk in and find out 'randomly' OR do nothing and let him find out for himself but he is so far gone now seriously. I don't think he is going to realise himself by the way he has been behaving. "Tech you're in a max suit, you have 15 mins to unfk yourself or you can fk off." - Stumpycat C/O of Goon Brigade.
TerranKnight87 Seituoda Taskforce Command Caldari State 252	Posted - 2015.03.14 10:24:00 - [7] - Quote 1e 3peat wrote: Someone with such heavyness and need to manup should probably have an ssri when they're off drugs for like 6 months. It's rough getting on those he might have weird drug using like initial side effects for the first month on it and should just chill out and try to mitigate those effects it's almost like the brain firing those receptors and rewriting them with "normal" life as he's living it. At that point he should know how to live life a little better, that's the key, and hope for a better year next year. Don't quote me scientifically on that **. It's just I have a friend in rehab and some other life experience under my belt. Yes you're pretty much right. ** fks with the receptors in the brain and affects the limbic nerve system http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limbic_system. Smoking has the same addictive affect as **** on the brain but it's not as bad. "Tech you're in a max suit, you have 15 mins to unfk yourself or you can fk off." - Stumpycat C/O of Goon Brigade.
TerranKnight87 Seituoda Taskforce Command Caldari State 252	Posted - 2015.03.14 10:33:00 - [8] - Quote 1e 3peat wrote: Also man up and tell him what to do, just make sure you don't get demanding. Tell him you're trying to be on his side. I have already said what i am going to do and that is to tell his mum to walk in 'accidentally' . I'm going to do that if it escalates though. It's her son living in her house, not mine and he's been bullshting her for ages that he can't find a job when really he's sat playing games 24/7, popping anti depressants like they're sweets and painkillers as well and now he's on the ****. I have told him once what i thought when he first told me he has been smoking it and all i said was that i am worried and that **** has a definite biological and chemical effect on the brain that you simply cannot think your way out of. He got aggressive and started shouting that i am calling him an idiot and he told me to fk myself. I have been though this before when he was addicted to speed, i've already 'manned up' to him once and got beaten for it and he knows wing chun kung fu, ninjitsu and thai kickboxing so there is basically fk all that pretty much anyone can do if he gets mad. "Tech you're in a max suit, you have 15 mins to unfk yourself or you can fk off." - Stumpycat C/O of Goon Brigade.
TerranKnight87 Seituoda Taskforce Command Caldari State 252	Posted - 2015.03.14 10:55:00 - [9] - Quote 1e 3peat wrote: I mean instigating, it's better to be straight up. He just doesn't want to be backed into a corner he might get violent. You won't "make" him do it. And I had to ask about the dealer because that's usually how it goes with friends and drugs and I have no evidence over the internet but your word so it's good you or a friend you could talk to isn't "assisting" him in obtaining that **. The other thing is that will make you dumb as **, just really slow. So he needs to be told his options and think very slowly about what to do about it. Tell him it's happening but don't say you will do it right then or start an argument. Yeah i'm going to put my opinion to him but in a way that it's me clearly stating my opinion but i am going to do it over the net. He nearly broke my ribs and my whole face was swollen when he beat me before and i could barely function properly in everday lifefor about a month and i didn't phone the police or anything. If that happens again then i will wash my hands of him but i dont want that as he is a great guy or at least was. When i talk about anything on the level with people i am Always very patient and calm and never ever resort to getting angry or insults EVER. That only happens with online game forums but i think it's safe to say that almost everyone behaves a bit more uncouth with online game forums and such lol. "Tech you're in a max suit, you have 15 mins to unfk yourself or you can fk off." - Stumpycat C/O of Goon Brigade.
TerranKnight87 Seituoda Taskforce Command Caldari State 252	Posted - 2015.03.14 10:57:00 - [10] - Quote 1e 3peat wrote: Yep the lambic system controls all sorts of functions necessary for feeling things other than anger, anxiousness, and grey. Every addict learns to identify that grey. Once you imbalance it like that you get the grey. I'm Sure he knows about it from the ****** but doesn't unders what he needs to do and needs to think about it and do it all on his own. Tell him he can get a councillor but he's gotta just listen to himself, he doesn't want this he's just stone walled in his own little hell tiny paranoid ideas dancing in his head. Yes mate. I'm sure he doesn't like his situation one bit but he does nothing to help it really and never has. I need to think about how i am going to put all this to him as it could easily end with him trying to smash through my door my front door or some sht when he is like this. "Tech you're in a max suit, you have 15 mins to unfk yourself or you can fk off." - Stumpycat C/O of Goon Brigade.

TerranKnight87 Seituoda Taskforce Command Caldari State 253	Posted - 2015.03.14 11:00:00 - [11] - Quote I really appreciate the advice guys and i am glad im not alone in some respects. It's a shtty thing. "Tech you're in a max suit, you have 15 mins to unfk yourself or you can fk off." - Stumpycat C/O of Goon Brigade.
TerranKnight87 Seituoda Taskforce Command Caldari State 253	Posted - 2015.03.14 11:27:00 - [12] - Quote 1e 3peat wrote: Yeah sorry man glad I could help a little. Nothing is a depressing as good advice. o7 This is helping me a lot as well as i am the only person who knows all this sht other than before with his speed addiction as he hurt alot of people. I don't believe in talking about other peoples business to others and stuff nor do i think anyone has the right to tell anyone what they should or shouldn't do within reason. So i kind of feel trapped with this sht bbut i am going to put it to him what i think. Telling his mum is the last resort really as she is going to fking FLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP at me for not saying anything about him munching down on anti depressants and opiate painkillers as well. It is proper fked mate lol. She is a decnt woman though, maybe too decent if you ask me to have allowed him to go on like this for so long. She should have kicked him up the arse to get his sht in gear a long time ago but she is a single mother so it must be hard for her and i think she likes the company. "Tech you're in a max suit, you have 15 mins to unfk yourself or you can fk off." - Stumpycat C/O of Goon Brigade.
TerranKnight87 Seituoda Taskforce Command Caldari State 253	Posted - 2015.03.15 19:01:00 - [13] - Quote Heimdallr69 wrote: I once oded back in highschool, well I pitched and had a ruptured tendon.. I guess my point is once you start it's really hard to quit, it's quite possible but no one will ever stop for themselves. If your friend is like me and feels all alone even though it's far from the truth then it'll get a bit messy. I've been clean for 2 years now, and I still get really strong temptations, that is something he'll have to live with for the rest of his life I'm not familiar with that term pitched. Do you mean taking performance enhancing drugs?. "Tech you're in a max suit, you have 15 mins to unfk yourself or you can fk off." - Stumpycat C/O of Goon Brigade.