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Galm Fae
BetaMax Beta
CRONOS.
15
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Posted - 2013.07.11 02:01:00 -
[1] - Quote
To: BetaMax Employment Office
From: Galm Fae, Airborne Strike Unit
The incompetency of my flight crew knows no end. You would think the tasks I assign them wouldn't be too difficult even for a mortal; run basic repairs, diagnostics, installations, and RDV operations on any VTOL assets that I keep aboard the warbarge while in transit to a combat zone. Now, I am fully aware that as an immortal demi-god I may occasionally forget to consider the emotions and abilities of a non-combat member of our corporation, but I venture that a furrier if given enough time could preform better than the cross-eyed degenerates that we currently employ.
I realize that BetaMax is a multi-cultural interstellar corporation that employs all kinds, but by the winds, spirits forbid we employ halfway-decent Caldari technical graduates rather than these utter wastes of bio-mass that think that they can just "eyeball" a component before they solder it into place.
A majority of the flight-crew are Sebiestor natives, which is not a problem in and of itself. They excel in repairing aircraft as long as you don't mind that your ship is being held together with gum and the yellow reflective belts that we make cargo workers wear when unloading freight. (Consequently if you think that is a joke, then you really have no idea the conditions that I have to work in and the people I have to deal with in a given day.) No, the real issue arises when they insist on providing my aircraft with "improved components" without alerting me first. While I admire their innovative spirit, their lackadaisically added experimental electronic countermeasures (comprised mostly of shattered and cannibalized components from regulators, rechargers, and salvaged Sleeper tech) work fantastically for a good 45 minutes until they overload the ship's heat sink, undergo a catastrophic failure, and implode.
I hope it goes without saying that this becomes a problem.
At least they are better than the Amarr logistical staff, who in all cases have little to no knowledge of any real technical skills. Despite all the education the imperials receive, I have come to find that jobs that actually make a difference such as maintaining proper hydrolic fluid levels for a damage control module have all been left to their Minmatar slaves. The simple suggestion that you ask one of them to pick up a wrench and assist you is only ever met with a sneer as if I had just soiled my dropsuit.
There is a lone Jin Mei tech worker among the crew, whom I have taken to calling "Jackie" due to his true name being something unintelligible. I commend him deeply for his work, and could easily see him as an exception to the overall theme among the workforce where it not for his rampant addiction to gambling, crash, and partaking in online pornography over the Neocom while on duty.
By far the most irksome in the entire lot however are the two Gallente twins from Federation Space. For a race that prides themselves on their understanding of technology and drone mechanics, they are utterly lost when dealing with the Caldari technology that I employ. True, they may have had some experience working with the low-powered Incubus series of dropships, but upon placing them in front of the high-powered components in my aircraft... You might as well be asking them to reverse-engineer Talocan gravity wells. Worse yet, while attempting to complete the simple task of adjusting the flight stick, one of them (neither will confess or rat out the other) spilled there Quafe everywhere, leaving the flight controls sticky and filling the cockpit with an annoying sickly-sweet smell that may never really wash out.
With all this in mind, I plead with you, please begin to hire workers who actually know what they are doing. I can easily refer you to the Taktaa Tietoshonen Gaolu, where you will find a plethora of Caldari natives eager to work for us. I don't care if they only speak Napanii, it is better than having another incompetent RDV driver drop a Python-class VTOL into a gorge or having to pay for new seats for our electronic support planes because some baka got soft drink on the cushions.
Rikaato
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Denak Kalamari
BurgezzE.T.F
221
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Posted - 2013.07.11 09:35:00 -
[2] - Quote
You should have hired a few Brutor to help with keeping up the work morale. |
True Adamance
PIE Inc.
Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris
549
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Posted - 2013.07.11 09:37:00 -
[3] - Quote
Denak Kalamari wrote:You should have hired a few Brutor to help with keeping up the work morale. |
steadyhand amarr
Royal Uhlans
Amarr Empire
865
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Posted - 2013.07.11 10:04:00 -
[4] - Quote
Your hiring the wrong amarr types. You want to go backwater areas where their too poor to own slaves they normally quite good I have them service my angel cartal saga and it runs like beauty :-) |
Yun Hee Ryeon
Dead Six Initiative
Lokun Listamenn
61
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Posted - 2013.07.11 14:15:00 -
[5] - Quote
Respectfully, soldier, if you are using Caldari tech the best people to handle maintenance are normally those with, well, the most experience handling Caldari tech. As you are most likely aware, Caldari engineering is often both intricate and difficult to manage. Among other qualities, it is normally not constructed with safety or comfort very much in mind.
If you use very much Caldari technology, your corporation may find it worthwhile to contract for ground services with one of the Caldari megacorporations. The Caldari technician caste works with such devices day in, day out, after all. |
Delta 749
Kestrel Reconnaissance
1082
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Posted - 2013.07.12 01:35:00 -
[6] - Quote
It could have been worse friend, those federation idiots you keep around could have spilled Quafe+ all over the controls instead |
Galm Fae
BetaMax Beta
CRONOS.
19
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Posted - 2013.07.12 04:34:00 -
[7] - Quote
Delta 749 wrote:It could have been worse friend, those federation idiots you keep around could have spilled Quafe+ all over the controls instead
I thought we agreed as a species never to talk about Quafe+ again. I don't like thinking about it.
As usual, the Achura's advice prove's the most accurate. If I had it my way then every single member in my crew would be skilled technicians from the State. Unfortunately, I haven't formally been included into a flight team in my corporation yet, so I have been placed in the reserve. There isn't any shame in it, I have a lot more liberty with the contracts I can select, areas I can operate in, and the people I can coordinate with until I am called into service. The only problem is that unless I buy it myself I seem to get the scrapping from everything issued to combat teams. This includes rifles, stock clones, battlefield scavenge, and yes, even flight crew operators. It isn't really up to me who I am paired with, but if HR actually took the time to ensure the people they take in are properly trained, then maybe I wouldn't have to keep buying new VOTLs or resetting the Parental Controls on the NeoCom.
I worked (briefly) in a machine shop as a child. My father thought it would be good for me to get some hands-on experience with the technology they employed. We had a few backwater youths working among us, servicing Legion LLAVs and shining down armor plating. I have a lot of respect for the technicians who work on the lower levels in those machine shops. It isn't that I would look down on some poor Amarr farmer, I just don't feel he would be properly qualified to even touch my 2 million ISK Direwolf before I take it out for electronic support. Besides, most of the Amarr logistical officers have to handle the paperwork end of things. Do you know how many places you have to sign when you place an order for 30 Vipers? Neither do it, I make the Amarr handle it. I just wish they wouldn't be such ***holes about it.
As for the idea of allowing a Brutor on my team...
Rukkuone, but I don't feel as if that is a very good idea. I have nothing against them, I just... I don't feel up to it.
There are just some wounds even nanites can't heal. |
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