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Talon Paetznick II
New Eden's Army
Learning Alliance
84
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Posted - 2015.04.30 21:18:00 -
[1] - Quote
He opens strongboxes with his bare hands
He once glared an mcc out of the sky
He hacks objectives by asking them to switch sides, and they do
He invented devs
His warbarge is quafe
He has the maximum loyalty rank and he hasn't ever purchased aurum
He has never lost a battle or a suit
He puts the officer in officer gear
He is not a clone he is the clone
He died once just to see what it feels like
He isn't any one race he is all of the above
He owns the original star map
He doesn't need a nanite injector or a rep tool he heals clones by standing near them
He is the most interesting mercenary in new eden
all proper murder is premeditated, that's what makes new Eden fun
acidental mansluaghter charges in FW however are not
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Iron Wolf Saber
Den of Swords
19456
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Posted - 2015.04.30 21:20:00 -
[2] - Quote
I don't always drink; but when I do I make sure its Quafe Ultra
CPM 1, Secretary
Omni-Soldier, Forum Warrior
\\= ADV HAVs =// Unlocked
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Jonny D Buelle
Mors Effera
1191
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Posted - 2015.04.30 21:20:00 -
[3] - Quote
He once rode a sentinel into combat like a horse.
He doesn't teabag, he potatoe sacks.
He once took Duna's tank, while Duna was still in it.
I find your lack of heaviness... disturbing...
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Reign Omega
T.H.I.R.D R.O.C.K
1476
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Posted - 2015.04.30 21:27:00 -
[4] - Quote
The most intresting merc in New Eden knows that the word is actually..
Interesting.
Mark a$$ tricks, and bags of dicks....
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Talon Paetznick II
New Eden's Army
Learning Alliance
86
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Posted - 2015.04.30 21:30:00 -
[5] - Quote
His heavy suits have an HMG and a forge gun
He only uses melee and never uses microfibral stimulants
He once killed a drop ship with a thrown blueberry
He once convinced an RE to detonate inside its users pocket
all proper murder is premeditated, that's what makes new Eden fun
acidental mansluaghter charges in FW however are not
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Onesimus Tarsus
is-a-Corporation
3361
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Posted - 2015.04.30 21:31:00 -
[6] - Quote
Vaguely...familiar.
As of April 9, 2015, we have about 330 days of DUST 514 left. Enjoy them!
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Michael Epic
Horizons' Edge
831
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Posted - 2015.04.30 21:34:00 -
[7] - Quote
I'm flattered guys....I knew you missed me while I was banned, but didn't realize it was that much :D
Michael Epic's "EPIC" Proposal to his girlfriend :D
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Scheneighnay McBob
And the ButtPirates
6330
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Posted - 2015.04.30 21:42:00 -
[8] - Quote
He can actually make sense out of the original star map
Some details can be ignored
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I-Shayz-I
I----------I
5473
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Posted - 2015.04.30 21:52:00 -
[9] - Quote
He drops orbitals only when the warbarge has earned enough WP
He has so many skill points, CCP had to add more skills to the game to prevent the game from crashing
His BPO LAV is proto
He militia stomps with his fists
7162 wp with a Repair Tool!
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shaman oga
Dead Man's Game
4543
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Posted - 2015.04.30 21:53:00 -
[10] - Quote
You mean Robby Calafato?
Shaman's Shack - A place to trade
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Moochie Cricket
Fatal Absolution
Negative-Feedback
1176
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Posted - 2015.04.30 22:06:00 -
[11] - Quote
He proto stomps in militia gear.
He can call in another vehicle while the last request is still pending.
He plays at 60+ fps.
FOR THE STATE
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Talon Paetznick II
New Eden's Army
Learning Alliance
89
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Posted - 2015.04.30 22:10:00 -
[12] - Quote
Unlike Scotty he never makes mistakes
When he forms a squad he takes up all 7 slots
He eats biomass for breakfast
His ion pistol never seizes
He has never needed to reload, he only does it give others a chance
He has an officer weapon named after him that is only salvaged once , he owns that weapon
He once nerfed ccp , it was called fanfest
all proper murder is premeditated, that's what makes new Eden fun
acidental mansluaghter charges in FW however are not
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Breakin Stuff
Goonfeet
Special Planetary Emergency Response Group
8313
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Posted - 2015.04.30 22:15:00 -
[13] - Quote
I myself was unable to mock or troll him.
His scams give all of the stolen loot back to their original owners.
Two hundred female DUST characters (some actually played by women) wish they could be with him.
There's never enough sh**posting going on, so let's add a few more teaspoons of the guy posting after me to the recipie!
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Pocket Rocket Girl
Psygod9
350
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Posted - 2015.04.30 22:30:00 -
[14] - Quote
Iron Wolf Saber wrote:I don't always drink; but when I do I make sure its Quafe Ultra
what about Dos Q's
Moo?
. . .
Le Moo?
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Bremen van Equis
Incorruptibles
425
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Posted - 2015.04.30 22:53:00 -
[15] - Quote
He doesn't wear a dropsuit, he goes drop-casual.
In Domination, he is the objective.
He doesn't have to hack installations, they simply acquiesce.
Buckle up, boysGǪthis ramp leads to space. -Axe Cop
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Mex-0
634
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Posted - 2015.04.30 22:59:00 -
[16] - Quote
Ha
add ishukone nova spoons CCP!
Falcon punch > everything (except nova knives and plc)
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CELESTA AUNGM
Kang Lo Directorate
Gallente Federation
555
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Posted - 2015.04.30 23:17:00 -
[17] - Quote
 Holy %$*# ---this is a masterpiece!
(Yes, I just cursed, and I very rarely type swearing---that's how entertaining it was reading these)
I'm serious, you guys may not realize what a great compilation of lines you posted here. The humor and imagination on this thread is OFF THE CHART. BETTER than anything the professionals earn big salaries thinking up in that commercial.
It's really unfortunate that this thread's going to be buried on Page-18 by this time tomorrowGǪ
Can we arrange for CCP to see this thread and give it a special slot on the Forum, or a special mention in their Blog? Personally I am going to copy paste all these lines and compile it into one post. POST-AUTHOR, please do the same.
Let's try to preserve this.
This is CHAMPION! So creative!
Universe of good wishes for the 49, especially CCP Eterne...
No story can have life without writers and publishers.
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Moochie Cricket
Fatal Absolution
Negative-Feedback
1179
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Posted - 2015.04.30 23:43:00 -
[18] - Quote
CELESTA AUNGM wrote: Holy %$*# ---this is a masterpiece! (Yes, I just cursed, and I very rarely type swearing---that's how entertaining it was reading these) I'm serious, you guys may not realize what a great compilation of lines you posted here. The humor and imagination on this thread is OFF THE CHART. BETTER than anything the professionals earn big salaries thinking up in that commercial. It's really unfortunate that this thread's going to be buried on Page-18 by this time tomorrowGǪ Iron Wolf Saber, can you request for CCP to see this thread and give it a special slot on the Forum, or Sticky-it, or write a special mention in their Blog? Personally I am going to copy paste all these lines and compile it into one post. POST-AUTHOR Talon, please do the same. Let's try to preserve this. This is CHAMPION! So creative!
His threads never get buried on Page-18 because he buries GMs.
FOR THE STATE
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Mex-0
634
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Posted - 2015.04.30 23:45:00 -
[19] - Quote
CELESTA AUNGM wrote: Holy %$*# ---this is a masterpiece! (Yes, I just cursed, and I very rarely type swearing---that's how entertaining it was reading these) I'm serious, you guys may not realize what a great compilation of lines you posted here. The humor and imagination on this thread is OFF THE CHART. BETTER than anything the professionals earn big salaries thinking up in that commercial. It's really unfortunate that this thread's going to be buried on Page-18 by this time tomorrowGǪ Iron Wolf Saber, can you request for CCP to see this thread and give it a special slot on the Forum, or Sticky-it, or write a special mention in their Blog? Personally I am going to copy paste all these lines and compile it into one post. POST-AUTHOR Talon, please do the same. Let's try to preserve this. This is CHAMPION! So creative!
That wakward moment when there was a post like this a looong time ago...
add ishukone nova spoons CCP!
Falcon punch > everything (except nova knives and plc)
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Scheneighnay McBob
And the ButtPirates
6342
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Posted - 2015.05.01 00:05:00 -
[20] - Quote
I swear my instructor at AIT looked exactly like the dos equis guy. He was retired.
Some details can be ignored
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Bremen van Equis
Incorruptibles
428
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Posted - 2015.05.01 00:33:00 -
[21] - Quote
He has over 2 million YouTube subscribers...and no videos.
Buckle up, boysGǪthis ramp leads to space. -Axe Cop
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Darken-Sol
BIG BAD W0LVES
1988
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Posted - 2015.05.01 00:38:00 -
[22] - Quote
Jonny D Buelle wrote:He once rode a sentinel into combat like a horse.
He doesn't teabag, he potatoe sacks.
He once took Duna's tank, while Duna was still in it.
Rectally?
Crush them
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Bremen van Equis
Incorruptibles
428
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Posted - 2015.05.01 00:41:00 -
[23] - Quote
He gives squad orders...to red dots.
Buckle up, boysGǪthis ramp leads to space. -Axe Cop
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Criteria Shipment
The Hundred Acre Hood
Rise Of Legion.
976
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Posted - 2015.05.01 01:06:00 -
[24] - Quote
This ******* thread XD I guess I'll pitch in.
He only breathes when he wants to, and the air lives on when he says so.
He's the only man to lose his virginity to himself.
He can outrun a fast traveling spaceship with a proto gallente
He has CCP on its knees without any tech limitations on the Playstation 2
He once caught an MCC with his own rope-like d*ck
He stared at caldari prime and it crashed into New Eden.
Once, he tried to think of a successful FPS to launch on the Playstation 3 system, and he had his help from his former Swedish igloo buddies ;) |
Denchlad 7
The Rainbow Effect
Negative-Feedback
2190
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Posted - 2015.05.01 01:12:00 -
[25] - Quote
This thread feels like a cleverly engineered "All hail GJR" thread.
General John Ripper is definatly the most interesting merc in new eden so...all hail GJR.
Praise the pipes?
lolCP?
I'm 98% likely to better than you at using any gun.
Dench's Emporium of Everything! coming soon...
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Merc Norris
0
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Posted - 2015.05.01 02:52:00 -
[26] - Quote
Criteria Shipment wrote:This ******* thread XD I guess I'll pitch in.
He only breathes when he wants to, and the air lives on when he says so.
He's the only man to lose his virginity to himself.
He can outrun a fast traveling spaceship with a proto gallente
He has CCP on its knees without any tech limitations on the Playstation 2
He once caught an MCC with his own rope-like d*ck
He stared at caldari prime and it crashed into New Eden.
Once, he tried to think of a successful FPS to launch on the Playstation 3 system, and he had his help from his former Swedish igloo buddies ;)
I think you're talking about me. Of course I am also the most interesting mercenary in New Eden, but now that I am here, it is simply called Eden.
PS: I don't need likes. Likes need me.
This signature is the most clever signature.
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VAHZZ
Arrary of Clusters
1668
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Posted - 2015.05.01 02:53:00 -
[27] - Quote
Merc Norris wrote:Criteria Shipment wrote:This ******* thread XD I guess I'll pitch in.
He only breathes when he wants to, and the air lives on when he says so.
He's the only man to lose his virginity to himself.
He can outrun a fast traveling spaceship with a proto gallente
He has CCP on its knees without any tech limitations on the Playstation 2
He once caught an MCC with his own rope-like d*ck
He stared at caldari prime and it crashed into New Eden.
Once, he tried to think of a successful FPS to launch on the Playstation 3 system, and he had his help from his former Swedish igloo buddies ;) I think you're talking about me. Of course I am also the most interesting mercenary in New Eden, but now that I am here, it is simply called Eden. PS: I don't need likes. Likes need me.
Scrub.
Day 1/30 Return to Sniper Scout
Blog
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Merc Norris
0
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Posted - 2015.05.01 03:09:00 -
[28] - Quote
VAHZZ wrote:Merc Norris wrote:Criteria Shipment wrote:This ******* thread XD I guess I'll pitch in.
He only breathes when he wants to, and the air lives on when he says so.
He's the only man to lose his virginity to himself.
He can outrun a fast traveling spaceship with a proto gallente
He has CCP on its knees without any tech limitations on the Playstation 2
He once caught an MCC with his own rope-like d*ck
He stared at caldari prime and it crashed into New Eden.
Once, he tried to think of a successful FPS to launch on the Playstation 3 system, and he had his help from his former Swedish igloo buddies ;) I think you're talking about me. Of course I am also the most interesting mercenary in New Eden, but now that I am here, it is simply called Eden. PS: I don't need likes. Likes need me. Scrub.
Yes. Until it's clean. Get to it.
This signature is the most clever signature.
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VAHZZ
Arrary of Clusters
1672
|
Posted - 2015.05.01 03:10:00 -
[29] - Quote
Merc Norris wrote:
Yes. Until it's clean. Get to it.
I like you.
Day 1/30 Return to Sniper Scout
Blog
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LUGMOS
Corrosive Synergy
Rise Of Legion.
3837
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Posted - 2015.05.01 03:15:00 -
[30] - Quote
Merc Norris wrote:PS: I don't need likes. Likes need me.
Since when was this Soviet Russia?
Sniper Rifles are for Nitrogenous Dioxide Borons
First to PM me with common name wins
(no Hyansaru, u win too much ;P)
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