Derrith Erador
Fatal Absolution
3
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Posted - 2015.08.20 07:13:00 -
[1] - Quote
Previously on ancient heroes: Silver tripped on acid, saw some stuff, went out to the desert, found a ***** city. Looked for information!!
And now our feature presentation.
Himiko: So you're looking for Roman.
Silver: How did you know?...
Badgerr: I had to take a few numbers... if you know what I mean.
B1ack Ice: He was at the meat department and overheard about a monk in town.
Silver: But I told no one.
Badgerr: Shut up you salty bus skank!! I had to do terrible things to learn about him! And then I had sex with multiple people. BOOM!
B1ack Ice: Hah! I could've done that! I'm the only girl on this council.
Xeroo: Doesn't mean you take it half as good as we can. I saw Vadg here take a full 16, by himself!
Waters: Ha! Lightweight. I took a full 31 at once, made em all release more than 80 times!
Silver: So..... does anyone know where Roman is?
Zatata: I do, but I require a price. I'm missing a very valuable object.
Silly: Dangit, woman!! Let it go! It's gone, and will stay gone!
Ghost: You mean this sex tape? I stumbled it while watching my weeaboo crap.
Ghost gives zatata the tape, she immediately puts it in the player, and they all watch it.
Zatata: Such memories...
Silly: Turn that off! I'm too black fo' dis!
Zatata: You don't want to relive our happiest moment? You're so cruel, and unclutch.
Zatata weeps profusely. Himi stands up suddenly.
Himiko: Silver, for your valiant efforts in finding this sacred artifact...
Ghost: Wait, I found that!
Himiko: Shut up!! Anyway, Roman can be found on an expedition at the sea of Churlie.
Silver: Thanks, well, I'll be going now.
B1ack Ice: Wait! there's an additional reward!
Silver: Ummm, okay. What?
Himiko: Me. I'm your reward.
B1ack Ice: Wait, I was referring to...
Himiko: Quiet little girl, cougars are on the prowl, and cougars always get what we want. And I want you, monk.
Silver: I'll pass, thanks.
Himiko: This reward is mandatory. You're getting it big boy, like it or not.
Himiko proceeds to remove its trench coat. Silver immediately dashes out the door as Himi removes coat. Himiko sighs.
Himiko: What a shame, *presses button* Attention big boys and bigger boys! There is a cute monk loose in the club, catch him and he's all yours for a week. But only after I've had my way with him.
As Silver rushes out onto the dance floor, he notices an even larger crowd looking at him than before. Silver swallows a lump in his throat and pulls out the phallus staff given by Harry Bawlls. He knew what had to happen.
Himiko: I'm coming for you monk, then we can have all the fun we want!
Silver immediately jumps into the crowd and starts attacking the crowd with his staff. He thrusts it into the stomachs of three separate fighters.
Jigoku: Ouchies!
Mexxx: Owie, that smarts!
Maximus: Wrong spot, sweet thang.
As more and more dancers pile on top of Silver, he's forced to do a super break dance move and trip them all. It doesn't stop them, as more and more keep coming. As they pile on top of Silver, he feels many disturbing things rub on him.
Pizzle: I don't care what Himiko says, we're going to have some fun. It'll be with E-R, and he's hard as a rock!
Just when it seems that Silver is doomed to a lifetime of homoerotic debauchery, a strange light glimmers through the room, and a mystical blast knocks all the dancers back. A mysterious figure, cloaked in a tattered pink outfit appears in front of Silver.
Stranger: Come with me, if you want to keep your virginity.
Silver immediately gets off the ground, grabs his staff and leaves the club with the mystery man. Once they manage to sneak out through a back door in the walls, they stop to catch a breath.
Silver: I thank you stranger for rescuing me. Might I have your name?
Stranger: Devin Xer.
Silver: I see, I thank you again for saving me, but I'm afraid I must leave your company. I'm on an important mission which I cannot delay.
Devin: You're looking for Roman? Hate to break it to you, but he's no longer at Churlie. His expedition hit a snag and he's looking for the keys.
Silver: Keys? And how do you know all this?
Devin: I was sent by Munson to guide you on your journey, and make sure you succeed. You got me on the keys though.
Silver: Where can I find him now?
Devin: Last I heard, he was in Kadlina searching for the second Hero.
Silver: Hero? This sounds like you're making this up on the fly. But you're my best lead unfortunately. Kadlina is leagues away from here, how will we get there in time?
Devin grabs Silvers head and suddenly everything goes black. Suddenly Silver sees a rotating sphere made of sparkling blue. Inside the sphere, he can make out the words "loading...".
Suddenly his vision returns and he sees a large city colored in emerald.
Devin: We're here.
Silver: How did you...
Devin: I can teleport.
Silver: .... Will this ever get explained?
Devin: Probably not. Let's go find Roman.
As the heroes make their way into the city, they notice the city gradually gets more beautiful. After about 10 minutes walking around the city, Devin stops and points at a large skyscraper.
Devin: He's in here. I can sense him.
Silver: Yet another question I'll never know.
As they enter the building, they hear a loud voice shout:
Voice: ...Because you're all fat!
A man storms out in rage, shoving Devin and Silver on his way out. Shrugging it off, Devin makes his way into the room the man stormed out of, with Silver following close. Devin opens the door.
Devin: They're in here.
Silver: Right.
They enter and see four men laughing so hard they look to be choking. One of them gets up after noticing Silver and Devin.
Roman: So you've caught up with us I see.
99% of what Derrith says is stupidity. -D3lta Blitzkrieg
Oh yeah?! Well, I love redheads.
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Derrith Erador
Fatal Absolution
3
|
Posted - 2015.08.20 18:02:00 -
[2] - Quote
Jigoku No ReizaSan wrote:XEROO COOL wrote:lol... gonna sound like Patrick57 I bet. I'm 18 bra :) my body is hot, young, lubed, and ready.
Is it a woman's body? Cause if so... how are you a FA.g?!
99% of what Derrith says is stupidity. -D3lta Blitzkrieg
Oh yeah?! Well, I love redheads.
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