Derrith Erador
Fatal Absolution
3183
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Posted - 2014.12.15 19:44:00 -
[1] - Quote
These forms have been designed to attempt to clear up any misunderstandings or hostilities any corporation or multiple corporations have against the board of the CBM. Please fill out these questions as best you can, and await a response within two to three weeks.
1) Is the disgruntled party signing this form suffering from being fat?
2) Do you own a child who has just relieved himself, and you have to change his/her diaper?
3) CBM hostilities are taken very seriously, any assault upon a CBM run corporation will result in immediate retaliation. If given the opportunity, would you fill out a request form for a form to cease hostilities?
4) Sometimes in order to ensure a complete evaluation, a physical of the form filler must be taken, complete with bodily fluids testing. If so, would you be willing to go out in the middle of a hockey ring, and produce a semen and urine sample for us?
5) Do you work at any CBM run stores? Examples are as follows:
Tiberius's Gynecology office
Geishas for sucky sucky
Derrith's magic missile ride
Zatatas pizza and strip bar
Eve Dust Isk exchange
Forsaken fitness empire
6) Do you suck big meaty poles?
7) Have you ever touched a boob before?
8) CBM will always be trying to expand any business ventures in MH. Sometimes that means removing or relocating other ma and pa businesses. If asked to relocate, and you refuse, how much of a fight do you think you can put up?
9) This question is reserved for explaining why the CBM should not remove you from MH and set up another shopping mall on your land. Please write a 5000 word essay on why we should keep you around.
10) In the event that CBM looks to expand into your area, will you be attempting to meet with any members of the board to discuss a non hostility agreement? If so, please contact three members of the CBM, with your address, zip code and bra size. We will then send you a form for non hostility forms in two to three weeks, then you will be sent the non hostility forms in two to three months.
11) In case the forms do not process, the CBM is always willing to accept a cash offer of no less than 250 million ISK to not attack you. Would you be willing to pay this if it came to it?
Thank you for contacting the CBM, may you have a lovely day.
99% of what Derrith says is stupidity. -D3lta Blitzkrieg
Oh yeah?! Well, I love redheads.
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