Ripley Riley
Incorruptibles
12
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Posted - 2015.08.25 16:29:00 -
[1] - Quote
The lingering memory of battlefield perfume, ash and smoke, seems distant now as I drop my tired clone body into a chair. The console before me reads with a string of messages from a one Phoco Nguyen, Logistics and Facility Administrator.. It seems while I was out earning my wage there were some issues on my warbarge...
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
SUBJECT: Stronk bawkexs
YC 117 - 08.17
Hey Ripples,
Just wanted you to know I designated storage 337, next to the complex armor repairers, for your encrypted strongbox things. The hell are these strongboxes for anyway?
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
SUBJECT: Neeeeerds
YC 117 - 08.23
Hey Ripples,
Another update. We moved the strongboxes to shared storage with warbarge components adjacent to experimental lab. The lab nerds said something about the boxes taking up storage they would use for some kind of new heavy gatling laser or something. I told them to take it up with you lol.
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
SUBJECT: You didnGÇÖt like vehicles anyway, right?
YC 117 - 09.04
Hey boss,
I didnGÇÖt think you would mind, but we moved the strongboxes into the vehicle compartment. I mean the entire vehicle compartment. Seriously, donGÇÖt go in there unless you happen to crave the sweet release of death.
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
YC 117 - 09.04
SUBJECT: RE: You didnGÇÖt like vehicles anyway, right?
Was the GÇÿsweet release of deathGÇÖ comment over the top? My b.
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
SUBJECT: Goodnight sweet prince
YC 117 - 09.06
It is with great sadness that I report we lost Jamison in a tragic strongbox avalanche in vehicle storage an hour ago. Jamison was the guy who always made everyone cakes for their birthday. Remember? He was supposed to retire in a monthGǪ DamnGǪ Also, IGÇÖm fairly sure he has like six kids.
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: #Errbody
SUBJECT: Donations for Jamison
YC 117 - 09.06
Hey everyone,
Just wanted to let everyone know I am taking donations for JamisonGÇÖs wife and six kids. Any ISK you can spare would help them IGÇÖm sure. Remember his parting words for usGǪ
GÇ£BLASTED STRONGBOXES WHY?! ARRRRRRRRRHHHHH MY SPINE!GÇ¥ Then kind of a wet, crackling noise. It was very moving. Poignant even.
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
SUBJECT: Whoops
YC 117 - 09.11
Ripley,
The loaders and I have attempted fitting strongboxes into storage 113 to 503. Some dropsuit modules had to be jettisoned.
Completely unrelated: All fittings requiring uplinks, nanohives, core locus grenades, and BeaconGÇÖs swarm launchers have been made invalid. Your GÇÿQuafeGÇÖ Amarr medium SKIN has gone missing. The crew and I suspect the late widow Jamison.
Also unrelated: CONCORD has fined you 1,000,000.00 ISK for sending destructive debris into the station we were orbiting at the time. There were no survivors.
P.S. - Company picnic on Saturday. Hope you can make it!
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
SUBJECT: Shimmy shimmy coco puff(?)
YC 117 - 09.16
Ripley,
One strongbox seems to be repeating a 'Country Grammar' by a certain Nelly. It has been doing so for going on 24 hours with no end in sight. One crewmember has already taken his own life with a repair tool... Took him a while with that.
Completely unrelated: hallway 7C is currently closed for cleaning.
P.S. - Hated you couldnGÇÖt make the picnic 
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
SUBJECT: ...
YC 117 - 09.17
Dear sir,
We have received the ten encrypted keys this morning.
Are you ******* kidding me right now? Why canGÇÖt we just trash these things?
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
SUBJECT: RE: ...
YC 117 - 09.17
Forgot to tell you the contents of the boxesGǪ
1x GÇÿSimpsonsGÇÖ Minmatar heavy SKIN
4x GÇÿQuafeGÇÖ toering
7x Encrypted strongbox cozy
14x Crushed Magazines (1)
2x Strongboxes (2)
50x Militia grade SMGs
1x Judge RhadamanthusGÇÖ CPM1 term (3)
50x Snorri +ürnason commemorative blow-up doll, complete with GÇ£attachmentsGÇ¥
69x Fister Assister, property of Jadek Menaheim
1x Dust 514 x86 (4)
(1) - What should we do with this? I assume we could use it later. When will our highly advanced, spacefaring civilization finally discover the long forgotten technique of recycling our junk?! WHEN?!
(2) - First: why? Second: how?!
(3) - It was here a minute agoGǪ where did it go? Weird.
(4) - We stopped using x86 processors millenniums ago. Will sell it to a scrap vendor as soon as I can, boss, don't worry.
FROM: Phoco Nguyen [[email protected]]
TO: Ripley Riley [[email protected]]
SUBJECT: Warbarge: paranormal activity
YC 117 - 09.20
Ripples,
The crew has been telling me some weird stuff about vehicle storage. Wailing noises, odd dripping sounds, and sudden cold spots out of nowhere. They are saying itGÇÖs Jamison come back from deathGÇÖs gate, looking for all the missing strongbox keys!
I saw where your compatriot, Breakin Stuff, was only 1.7 AUs away so I sent him an urgent message to come assess the situation. He arrived within minutes, quickly sprinted to deck 3, clogged all available toilets, then left without saying a word.
@Ripley_Riley Ripley.Riley on Skype!
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