This is all I saw

Sadly, I know you lot pretty well by now and I dont want the thread locked

The door flew off it's hinges as a black boot bursted threw the centre, landing firmly on Kujo's "QQ Kain" door matt.

I'm bored, need something to distract me from working, and could do with 10 million ISK, I guess. Here goes.


It had been a long 2 hours. Kujo leaned around to look into the window once more. It was still going on. The noise was loud, and humiliating for Kujo. Kain had gotten bored with the Ancient Exiles CEO... moving onto a younger subject to toy with: Patrick57. As a sign of dominance, Kain demanded Kujo stay to guard the entrance of the sacred venue, 'Cubs Sammich Shop' while the carnal antics inside ensued...

"I don't deserve this" Kujo muttered to himself. "My directors are off fighting Rebel scum and what do I get? Guard duty".
Kujo scuffed his feet across the ground outside. Back and forth... back and forth... trying to keep his mind occupied. He almost made a rhythm out of it. It wasn't soon after he began that his phone rang. "YES!" Kujo thought, "This could be my ticket out of here". Kujo picked up the phone and a loud voice spluttered
"Ugh, hey man I don't know if the thing with the... *HICK*.. its good but you know we miss you but uh, stay *HICK* true to your goal." Kujo slammed his phone to the ground. On the other end was Free Beers, drunk again at one of his Pattaya Party Palace parties. "Damn him" Kujo thought. He knew, however, that Beers was only trying to make him feel better. For it was once Beer's duty to stand guard.

The door opened behind Kujo, and he fell back letting out a soft whimper. Landing hard on his back, he looked up to see Kain towering over him, smiling from the corner of his mouth. A slight drop of saliva slipped from the corner of his mouth onto Kujo's forehead. Kujo shot up immediately, stood to attention and raised his hand to his brow forming a stiff salute. "SIR" he exclaimed, his voice crackling with anxiety.

"It's all ogre now" Kain softly uttered.

Kujo stuttered for a moment "Wh.. what?"

"I said we must go now, I've received word that Radar and Traky have launched another raid on one of our outposts".

"Which one, sire?" Kujo replied

"DDB's district"

"Right... so why are we going"

"After Top Men. secured a victory I feel it's best to assure safety. My Blue doughnut cannot be tampered with, it is mine... my own... my precious."

A voice came from the dark room behind Kain "Come now Kujo, do as your master says". It was Patrick, taunting Kujo, knowing that in that very moment he had full power of him. Kujo did nothing but clench his fist, tightly, to which Kain chuckled to himself.

"Come now, boy. We have a war to fight". Kain slapped Kujo's back, and the two men headed to the hangar bay. His hand was heavy and warm.. leaving a slightly moist imprint on Kujo's back. Kujo gritted his teeth "Yes, master". It was in that moment that Kujo knew what he had to do. He couldn't just let Kain use him, tell him he meant something and then cast him aside when all of his men were taken into Escrow. No... Kujo knew he had to be the one to end this now. "Kain is responsible for the Blue doughnut" Kujo thought to himself "But. I. Will. End it".

For days the thoughts of rebellion plagued Kujo's mind. How would he do it? When? With who to side with him? These questions were detours from the true question at the back of his mind "Can I really beat them?". Ancient Exiles. has had a long history of using Escrow Ringers, while players such as Rampage were forced to warm the proverbial bench. No, this time he would use his own men. Kujo's thoughts were abruptly halted by a large explosion outside, followed by a rage of gunfire and screams. Kujo cowered behind his bed covers, slamming down on his emergency 'Marauder' button... praying to the empress to be saved by his beloved director. A knock came to his door as the commotion outside died down.. quite literally. Kujo tried to speak, but his voice could not find itself, all that came out instead was a mere squeak of desperation.

The door flew off it's hinges as a black boot bursted threw the centre, landing firmly on Kujo's "QQ Kain" door matt. The man in front of him was of an average height, a modest blonde haircut and oddly small feet.. but what Kujo's attention was drawn to first was what was in this man's hand. Chicagocub's severed head gently dangled from the grasp of the man at Kujo's door, eyes rolled to the back and blood seeping from his neck. Kujo was trembling, his heart nearly bursting through his chest with anxiety. Then the man spoke "Come on with me if you want to live". It was Radar.

Kujo always had a soft spot for Radar... though he'd never admit it to his former fellows. He was a brave rebel leader. Capable of winning the war against DNS, whom had formed under Kain's fist to farm the profits of war.

Kujo reached out to grab ahold of his new master, but he couldn't. Something was wrong... the more he reached the furhter away he got. Radar began to laugh as Kujo's vision became blurry. The head of Cubs joined in with a harmonically mocking cackle and the world in front of Kujo's eyes slipped from his mind.

Kujo's eyes opened. Kain was towering over him. They were back at the sammich shop. "No... how..." Kujo murmured as he rose to his feet.

"That was quite a fall there, try and be more careful, you'll disturb Patrick you know how he is". "Now, get up and get back to the door". Kain pushed Kujo outside and slammed the door behind him. Kujo rubbed his head in dismay. It had all been a dream.


It had been a long 2 hours.

Ironically enough, even though I don't post often, I've already posted in the past month touching base with alot of these popular trends. Most of the following are copied posts. (exception of 1.) and 5.) )
It may not be in the right format, but I'm coming off a 10-day sickness binge so f-off.


1.) I was browsing through my forum message archive, to find with delight I had been fighting the forum war on all fronts
I will aid my "rebel scum" allies in the motion of dethroning the cruel rulers of molden health by elminating their voice throughout our most sought after galaxy.


2 Include references to leaders of DNS (the ones i know or it doesnt count)

DNSBLACK can go suck a big D with his personal PC league he wants to set in place after 100%, after having wanting participants to join DNS.
We procured a district away from DNS and will hold onto it like a black persons last menthol before the the 1st of the month.


3 traky and radar must be praised for being rebel scum

Lol, why is fiddle so bitter? I thought holding grudges over stupid **** is a highschool girl trouble.

Every corp has a problem and Radar isn't the sole root of evil in this game.
I've stood by radar as a director with his decisions, it brought ALOT of good fights and many of O.H. has always supported
the direction we head in. Hell the fact we are still here after 2 lost wars is more then most corps can say.
Without us around, it'd be just that much more boring around here.

MUCH better then becoming a big blue donut-puncher.

O.H. has never been the best and will be here for the long run to put up as many good fights as possible.
This corp wouldn't be the same if all the top-end corps didn't want us to crash and burn. It's actually pretty cute that Radar has this many fans. There are alot of good friendly people in O.H. and radar has done a MOST EXCELLENT job keeping us together.

This is a friggin game fiddle, not a teenage girl life simulator.


4 kane and only kane must be blamed for the blue donut because of his super secret cpm knowledge that helped him conquer

Posted repsonse against creating an opposition to rival Kain's 100% blue donut and how there are plenty of good players left outside of the alliance to put up a fight:

Lol if everyone outside of the alliance didn't hate each other already.

What your saying is waaaay too much diplomacy and d1ck sucking. Lol.
Being a professional E-w h o r e is a tough job.


5.) (Not a actual post) So I hear a new gay club opened up, Beers Pattaya Party Palace and 2for tuesdays on Ladyboys, damn AE and friends keep me on the waitlist.


6 cubs sammich shop must be included

Lol, Cubs you hate everyone dont you? I'm trying not to reply to you as it's always a losing forum war on both sides. =P
Just watching you and radar go at it all the time reminds me of two sassy strong independent black women, who aint need no man in their life, fighting on Jerry Springer.

Look there...

"keep posting tho, it makes it sooo easy to get people to log on when you do so."
This is kinda an awesome thing, more vets continue to log in to bring the good fight.

Also, i'm really sorry to single you out fiddle. I wish not to incur the wrath of the quasi-PMS'd grade school female clique.


7 At least 1 victory against DNS must be reference with colorful metaphors

No Post to copy in here, I'm unfortunately not a mega e-peen warrior.


8 Any or all sex should be referenced not explained in detail. Please follow forum rules here


Several sex references in my posts without descriptions. For full in depth details, join OH corp chats, not one man goes un-pleasured.



9 You must give how the blue donut will break up (NS attacks everyone and changes timer to 1200 and no one can be bothered etc)

I don't mind the super blue.

Every fight against them is full of top notch players. playing said players is the most fun i have in this game currently.

I do agree with you Gildart in the aspect that with such a power house of a giant blue coward donut, we are a long ways out from anything to counter them. Your best hope that they get tired of sucking each other off and move on. Unforunately, it takes some time to get bored of consistently winning against weaker opposition while raking in crazy amounts of ISKies.

Donuts rise and donuts split.

You forgot number 11.

Hate on any corp that uses ringers.

You forgot number 11.

Hate on any corp that uses ringers.

Bane... why must I be in your story? :|

I needed someone young and I thought of you. <3

I needed someone young and I thought of you. <3

Patrick is property of Fatal Absolution, any mention of his name costs 10million isk. please transfer isk to Wolfica for holding. we thank you for your contribution to the FA proto pub stomp foundation

Patrick is property of Fatal Absolution, any mention of his name costs 10million isk. please transfer isk to Wolfica for holding. we thank you for your contribution to the FA proto pub stomp foundation

Any questioning of Bane Spero is a criminal offence under the Bane Act 2014.

10 million ISK fine.

Patrick is the joke of Fatal Absolution, you can have him for 10million isk. please transfer isk to Wolfica for holding. we thank you for your contribution to the FA proto pub stomp foundation

Fixed...

When is the winner announced? :D

It was a glorious Friday for Wittle-Kane. His mom had setup a playdate with his new neighbors Dubsy and Icey. They had had such fun as Wittle-Kane ordered his minion Kujo to repeatedly spank ZataraGÇÖs bottom until it was bright red for his disobedience. Unfortunately, it seemed as if they both liked it. Now it was time to head over to his best friend CubbyGÇÖs treehouse that they liked to call the sammich shop for some much needed GÇÿtickle timeGÇÖ.

As Wittle-Kane got to CubbyGÇÖs place, he noticed his friend was staring out the window.

GÇ£Whas goin on dude?GÇ¥ Kane said in his nasally voice

It was not often that Cubby actually got off his couch to see what the outside world was like so it must be a big deal.

GÇ£Its those jerkheads from the other school. Radar and Tracky. Ever since we all joined the new private school, they have been causing trouble. They steal all of the ice cream from the special ed kids in DDB and tease all of the exchange students.GÇ¥

Kane pondered this for a while. He didnGÇÖt want to get into a fight due to his noodle-like arms and concave chest. Heck, the whole reason that he had his dad setup the private school and invite all the cool kids was so that he would have some friends who could protect him from the bullies. He had gotten the idea from Kujo whose dad had been paying a lot of the kids $100 a week hang out with him.

Wittle-Kane mustered up what courage he could GÇ£Ok, I have to do something about this. My dad is on the school district board and Im sure I can get those two expelled for some made up reason.GÇ¥

Proud of himself, Wittle-Kane decided to share his brilliant plan with the other members of DNS Academy.

GÇ£Im going to go over to KujoGÇÖs and tell him what is going on. You wanna come?GÇ¥

GÇ£Sorry man. If they see me walking around outside, the government might take away my momGÇÖs child support paymentsGÇ¥ Cubby said sadly

Not to be flustered, Wittle-Kane set off on his own.

When he arrived at KujoGÇÖs, his mom let Wittle-Kane in with a smile.

GÇ£How have you been Kane? Its been a while since Ive seen you here. Kujo is upstairs with Wahpage and YoshiGÇ¥ Mama Soul said

When Wittle-Kane got upstairs he was greeted with a very disturbing site. Wahpage wasnGÇÖt wearing any pants or underwear and he was dancing around in Mama SoulGÇÖs high heels and makeup. Kujo was laughing hard but Yoshi looked a bit flustered and was sitting with a pillow on his lap.

Wittle-Kane backed down the stairs and decided that it might be best if he talked with Zatara and Cubby about finding a new home for Kujo and his friends because they werenGÇÖt quite right. Kujo had seemed a little off since his father Appia had left his mom for the bearded lady at the circus.

On his way home, he saw a couple of the neighborhood home-schooled kids running after a couple of the exchange students from his school. He decided to follow them and see what was going on. The homescooled had apparently cornered one of the exchange students and were throwing rocks at him. Normally, this wouldnGÇÖt be happening, but they had done it when most of Wittle-KaneGÇÖs friends were home at dinner. Wittle-Kane wanted to help, but he had never been a good fighter. After seeing the beatdown, Wittle-Kane thought maybe he would keep Kujo around for a little longer. He didnGÇÖt want to make any more enemies and he had had his father create the new school so he wouldnGÇÖt have to get in any fights in the first place.

It was getting late so he decided to head home. Tomorrow was always another day in the peaceful town of Modlen Heath.

The tension of the potential victory is killing me. WHO WILL WIN?! D:

No winner? :(