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Union118
Heaven's Lost Property
534
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Posted - 2015.04.02 14:25:00 -
[1] - Quote
TELL ME SOME FUNNA @$$ JOKES.
Two guys walk into a bar, right? You would have thought one of them would have seen it.
Starter Fit Suits are OP :-)
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al nize mk2
No Skillz inc.
352
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Posted - 2015.04.02 14:27:00 -
[2] - Quote
Rolf Harris, Gary Glitter and Jimmy Saville walk into a bar..
Barman says "Oh no not yew tree again!"
GÇ£All that I know most surely about morality and obligations I owe to football.GÇ¥
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Ripley Riley
Incorruptibles
8878
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Posted - 2015.04.02 14:36:00 -
[3] - Quote
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't you start anything!"
4 out of 5 dentists agree that orange is not a sound.
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thehellisgoingon
MONSTER SYNERGY
399
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Posted - 2015.04.02 14:37:00 -
[4] - Quote
Look in the mirror. This is the only joke you will ever need. Fatboyyyy |
Joseph Ridgeson
WarRavens
3596
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Posted - 2015.04.02 14:47:00 -
[5] - Quote
Jokes?
Okay.
Ah hem:
DUST 514.
"This is B.S! This is B.S! I paid money! Cash money, dollars money, cash money!"
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Yeeeuuuupppp
993
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Posted - 2015.04.02 15:00:00 -
[6] - Quote
Joseph Ridgeson wrote:Jokes?
Okay.
Ah hem:
DUST 514.
WINNING.
Sheeba Sheeba
PSN: GMANCASH
"I played Dust so long i grew a f--king afro"
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Union118
Heaven's Lost Property
535
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Posted - 2015.04.02 15:04:00 -
[7] - Quote
This secretary just got home from work. She goes inside starts making a meal when the doorbell ring. "Gring Gring"
She opens the door and the mailman drops off the mail and he goes on his way. The lady collects her mail and goes back inside to finishes her food and goes to take a bath. But right before she steps in the doorbell rings again. "Gring Gring"
She goes to the door and asks "Who is it?" A man said "I'm the plumber I need to check your pipes." So she gets a robe on and lets the plumber chech the pipes and he goes on his way. The lady goes to get in her bath when again the doorbell rings. "Gring Gring"
So once again she goes to the door and asks. "Who is it?" A raspy voiced man says its the blind man and he needed some change. The lady thinks. Its just a blind man who wants some money. So she goes to her purse gets some change and opens the door and the blind man says "I need change for the parking meter im here to check your blinds. :D
Starter Fit Suits are OP :-)
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Yeeeuuuupppp
993
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Posted - 2015.04.02 15:07:00 -
[8] - Quote
Is that even considered a joke bruv
Sheeba Sheeba
PSN: GMANCASH
"I played Dust so long i grew a f--king afro"
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Union118
Heaven's Lost Property
535
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Posted - 2015.04.02 15:15:00 -
[9] - Quote
Yeeeuuuupppp wrote:Is that even considered a joke bruv
Yes cuz the lady opened the door naked instead of wirh her robe on.
Starter Fit Suits are OP :-)
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Joseph Ridgeson
WarRavens
3598
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Posted - 2015.04.02 16:27:00 -
[10] - Quote
This works better when told in person as it is mostly the delivery that makes it funny:
Brianna needed a little bit of money so she get this idea in her blonde head: "I'll drive the short bus! How hard can it be?" But she goes all out on this job. She busts out her paint cans and paints Sesame Street characters on the bus. Does a bang up job on it to. "This should make the kids' trip to school just a little bit more fun!"
The first morning. She is driving to pick the kids up at their homes. The first stop, this hideous dumpy girl waddles up the steps and says "I'm Patty!" and sits down at the same time as she lets some of her flatulence fly. Brianna thinks, "Okay, Fatty Patty. Fatty Patty" to herself as a method to learn her name. Next stop, even more grotesque misshapen flesh of a little girl. "I'm Patty!" as she grunts up the stairs. "Okay, same thing. Fatty Patty." Seems like the job was easy enough.
Next stop, there is a smiling boy that goes up the step. "Hello Sunshine. My name is Ross" and hugs her. He sits down and puts his hands in his lap. "Aww, he's special." Sadly for Brianna, the warmth from seeing such a nice young boy is quickly shattered as she goes to the next stop. This kid is obviously a little bit too old to be getting on the bus but his mother was there, eagerly assuring Brianna that he was supposed to get on the bus. "Hey b****! How are you?! I'm Lester!" Brianna tries to not roll her eyes. "No problem there; I think I can remember that devil's name..."
Brianna starts heading to the special ed school, every once in a while watching the mirror to keep an eye on Lester. Lester and one of the Patty's were playing cards when Patty yells "Driver, he's cheating!" when she catches an ace up his sleeve. "I am not, you fat f***!" Brianna decides to nip it in the bud and has Lester sit behind her. Well, this little monster of a kid decides to do the nastiest thing he can think; he lifts his feet right over Brianna's shoulders as she is driving and he starts scrapping the crusty bits off into her shirt.
Naturally, she swerves as this is happening right at the time that a cop is driving by. The cop turns his lights on and Brianna pulls over. He walks up the steps, sees Lester cackling up a storm and shouting varies porcine statements to the cop. "What the HELL is going on?!"
Brianna just sighs and says "All I can says is two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester cheats and picks his bunions on a Sesame Street bus!"
Reference.
"This is B.S! This is B.S! I paid money! Cash money, dollars money, cash money!"
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Harry Bawlss
Fatal Absolution
223
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Posted - 2015.04.02 16:37:00 -
[11] - Quote
I walk into a bar... Bartender says "what can I get you" I say "I'd like one of your hotdogs, a bowl of beer nuts and the beer on tap" he goes and gets the hotdogs, I start munching, he brings out the nuts, I wait On those, than he brings the beer. I chase the hotdogs with the beer and proceed to start munching on the nuts. The Bartender looks at me and says "don't you feel bad?" I reply with "what for ?" Bartender says "for eating your brothers and sister" I look down at the bowl of nuts, look back at the bartender, look back at the bowl of nuts.... Take a sip from the beer. Than replied "nope, they arent Harry." the bartender looks at men strange. I get up after finishing and walk away, the bartender asked me if I will be coming back... I replied "no, but I left you something to remember me by" bartender looks down where I sat and looks back at me. His face starts to smile and thanks me for leaving him hotdog water.
Now I just made you read something that makes no sense and stupid. |
Operative 1174 Uuali
Y.A.M.A.H
570
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Posted - 2015.04.02 17:00:00 -
[12] - Quote
It's April Fools Day, not National Tell a Joke Day. That is in August.
For more info, go to the National Joke HQ website here:
http://www.ccpgames.com/en/home
Death is a serious businessGǪ So is running a shoddy, half-baked game company.
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Union118
Dem Durrty Boyz
General Tso's Alliance
537
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Posted - 2015.04.05 06:22:00 -
[13] - Quote
So this fat chick goes skipping in the forest and trips over a root. Do the trees laugh if no one else is around?
Starter Fit Suits are OP :-)
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jane stalin
Ametat Security
Amarr Empire
258
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Posted - 2015.04.05 06:31:00 -
[14] - Quote
some extreme jokes, (not extremely funny jokes but extreme jokes)
Duna
Thale snipers that average 300 warpoints a match
Scotty
Me, because I complain about pubstompers every single day. |
Union118
Dem Durrty Boyz
General Tso's Alliance
537
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Posted - 2015.04.05 06:36:00 -
[15] - Quote
jane stalin wrote:some extreme jokes, (not extremely funny jokes but extreme jokes)
Duna
Thale snipers that average 300 warpoints a match
Scotty
Me, because I complain about pubstompers every single day.
Jane umm wait what? I wanna b!tch about pubstompers. XD
Starter Fit Suits are OP :-)
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TooMany Names AlreadyTaken
Going for the gold
1061
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Posted - 2015.04.05 08:31:00 -
[16] - Quote
Some say, the Gallente dropships have the shape of a pe**s. 
(top-down view)
Found my favorite DJ - ATB
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Dovallis Martan JenusKoll
Osmon Surveillance
Caldari State
1223
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Posted - 2015.04.05 10:15:00 -
[17] - Quote
Union118 wrote:TELL ME SOME FUNNA @$$ JOKES.
Two guys walk into a bar, right? You would have thought one of them would have seen it.
Oh lame jokes?
Two guys walk into a bar to order some drinks, and wake up with a doctor handing them water.
http://youtu.be/dtXupQg77SU
Dust to Dust
Remember the dream you had before the day you were born.
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