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Fox Gaden
Immortal Guides
Learning Alliance
5623
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Posted - 2015.01.03 11:20:00 -
[1] - Quote
This is how the First Steps mail that every new play receives starts:
Quote:Welcome!
You show great promise, recruit.
As a cloned soldier, you will endure what few can, and be required to do things that fewer still are capable of. Your future will not be an easy one, but apply yourself, train well and it could be a rewarding one. Before rushing into battle, take some time to familiarize yourself with your surroundings. You are currently in your Merc Quarters (MQ). This is where you spend downtime between battles. Everything you need can be accessed from this room or via your personal Neocom.
A more realistic opening message would have started like this:
Quote:Welcome.
You have been sentenced to house arrest.
You may only leave these quarters to go to work. Your work will allow you to visit new places, meet new people, and shoot them in the face. When at work you will experience a wide variety of pain, bodily mutilation, and death. Because the trauma of death is too exquisitely disturbing to experience just once, we have developed technology to upload your consciousness into a new clone when you expire, so you can experience death over and over again in its many forms. Be sure to savor the moment each time, to appreciate the uniqueness of each death experience.
Hand/Eye coordination cannot be taught. For everything else there is the Learning Coalition.
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Clone Pilot
Onikanabo Brigade
Caldari State
133
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Posted - 2015.01.03 11:22:00 -
[2] - Quote
Fox Gaden wrote:This is how the First Steps mail that every new play receives starts: Quote:Welcome!
You show great promise, recruit.
As a cloned soldier, you will endure what few can, and be required to do things that fewer still are capable of. Your future will not be an easy one, but apply yourself, train well and it could be a rewarding one. Before rushing into battle, take some time to familiarize yourself with your surroundings. You are currently in your Merc Quarters (MQ). This is where you spend downtime between battles. Everything you need can be accessed from this room or via your personal Neocom. A more realistic opening message would have started like this: Quote:Welcome.
You have been sentenced to house arrest.
You may only leave these quarters to go to work. Your work will allow you to visit new places, meet new people, and shoot them in the face. When at work you will experience a wide variety of pain, bodily mutilation, and death. Because the trauma of death is too exquisitely disturbing to experience just once, we have developed technology to upload your consciousness into a new clone when you expire, so you can experience death over and over again in its many forms. Be sure to savor the moment each time, to appreciate the uniqueness of each death experience.
You sir, made my day. *screenshot* |
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