Silver Strike44
317
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Posted - 2014.12.19 23:27:00 -
[1] - Quote
The gang is split into three teams. Team one, consisting of Skel, Ben, and Bob, is moving through a jungle. Ben's leg is injured. Thunder, Harry, and Ken, team two, have just entered a gigantic temple. Devin is almost done killing every last inhabitant of a Minmatar village while the other two members of team three, Myth and Patrick, watch.
Patrick: Do you think he will let any of them live?
Myth: Bruh.
Patrick: I didn't think so.
Devin grabs the last villager by the duct tape and puts his shotgun to her head. She is just a little girl. He waits a few moments to listen to her pleads for mercy then ends her life. He walks back to his team.
Myth: Bruh.
Devin: It had to be done. Let's get going.
Patrick: Are we actually going to try to complete the mission now?
Devin: Of course, but if we happen to see some Minmatar scum along the way, then I will murder them.
Patrick: This is wrong, you can't just kill innocent people like this.
Devin: I know. It's wrong to kill people for no reason. The Minmatar aren't people.
Patrick: Yes they are!
Devin: If you defend them any more, I will have to kill you, too.
Myth: Bruh.
Devin: That goes for you, too. Now, let's get moving.
Team one has just arrived at the edge of a lake.
Bob: Water!
Ben: Stop.
Skel: You can't drink that you fgt, you'll die.
Bob: Why? It seems fine to me.
Skel: Are you serious? It's brown. The one thing I've learned from Ken is brown is bad.
Bob: Fine, I won't drink it.
Ben: Help.
Bob: Skel, look at his leg, I don't think he's going to make it.
Skel: He'll make it. It's time to go, fgts.
After walking for a short while, they see a large structure in the distance. All of a sudden, they are being fired on by an entire Latino army.
Bob: Where did they come from?
Skel: I don't know, fgt. Run.
Bob: Ben can't run! What are we supposed to do about that?
Ben: Go.
Ben turns around and opens fire on the army. He is quickly torn apart by their bullets, but he manages to buy Skel and Bob a little bit of time. They are now running towards the large structure.
Bob: Skel, I'm scared.
Skel: I know, fgt, I can smell it. Just keep running. Don't stop.
Bob: What are you going t--
Skel turns around and runs straight at the army. He disappears from Bob's view. Bob hears screams, but keeps running. Meanwhile, team two is searching for munson's REs in the temple. They hear the screams, too.
Harry: I wish he could make me scream like that.
Ken: Who?
Thunder: Don't ask him questions.
Ken: Why?
Thunder: Because he will answer them. Now, where could these REs be?
Ken: I don't know, but we have been walking in a straight line down this hall for a while.
Harry: Who are you calling straight?
They arrive at a dead end. It is just a wall with a triangle-shaped hole about three times the size of a normal human's ******* in it.
Thunder: A dead end. Great.
Ken: What now?
Harry: I have an idea.
Thunder: Shut the **** up you *****. You can't do anything. You can't say anything that matters, you can't help this team, and you certainly can't get us past this ****ing wall.
Harry pulls his dildo out of his back "pocket" and sticks it in the hole. It fits perfectly. The wall sinks into the floor, revealing a secret room with what looks like the REs in the middle on a pedestal. There is Latino writing all over the walls.
Harry: Good thing I didn't give my magic stick to Bob.
Ken: Latinos. It's always Latinos.
Thunder: You're still a *****, Harry.
Harry: Aw, thanks.
The three of them enter the room and inspect the REs on the pedestal.
Ken: Are these them?
Thunder: Maybe. We had better be careful, though, this could be some sort of tr--
Harry picks up the REs. The ceiling above them begins to crumble. The whole temple is falling apart.
Thunder: We've got to get out of here. Everybody go.
They head back through the hall they came down originally. Thunder is in front, followed by Harry, then Ken.
Thunder: We're almost out guys, just keep moving.
A boulder falls on Ken. He is pinned to the floor.
Ken: Leave me. You have the REs, just finish the mission. **** Latinos.
Thunder and Harry escape the temple just before it fully collapses.
Thunder: You idiot! You got Ken killed!
Harry: But I didn't even get to have sex with his corpse.
Thunder: Just give me the REs and let's get back to the extraction point.
The two of them see Bob running directly at them.
Bob: Run! There's an army after me.
The three of them run into the nearby jungle in an attempt to evade the army. They find Devin, Patrick, and Myth.
Devin: What's happening?
Thunder: We have the REs and an army is after us. We have to get to the extraction point.
Patrick: Where's everyone else? Ben? Skel? Ken?
Bob: They're gone.
Myth: Bruh.
Thunder: We have to go. Now!
On the way to the extraction point, the gang comes across a huge fence that stretches as far as the eye can see. It takes the a while to get over it. The Latinos hop the fence like they had done it many times before and catch the gang at the extraction point. The gang have not yet noticed this.
Devin: Where's Big D? He should be here.
Bob: I see hi--
A shot goes through Bob's skull. His body falls to the ground.
Devin: Everybody down!
The gang lays down covering fire while Big D lands his ADS.
Big D: Get in!
As soon as they take off, they are shot down by a plasma round.
Thunder: How did that even happen?
Big D: I don't know. There's a first time for everything. Bail!
After landing, the gang begins returning fire on the army. The gang is nearly overwhelmed until Skel shows up and attacks the army from behind. This give the gang the chance to take out the army.
Patrick: We thought you were dead.
Skel: I would have died...if I was a fgt.
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