|Posted - 2016.12.21 22:16:00 -
 - Quote
Neck: So now will you show me your cooch?
Ice: I still don't think I should...
Neck: Why the fu ck not?
Ice: I still have a boyfriend...
Neck: I bet I'm way more of a man than he is.
Ice: I don't know...
Neck: What the fu ck does that mean?
Ice: Well, it's just that you couldn't even win one of the debates and he...
Neck: Spit it out, *****.
Ice: Nobody's more of a man than he is.
Neck: Bullsh it.
Ice: If you met him, you would know what I mean.
Neck: OK, introduce us. I'd like to have a little chat with him.
Ice: I don't think that's a good idea.
Neck: And why the fu ck not?
Ice receives another Skype call.
Neck: Who the fu ck is calling you?
Neck: It's him, isn't it?
Neck: Add to him to the call then.
Alias: Can you go pick up some McDonald's for me, Ice?
Neck: This fat fu cking piece of **** is your boyfriend?
Neck: He has at least four fu cking chins.
Alias: Hey, it's all formed into just one second chin.
Neck: He looks like some sh it off of best gore.
Alias: So, about that McDonald's?
Ice: What do you want, baby?
Alias: Let's mix it up today. How about four triple-pounders.
Ice: OK, I'll be over there in a bit. I guess I'll leave you guys to talk...
Alias: Aren't you that other guy running for president?
Neck: Yeah, and aren't you the fattest, ugliest, baby-di ck ni gger who ever lived?
Alias: Wow, you don't even have any better insults than DK.
Neck: You've talked to DK?
Alias: Yeah, he calls me every day to make fun of my neck.
Neck: Well, you deserve it, you rolling tub of lard.
Alias: At least I have a girlfriend.
Neck: Fu ck you. She should be mine.
Alias: You can have her if you find someone else who will bring me McDonald's 14 times a day.
Neck: Yeah, I can see why DK calls to sh it talk you every day.
Alias: I mean, that's not always why he calls me.
Neck: Yeah, I bet, buddy.
Alias: Yeah, he had me hack some sh it for him a little while ago.
Neck: Hack what?
Alias: Some fa ggot's Skype logs.
Neck: Those were my fu cking logs. You're the hacker?
Alias: You're the fa ggot? Oh yeah, I forgot.
Neck: Are you fu cking ********?
Alias: Hey, I'm not the one who got his logs leaked.
Neck: Your girlfriend is in all of those, you fu cking moron.
Alias: So? I got unlimited McDonald's in return.
Neck: Yeah, you got unlimited fu cking diabetes for helping a *****-ni gger who calls to troll you every day.
Alias: I already had diabetes.
Neck: This can't be real life. Why do you even answer when he calls you.
Alias: I hope that he's going to say he's bringing me McDonald's every time.
Neck: Yeah, this can't be real. How much does your fu cking neck weigh.
Alias: Why does everyone always ask me that? 1201 pounds now.
Ice enters Alias' bedroom with the food and starts sucking on Alias' neck.
Alias: I'm still on in a call with neck.
Neck: Did you just suck on his fat fu cking neck?
Ice: Oh, hi neck...
Shep takes off his reading glasses, puts down his Cosmo, and finally speaks up from the other side of Neck's bed.
Shep: All three of you must actually be lobotomized.
Ice: Who was that?
Neck: My husband.
Ice: You're married?
Neck: Yeah, *****, are you fu cking re tarded. I'm running for president. This is public information.
Ice: I don't think you should call me any more...
Neck: You must be fu cking joking with me right now. You date this fat fu cking piece of **** who loves McDonald's more than a ni gger loves KFC and you talk to me on Skype every night for the past three years while I cry or jerk off every time and this is what makes you call it quits? Just because this fu ck next to me, who won't even help me out when I jerk off to you, is my husband?
Ice: Yeah, it's pretty weird. Plus I'm only 12.
Neck: You're fu cking what?
Alias: Yeah, you didn't know that?
Neck: You're dating a 12 year old?
Alias: No, I just let her bring me McDonald's.
Neck: I just watched her suck on your fu cking neck.
Alias: At least I don't jerk off to her over Skype.
Ice: Alias, you don't consider me your girlfriend?
Alias: Not really?
Ice: Neck, I was wrong all this time. Please take me back.
Shep: Yeah, Neck, take back the girl that you've loved since she was nine years old.
Ice: I was nine and a half.
Shep: Oh, sorry, nine and a half.
Neck: Fu ck that, I'm not a pe dophile.
Shep: That's exactly what you are. How are you not?
Neck: Because I didn't know she was 12.
Ice: 12 and a half...
Shep: So you don't think it's wrong or illegal? And you're trying to run for president?
Neck: Don't you try to tell me about wrong and illegal. Aren't you supposed to be on my side?
Shep: What I'm supposed to be is railing you in the a ss right now, but your pe dophilic Skype call is going way too long.
Alias: I knew you were a fa ggot.
Neck: I'm not a fa ggot, you fa ggot.
Shep: Of course not. Just a pe dophile.
Ice: Age is just a number. You aren't a pe dophile to me.
Shep: You're the reason he's a pe dophile, actually.
Alias: Look, if Ice stops bringing me McDonald's, then I'll be forced to make a deal with DK to trade the logs of this Skype call for someone who will bring me McDonald's every day.
Neck: I don't think there's any need for that, buddy. I don't think America needs to know about this.
Ice: I won't bring Alias McDonald's a single more time. He doesn't love me, but you do Neck. I know you do...
Shep: Why does it matter if everyone knows your a pedo? They already know you're a fa ggot.
Neck: Because I'm trying to get elected, ****-****.
Shep: But all you have to do is get more points from Silver. It doesn't matter what America knows, you chimp.
Neck: Oh, yeah.
Neck hangs up the call.
Shep: Now bend over.
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