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CLONE ALPHA 001
G.L.O.R.Y
Dark Taboo
24
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Posted - 2014.09.27 04:31:00 -
[1] - Quote
Dear Newberry Battelbro
I am glad to see that you have decided to join me in battle, so cute in your frontline dropsuit, all shiny and fresh from the MCC. your so squishy and fresh just how i love my little blueberries <3 and eager to show your Stuff charging head first into the evil vicious redberry protostomper swarm screaming your battle cry at the top of your lungs over the comnet "LEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOY" only to be shredded and perforated by a hail of HMG and Scrambler rifle beams. 
you scream in agony as you crumple to the ground crying out "logi pick meh up plox!  " only to be turned into a puddle of red gooey biomass seconds later by a mass driver shell. ahhhhh so innocent and naive this is you first lesson don't try to be a hero stick with squad lead or have a logibro hold your hand when you go to the objective, they will care for you my sweet little n00bling there are bad redberries with knives and shotguns cloaked out there behind every crate and corner waiting to do horrible things to your fresh body. you dont have the EHP or SP to do things by yourself yet BB.
Please when you die, die quietly  no one likes a whiner and a cry baby and your tough i know you can take it so dont beg to be revived besides your fits are free and you will learn that the real pain comes from losing isk not blood and guts so shrug that **** off and drop back in at the nearest CRU or uplink then form up and shut up <3
when you see me cruising around the burnzone in my pimped out credron methana I know that one thing which your heart desires SOOOOO MUCH! and it is only to ride with me and ravage the battlefield hand and hand as we laugh like psychotic maniacs cause we road killed that dumb slowass heavy. and you may ride BUT there are some rules. you are a new berry so i MUST insist the you only ride shotgun you can hop out and help me kill the bad red berries if you like and hack ALL the things but please PLEASE!!! DO NOT!!! try to drive. i know i know what you're thinking "hey he's on the gun ill drive us around and he can do the killing!" my sweet BB im glad you're thinking but just think what i tell you to think you will die less that way.
first I cannot hit **** with a railgun when the LAV is in motion and second i like to camp the redberry CRU and DERP them as they spawn and driving a LAV is not like Playing GTLAV 5 back in your merc quarters stationside. LAV's have "unique" handling properties and are prone to flipping, i would hate to see your beautiful body crushed under it my dear. Also DO NOT touch 20GJ Particle accelerator in the back that is for big boys only you will just get sniped off of it and im not driving back to the CRU to pick you up again AND! dont change the music or i will send you back to the CRU the fast way <3
many more lessons will come and you will die lots but its ok cause that's why we got that thingy in our heads but soon you will be the one doing the killing and i will always be by your side watching your back sharing my scans and picking you up when fall provided your close and there are no redberries shooting me 
you will forever be the squad lead of my heart my Dear BB
lovingly
Alpha |
CLONE ALPHA 001
G.L.O.R.Y
Dark Taboo
26
|
Posted - 2014.09.27 05:43:00 -
[2] - Quote
Dreis Shadowweaver wrote:Awwwww, that's sweet... <3
And disturbing...
im sorry if you're disturbed i just want to be honest with you about my feelings <3 |
CLONE ALPHA 001
G.L.O.R.Y
Dark Taboo
27
|
Posted - 2014.09.27 05:54:00 -
[3] - Quote
Leadfoot10 wrote:Loved the story (right up to the scrub tactic of CRU camping with a light rail).
Liked.
ahh a new lesson for my dear BB, see how this evil redberry will use psychological warfare and try to make you feel bad about killing them. remember BB redberries must die any way you can kill them all tactics are fair game do not let them use the pathetic "honour tank" |
CLONE ALPHA 001
G.L.O.R.Y
Dark Taboo
27
|
Posted - 2014.09.27 05:55:00 -
[4] - Quote
Leadfoot10 wrote:8/10
-1 for poor capitialization and grammar.
-1 for use of the scrub tactic of CRU camping with a methana / rail.
Nicely done.
1. im not good at typing stuff up sorry.
2. redberries must die! |
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