Our Deepest Regret
The Unholy Legion Of DarkStar
DARKSTAR ARMY
370
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Posted - 2013.12.14 12:03:00 -
[1] - Quote
So, I ran with a few squads today. In the first group, before we got started, I wrote something to the effect of "I'm going to spam Somas like a son of a *****. Who needs skill when you've got money?" Clearly a joke, right? It got real quiet in chat, though.
In our pub skirmish match, much to my disappointment, there were two friggin' mardrugars in that game that were good. I ended up spending the round fighting them in my Gunny, whilst my teammates in their somas died a bunch of times while racking up kills with their blaster turrets. I ended up killing the Maddys, and being killed in return. I ended the game at 2-2. I was jubilant! What great team work. Alternating between hunter and prey was quite the adrenaline rush!
We lost the game. Oh, well, it was still a lot of fun.
When we're back in chat, Lord Puffington goes on this rant about the unalienable goodness of somas. He points to his 11-6 which he got by shooting at people who couldn't fight back, and still managing to die somehow, as proof that I'm full of **** for my "No skill" jest. I'm flabbergasted. Did I not just contribute to his success by keeping two capable tanks off his dumb arse? Apparently it didn't matter. "U SUCk" seethed his lordship in righteous anger, before abruptly departing our squad to grace more receptive commoners with his puffy goodness. I confess to being taken aback, both by his lack of humor, and his utterly serious demeanor. "Our Deepest Regret," I said to myself in confusion. "Is that tw-t being serious?"
He was. Oh, yes. He was. And his attitude was far from uncommon.
And then it occurred to me that with the broken dynamic betwixt militia HAV pricing and performance, this arrogant gash was going to keep on going 11-5 against helpless cunnies who couldn't fight back, whilst continuing to convince himself that he was earning those kills with "skill," and "talent" instead of: "Park at objective A-through-D and spam your militia blaster turret until that red line fills the meter, then wait eight seconds and do it again."
Oh, he'd certainly run into pub players who won't take that nonsense. Sever true blood would probably hang him from a coat hook by his anus. Nyain San would go "tee-hee-hee," while pissing on the burning remains of his Soma. Hell, he might even run into squad B and get taken out by a quasi-internet celebrity. Didn't matter though. Because IN HIS MIND, they would just be exploiters and cheats, and he, Lord Puffington, would be in the right, because HE WAS LORD PUFFINGTON. And his Soma could do no wrong.
And now, it grows late, and I find myself ruminating on the possibility of his Lordship, and those who think like him. Where did this batch of vile c-words spring from, who dare believe they deserve their easy kills, and their inexpensive deaths? Are they a wart on the tip of the vehicle users community, or the face of the future? |