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Ripley Riley
Incorruptibles
12
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Posted - 2015.08.25 16:29:00 -
[1] - Quote
The lingering memory of battlefield perfume, ash and smoke, seems distant now as I drop my tired clone body into a chair. The console before me reads with a string of messages from a one Phoco Nguyen, Logistics and Facility Administrator.. It seems while I was out earning my wage there were some issues on my warbarge...
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
SUBJECT: Stronk bawkexs
YC 117 - 08.17
Hey Ripples,
Just wanted you to know I designated storage 337, next to the complex armor repairers, for your encrypted strongbox things. The hell are these strongboxes for anyway?
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
SUBJECT: Neeeeerds
YC 117 - 08.23
Hey Ripples,
Another update. We moved the strongboxes to shared storage with warbarge components adjacent to experimental lab. The lab nerds said something about the boxes taking up storage they would use for some kind of new heavy gatling laser or something. I told them to take it up with you lol.
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
SUBJECT: You didnGÇÖt like vehicles anyway, right?
YC 117 - 09.04
Hey boss,
I didnGÇÖt think you would mind, but we moved the strongboxes into the vehicle compartment. I mean the entire vehicle compartment. Seriously, donGÇÖt go in there unless you happen to crave the sweet release of death.
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
YC 117 - 09.04
SUBJECT: RE: You didnGÇÖt like vehicles anyway, right?
Was the GÇÿsweet release of deathGÇÖ comment over the top? My b.
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
SUBJECT: Goodnight sweet prince
YC 117 - 09.06
It is with great sadness that I report we lost Jamison in a tragic strongbox avalanche in vehicle storage an hour ago. Jamison was the guy who always made everyone cakes for their birthday. Remember? He was supposed to retire in a monthGǪ DamnGǪ Also, IGÇÖm fairly sure he has like six kids.
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: #Errbody
SUBJECT: Donations for Jamison
YC 117 - 09.06
Hey everyone,
Just wanted to let everyone know I am taking donations for JamisonGÇÖs wife and six kids. Any ISK you can spare would help them IGÇÖm sure. Remember his parting words for usGǪ
GÇ£BLASTED STRONGBOXES WHY?! ARRRRRRRRRHHHHH MY SPINE!GÇ¥ Then kind of a wet, crackling noise. It was very moving. Poignant even.
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
SUBJECT: Whoops
YC 117 - 09.11
Ripley,
The loaders and I have attempted fitting strongboxes into storage 113 to 503. Some dropsuit modules had to be jettisoned.
Completely unrelated: All fittings requiring uplinks, nanohives, core locus grenades, and BeaconGÇÖs swarm launchers have been made invalid. Your GÇÿQuafeGÇÖ Amarr medium SKIN has gone missing. The crew and I suspect the late widow Jamison.
Also unrelated: CONCORD has fined you 1,000,000.00 ISK for sending destructive debris into the station we were orbiting at the time. There were no survivors.
P.S. - Company picnic on Saturday. Hope you can make it!
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
SUBJECT: Shimmy shimmy coco puff(?)
YC 117 - 09.16
Ripley,
One strongbox seems to be repeating a 'Country Grammar' by a certain Nelly. It has been doing so for going on 24 hours with no end in sight. One crewmember has already taken his own life with a repair tool... Took him a while with that.
Completely unrelated: hallway 7C is currently closed for cleaning.
P.S. - Hated you couldnGÇÖt make the picnic 
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
SUBJECT: ...
YC 117 - 09.17
Dear sir,
We have received the ten encrypted keys this morning.
Are you ******* kidding me right now? Why canGÇÖt we just trash these things?
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
SUBJECT: RE: ...
YC 117 - 09.17
Forgot to tell you the contents of the boxesGǪ
1x GÇÿSimpsonsGÇÖ Minmatar heavy SKIN
4x GÇÿQuafeGÇÖ toering
7x Encrypted strongbox cozy
14x Crushed Magazines (1)
2x Strongboxes (2)
50x Militia grade SMGs
1x Judge RhadamanthusGÇÖ CPM1 term (3)
50x Snorri +ürnason commemorative blow-up doll, complete with GÇ£attachmentsGÇ¥
69x Fister Assister, property of Jadek Menaheim
1x Dust 514 x86 (4)
(1) - What should we do with this? I assume we could use it later. When will our highly advanced, spacefaring civilization finally discover the long forgotten technique of recycling our junk?! WHEN?!
(2) - First: why? Second: how?!
(3) - It was here a minute agoGǪ where did it go? Weird.
(4) - We stopped using x86 processors millenniums ago. Will sell it to a scrap vendor as soon as I can, boss, don't worry.
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
SUBJECT: Warbarge: paranormal activity
YC 117 - 09.20
Ripples,
The crew has been telling me some weird stuff about vehicle storage. Wailing noises, odd dripping sounds, and sudden cold spots out of nowhere. They are saying itGÇÖs Jamison come back from deathGÇÖs gate, looking for all the missing strongbox keys!
I saw where your compatriot, Breakin Stuff, was only 1.7 AUs away so I sent him an urgent message to come assess the situation. He arrived within minutes, quickly sprinted to deck 3, clogged all available toilets, then left without saying a word.
@Ripley_Riley Ripley.Riley on Skype!
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Cat Merc
Negative-Feedback.
Negative-Feedback
18
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Posted - 2015.08.25 16:32:00 -
[2] - Quote
stronkbawks wrote: 50x Snorri +ürnason commemorative blow-up doll, complete with GÇ£attachmentsGÇ¥
69x Fister Assister, property of Jadek Menaheim
[NEEDING ADULT INTENSIFIES]
AND THEN STEVE BUSCEMI SHOWS UP ON A FLYING PIG FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON
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DRT 99
RAT PATROL INC.
550
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Posted - 2015.08.25 16:53:00 -
[3] - Quote
as good as 'shoot scout with yes'
another forum classic by ripley riley |
Breakin Stuff
Goonfeet
Special Planetary Emergency Response Group
10
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Posted - 2015.08.25 16:59:00 -
[4] - Quote
I was more than happy to render assistance.
I may or may not have stored some of my lockboxes in your Waste processing and water treatment facilities.
Hope you don't mind.
WoW has taught me that Purple means Legendary. This means Quafe suits are the optimal loadout for killing all of you.
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Adipem Nothi
Nos Nothi
13
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Posted - 2015.08.25 17:14:00 -
[5] - Quote
Brilliant. Take my likes!
CPM Sgt Kirk - On Community
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Regis Blackbird
DUST University
Ivy League
1
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Posted - 2015.08.25 17:32:00 -
[6] - Quote
Absolutely fantastic!
+1 |
Xeriphem
Glitched Connection
71
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Posted - 2015.08.25 17:42:00 -
[7] - Quote
Don't know which is better. This or the Quafe commercial. This def funnier though.
I'm WHERE?!
"If you're playing fair, you're not doing it right!" - Jenza Aranda
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Ahkhomi Cypher
Opus Arcana
1
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Posted - 2015.08.25 18:07:00 -
[8] - Quote
I support this thread
...
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Tweaksz
0uter.Heaven
319
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Posted - 2015.08.25 18:26:00 -
[9] - Quote
Take my likes you beautiful bastard.
Pill popping madness!!!
Your friendly neighborhood struggle snuggle buddy.
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Matticus Monk
Opus Arcana
2
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Posted - 2015.08.25 18:54:00 -
[10] - Quote
Good help is hard to find.
Nice one! |
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J0LLY R0G3R
Nos Nothi
4
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Posted - 2015.08.25 18:59:00 -
[11] - Quote
XD
Lacking
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One Eyed King
Nos Nothi
11
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Posted - 2015.08.25 20:10:00 -
[12] - Quote
I don't know if I like this Phoco guy.
He always seems to come to you with problems, never solutions.
Not once did he mention calling the Ghostbusters for Jamison. You think if he really loved his kids he would spend time haunting them. That is what Ghost Dad did. Although given it was a Cosby movie, I am beginning to suspect ulterior motives there as well.
TL; DR Phoco needs some leadership training. Jamison needs to man up and be there for his kids, dead or not.
Former CEO of the Land of the BIind.
Any double entendre is unintended I assure you.
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Ripley Riley
Incorruptibles
12
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Posted - 2015.08.25 20:37:00 -
[13] - Quote
One Eyed King wrote:TL; DR Phoco needs some leadership training. Jamison needs to man up and be there for his kids, dead or not. Irrefutable logic, 1iKing. I will schedule coaching sessions with Phoco and Jamison after our weekly team huddle / pancake luncheon.
@Ripley_Riley Ripley.Riley on Skype!
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No-one-ganks like-Gaston
Corrosive Synergy
No Context
116
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Posted - 2015.08.25 21:08:00 -
[14] - Quote
Xeriphem wrote:Don't know which is better. This or the Quafe commercial. This def funnier though.
I'll need to whip up some more advertisements. Those first few were fun. Wonder if I could throw some at Rattati. |
Aeon Amadi
Negative-Feedback.
Negative-Feedback
12
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Posted - 2015.08.25 21:08:00 -
[15] - Quote
Intercepted Message
EDIT: Ripley, you seriously need to make sure your workers encrypt their end too. Security encryptions are useless unless both sides use them.
Thanks for all the support guys, let's fix Dust 514
:D
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maybe deadcatz
the nomercs
555
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Posted - 2015.08.25 22:38:00 -
[16] - Quote
Couldn't help but lol.
Lol.
Here's a like. Don't eat it.you don't know where I've been.
'Perhaps fate will bless us,before this world opens its maw and swallows us'-space pirate encrypted log.
They all died.
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Moochie Cricket
Fatal Absolution
1
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Posted - 2015.08.25 23:55:00 -
[17] - Quote
I'm goin down down baby...
Caldari Tribute Montage
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Robert Conway
Concordiat Mercenaries
561
|
Posted - 2015.08.26 00:24:00 -
[18] - Quote
I was laughing so hard people at work were looking at me like I was crazy. Haha. I don't care. It was worth it! +1
Yassavi Approved. -Aero Yassavi
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Ripley Riley
Incorruptibles
12
|
Posted - 2015.08.26 00:57:00 -
[19] - Quote
Aeon Amadi wrote:Intercepted MessageEDIT: Ripley, you seriously need to make sure your workers encrypt their end too. Security encryptions are useless unless both sides use them. But I use AVG Anti-virus and the adsblocker! Isn't that all I need?
@Ripley_Riley Ripley.Riley on Skype!
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microwave UDIE
Incorruptibles
96
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Posted - 2015.08.26 02:28:00 -
[20] - Quote
You actually made me laugh you post whhore bastard.
Signature that says stuff.
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Ripley Riley
Incorruptibles
12
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Posted - 2015.08.26 10:30:00 -
[21] - Quote
microwave UDIE wrote:You actually made me laugh you post ***** bastard. I aim to please.
@Ripley_Riley Ripley.Riley on Skype!
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Asad Thahab-Jabal
Incorruptibles
63
|
Posted - 2015.09.15 14:06:00 -
[22] - Quote
Bump. |
Ateroith
Random Gunz
Rise Of Legion.
56
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Posted - 2015.09.15 14:58:00 -
[23] - Quote
Riley Ripley for president +1
"...Rule #2 - Never start a fight. Rule #3 - Never lose one either." - Lee Child
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el OPERATOR
Sinq Laison Gendarmes
Gallente Federation
1
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Posted - 2015.09.15 15:42:00 -
[24] - Quote
I'll trade you 1456 stongboxes for one of those cozy's.
Open-Beta Vet.
CAPCRO Nomad.
DUST514 is WARFARE, not WAR-FAIR
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Ripley Riley
Incorruptibles
12
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Posted - 2015.11.02 22:43:00 -
[25] - Quote
Bump? Bump.
"I get to fist tanks in butt" - Jadek Menaheim
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