How dare you call bacon nonsense, you heretical Jamyl Sarum?

But bacon is absolutely real, and the word itself cannot be considered nonsense.

But I resurrected the nonsense by callin you a heretical Jamyl Sarum. :D

A duck walks into a bar. He orders several drinks and gets up to leave.
The bartender yells, "Hey you forgot to pay!". The duck turns and says, "put it on my bill."
Just then a Platypus walks in and orders several drinks. The platypus gets up and
was about to leave, but then the bartender yells, "Hey you forgot to pay!". The Platypus
turns and says, "Put it on my bill."

The bartender in a bout of rage withdrew the shotgun beneath the bar and shot and killed the Platypus.
He then proceeded to drag the body into the bathroom. He locked down his bar and
shut the blinds. His bar was empty anyways, the only customers were the occasional jokes.
He returned to the Platypus and using a cleaver cut apart the marsupial and put the body parts
in black trash bags. He then brought out lie, bleach, hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, and a mop.
He cleaned the blood off the floors of the bar and sterilized.

On his way home the bartender dropped the body bags off at the local pig farmer, who needed to be
bribed before letting his pigs devour the evidence.

The next day...


LAZER BEAMS!!

I think it was a slight jab at your bacon cult. You know, because bacon is made of pigs, and some pigs, as seen above, eat Platypus.