DUST Search - How to fix the newberry slaughterfest

Cosgar wrote:

I feel like we should make a Sponsor a Newberry commercial or something:

"This is little LovesToSpooge6969, and he's an aspiring new mercenary. But unfortunately his journey through immortality will be wracked with pub stomps and getting three shotted by mod stacked Duvolles on a daily basis. Eventually, he may quit altogether and go back to the casual world of CoD. That's where you come in...
With as little as 100,000ISK and a little free time you can help young LovesToSpooge6969 with the proper care and education he needs to be the best killing machine he can be. That's right, for half the rewards from a skirmish battle you can help young LovesToSpooge6969 and any other newberry like him climb the steep jagged learning cliff that is Dust 514.
Just for your donation and free time you'll receive weekly private messages asking if you have rf1 and reports on his increasing KDR, without even having to wait for your contact list to load.
Be sure to act now, because if you don't LovesToSpooge6969 and others like him will never last long enough in this game to enjoy the rush of passion one gets from killing a Protobear and teabagging his fresh corpse until he bleeds out."


Author	Thread Statistics \| Show CCP posts - 0 post(s)
Charlotte O'Dell Pink Fluffy Bounty Hunterz Noir. Mercenary Group 150	Posted - 2013.04.27 08:32:00 - [1] - Quote Honestly, if at the end of every match, we all took a newberry in a starter corp who went 5/0 under our wing for 15 minutes, they probably wouldn't hate it so much. The other day me and my squad of bunnies took a totally random new player into our squad and just by having our guidance and us to watch his back, he was going 7/2, 10/1, and 14/4. The guy barely had one million SP, but just having the guidance and a few guardian engels helped him out a lot. This is the quickest fix to the newberry slaughterfest. What a lot of us forget is how lost we were when we all started out. I had no idea what corporations were, what core skills were, or what OMS meant. Only when vets took time to help me out did I finally start going positive. Tonight, all trolling aside, I want everyone who reads this to spend 15 minutes showing a guy in the Kinsho Swords what the sharpshooter skill does and why he doesn't need to invest in nova knives or dropships. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJgQ39jCNIU&feature=youtu.be
Charlotte O'Dell Pink Fluffy Bounty Hunterz Noir. Mercenary Group 153	Posted - 2013.04.27 09:06:00 - [2] - Quote I'm absolutely sick of all these tryhards smashing newberries. We can't fix the pub stompers, but we can help those getting stomped.
Charlotte O'Dell Pink Fluffy Bounty Hunterz Noir. Mercenary Group 170	Posted - 2013.04.27 18:14:00 - [3] - Quote Cosgar wrote: I feel like we should make a Sponsor a Newberry commercial or something: "This is little LovesToSpooge6969, and he's an aspiring new mercenary. But unfortunately his journey through immortality will be wracked with pub stomps and getting three shotted by mod stacked Duvolles on a daily basis. Eventually, he may quit altogether and go back to the casual world of CoD. That's where you come in... With as little as 100,000ISK and a little free time you can help young LovesToSpooge6969 with the proper care and education he needs to be the best killing machine he can be. That's right, for half the rewards from a skirmish battle you can help young LovesToSpooge6969 and any other newberry like him climb the steep jagged learning cliff that is Dust 514. Just for your donation and free time you'll receive weekly private messages asking if you have rf1 and reports on his increasing KDR, without even having to wait for your contact list to load. Be sure to act now, because if you don't LovesToSpooge6969 and others like him will never last long enough in this game to enjoy the rush of passion one gets from killing a Protobear and teabagging his fresh corpse until he bleeds out." This is pretty accurate. If CCP doesn't give new players a "newberry zone", this game won't last a year after release. If going 25/0 against newberries gets you off then go right ahead. For the rest of you, sponsor a newberry today.
Charlotte O'Dell Pink Fluffy Bounty Hunterz Noir. Mercenary Group 170	Posted - 2013.04.27 19:00:00 - [4] - Quote I'm gonna be the Angelina Jolie of Dust.