Onesimus Tarsus
Kameira Lodge Amarr Empire
315
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Posted - 2013.06.11 16:44:00 -
[1] - Quote
iceyburnz wrote:1. Other games.
Its a scientific fact that all gamers are basement dwelling neckbeards with an autism spectrum disorder. They can only play one game at a time. Ever. In fact, governments have a special department that comes to your house and kicks you in the shins everytime you try to play another game while you're on your desgnated play time for your "primary simulated environmental recreation simulation".
2. The PS4
Its obvious that Dust 514 will never come out on the PS4, simple reason. CCP and Sony hate money. I hear they were going to give PS4s away, but that would mean the poor gamer types would get confused with more than one console in thier home. Also Hilmar says he doesn't really like half the developers at CCP so he flew them to Shanghai to get rid of them. Because they make him money, and he hates that. There they spent hours of thier life, toiling away while chained to thier desks being overseen by armed gaurds. It's not Dust they are working on, they just have to type "isuck" over and over again. Also CCP never knew about the PS4, my buddy in Sony told me after the high level talks that CCP and Sony negotiated changing how the PSN works to make Dust a reality, they never mentioned the PS4 at all and had a good laugh about it after words, calling the CCP guys "suckers".
3. Bugs, bugs everywhere.
Even though eve online has been running for 10 years and is almost unrecognisable to its eariest bare bones versions, it actually hardly ever works. Those subscriber numbers are totally false. CCP never fixes bugs. Infact I'm sure a CCP dev said at one point: "bugs, we like them, its our goal at CCP to make our costumers really angry with us, because the suckers just keep playing and posting anyway, and we like to post the best angry internet posts and the wall while we make our arts and crafts we pass the time with".
4. Its Free to play.
This lie is so obvious everyone can see the horrible truth. You can download it for free. Make a character for free. Play in games for free. Be part of the social aspect for free. But if you buy aurum and pay for boosters you are magically transported to a world where free doesn't mean free and dogs and cats live together. In addition to this, CCP have a special community squad dressed in specially made Dropsuits that come to your house at night and suck out the rubys in your belly through your belly button. The more rubies you give the more CCP alters you account in order to let you win. Ever seen a guy stop taking damage at half shield, at armour or half armour? Those guys give the most rubies.
5. Community Doomsayers.
Its a fact that everyone always listen to everyone else on internet forums. It is the power of thier Moses cosplay outfits they wear when typing on the forum. These master manipulators of the general gamer population should not be under estimated. I hear though there poswer only workd when scream "YOU SHALL NOT PASS" at thier screen while typing. As an example I'd like to cite the great "eve is dead" forum blitz of 2004 when thousands of people who didn't like Eve very much, went to the forums after 3 hours of playing the game and ranted about how awful the game was. The servers promtly closed in the winter of 2004 and CCP stopped trading in 2005. I hear Hilmar, the former CEO of CCP now runs a mobile phone shop in Iceland called 'Svifn+¦kkvinn minn er fullur af +ílum".
tl;dr: A sarcastic post, designed to show the inheritant fallacy of the majority of negative posters on this forum.
The arguments are only made fallible by the hyperbolic absurdity you imbued them. I'm sure quite a few people will tolerate Dust 514 and rabidly defend it no matter how incredibly poorly the awesome concept is implemented, but that does nothing to cement its greatness or forgive its glaring flaws. To say Dust 514 and EvE in the same breath is to denigrate EvE, because after the effort applied that would make you a legitimate player in the EvE universe, Dust 514 gives you a paper doll and a part-time job grinding for a better paper doll to play dress-up with. It has been said before, but I will say it again, if Dust 514 had even a sliver of actual integration with EvE, much would be forgiven. As it stands, Dust is a warmed-over last-generation shooter used as a monetary grist mill for CCP until they can figure out how to make a real game to replace this obvious place-holder. I for one believe they can, but I disdain them for saying they already have. |