Snaps Tremor
Tritan-Industries
Legacy Rising
41
   |
Posted - 2013.01.21 16:51:00 -
[1] - Quote
As the PS3 is lacking in essential corp-friendly social features such as a party system, cross-game voice chat and decent messaging, I put forth a new proposal for your consideration: Twisting the worst service on the PS3 to your own ends. Buckle up soldiers, because you've never faced an enemy like this.
Assuming you've never used Home before (welcome, the pure and untouched), this guide will walk you through the steps needed to:
- Not buy anything
- Not look terrible
- Avoid everyone
In return you will be rewarded with a semi-functional (but free) voice chat system, the ability to sit on a pretend sofa for an indeterminate amount of time, and exclusive access to the mostly empty Dust 514 public space.
ONE - INSTALLING
Locate the Home icon. It's right there on the PS3's main menu, and no matter how hard you try to get rid of it, it won't go away. It just sits there, waiting for you to accidentally press it. Right now you're going to do the unthinkable and press it on purpose. It'll download itself and then replace the icon with another icon. Press that too.
/// INTERMISSION ///
You may notice that Home takes a very long time to load. Do not be alarmed, as this is only for the first time, and you'll receive a 3% buff to all future loading attempts. WARNING: If you watch Home load for long enough you'll start to see ads for terrible third-party content start scrolling across the screen. Look away due to the whole staring into the abyss/abyss staring back thing. When Home is done loading, it will dump you at a message of the week screen detailing all of the latest awful things you can buy, usually flanked by two mortifyingly creepy avatars either side of it. Quickly press X to pass this cruel test.
TWO - USING
Once into Home proper, it will try to funnel you into a tutorial that teaches you how to look bad and do regrettable things with your time. Burn through the character selection and get the hell out of there, soldier.
Once you've escaped the tutorial, hold down the Start button to access the Navigator and roll over to the Explore section. Find the Dust 514 space, and jump to it. Things will start to look a bit more familiar/metallic/downbeat, but you will unfortunately still be controlling whatever slightly racist caricature you chose as your default model. To fix this, proceed to the Slay tables through the left-hand tunnel, and play a game of it.
Slay is an old Risk-like game that was going to get all graphicaled and futurified as part of EVE's Walking in Stations update, but for now makes a showing in Dust's Home space instead. Every week, winning (or according to reports, even losing) a game of Slay will net you a different full-body dropsuit from Dust, until you have all four classes available to you. An extra benefit of this is it'll also cover your horrible face. Two birds, one stone.
THREE - MASTERING
Now that you're dressed to impress, you are ready to 'hook up' with your 'buddies' and 'chill' on the 'deck'. The deck costs five dollars. Chilling costs five dollars. Your buddies probably cost five dollars. Welcome to Home.
For the corporation that wants it all, you can take things to the next level by purchasing a Club. This will enable you to have a persistent space available for up to 32 people, and these people don't need to be on your friend list to join. Home's Club system, like everything else in Home, is a little undercooked and neglected, and as the club's founder is the only one who can add things to the communal space, you'd better make sure they have a lot of disposable income to burn if you want your club space to be anything more than an empty shell.
To the brave souls who attempt to follow this guide, I salute you. To everyone else, I salute you too. I'm basically just saluting 24/7. |
Snaps Tremor
Tritan-Industries
Legacy Rising
41
|
Posted - 2013.01.22 16:33:00 -
[2] - Quote
Forgot to mention something quite important: Home is split into various regions: Euro, US, Asia/HK and Japan. Players will be able to join clubs from a different region, and visit the club's space, but they won't be able to venture out into public spaces like the Dust 514 space together. |