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Silver Strike44
284
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Posted - 2014.12.15 19:17:00 -
[1] - Quote
Day 1
I have finally finished building my boat. It is not a ship, it is a boat. Now all I need is a crew of salty, sweaty men to share my future journey with.
I forgot something at home. My journey can wait a bit longer, I must return home to fetch my maple syrup.
Day 4
I have found a crew that can satisfy my needs. They are a little fagish, but they will do. My journey can now truly begin.
Day 5
The men are proving difficult to lead. They only seem to want to follow a man with very fast mittens and his disciples. I know what I must do.
Day 7
I saw a small village on the horizon today, it felt like that village would play some sort of role in my life later on.
Day 13
After over a week of torturous trials, including a second circumcision, I have become a disciple of the guy with rapid hands.
The men are beginning to accept me as a leader.
Day 69
Life is good.
Day 100
100 days have passed since I left home with my maple syrup in hand. I believe it will be a great many more before I get where I am going.
Day 102
The water is calm, too calm.
Day 103
An uprising has begun. It is not in the men, but in the air. It is time to conquer the seven seas.
We have conquered the entirety of a small island. We are the first to do so. We even named it.
Day 200
I apologize diary captain's log, it has been a while since I have written in you. I have been very busy recently. We have fought valiantly to defend our land, but we failed. Our only option was to buy back our land with our plundered gold. It is a sad day indeed. I will drink much maple syrup tonight.
Day 201
Today is a new day. I almost overdid it last night, but that is not what a good leader would do. For the crew's sake, I cannot let the men see me fall apart. We will succeed. We will be the best.
Day 327
Well, it has been proven time and time again that we both cannot succeed and we are never going to be the best. At least not this crew, so I shall find a new one. They will say I have been exiled as a result of my actions, but I left of my own accord.
Day 329
It is proving difficult to find a crew savy enough for my taste. I think I will just hang out with this mob of filthy boyz for a while and have some fun. I deserve it.
Day 365
Today is the one-year anniversary of my departure from my icy homeland. I celebrate it with these dese filthy boyz. I can't help but think there is a being out there who can satisfy me better than the conglomerate of men surrounding me.
Day 452
I have been on leave for far too long. It's time to get back in the game.
In no time at all I have found a crew in need of a captain. They were once great and I believe they could get there again. Their old captain was something sparrow king of meta or some nonsense like that. I will be a better captain.
Day 453
I have found a worthy candidate for my first m8 position. He would be perfect for reasons.
I have invited the little sailor to my quarters. He will soon prove his worth. I heard he goes down on the first date. I am excited.
Day 454
Last night was nice.
Day 455
As he swabs the poopdeck, I can only think of how my first m8 did the same to mine.
Day 456
The crew I have always dreamed of is finally under my captainship. My new commander, who is named after some animal from a children's game, tells me he was raised in a small village across the sea. I wonder if it is the village I laid eyes on so long ago.
Day 460
We have found resistance from two other entities. One enjoys licking lesbians constantly. The other comes from just outside of some religious land. They shall be defeated.
Day 465
It is happening again. We are proving unable to overcome our foes. Surely I am not to blame for our shortcomings.
Day 600
I now realize I was unable to lead my crew to victory against two groups that had been weakened by a hurricane that ravaged most parts of the world. I am ashamed of myself. My commander has betrayed me. I also found out that he did come from that tiny village and that the very vessel I sail upon has more value than that village. I have formed a new crew with some of my old sailors and some new ones. I can see another great storm over the horizon, perhaps it will be our opportunity.
If nothing else, I still have my first m8.
Day 624
The second great storm is not what we thought it would be, but it still did end the sailing careers of some. I am now allied with a very large coalition. Some members are the people I once fought. I have decided I will destroy my old commander (my first m8 told me to).
Day 681
Today I witnessed the greatest pull out game of all time, other than my first m8's, of course.
Day 837
Now is the time of enlightenment. I can see so clearly now. All of my previous actions have been pointless, all but one. That night I spent with my first m8 was the best night of my life. I must relive that night over and over and over and over and over...
Day 8213
I have been in this bed with my first m8 for what seems an eternity, but I am still not truly satisfied. I will continue to seek endless pleasure in the ass of my first m8...
Day 8378213
Satisfaction achieved...
www.nickmunsonisjesus.com
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GeneraI John Ripper
20
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Posted - 2014.12.15 19:27:00 -
[2] - Quote
10/10 I loved the part about the licking lesbians.
I am the original badass.
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Roman837
Murphys-Law
General Tso's Alliance
653
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Posted - 2014.12.15 19:50:00 -
[3] - Quote
So. Who is this story about? Haha
Maple Syrup Drinking Canadian, EVE Character Cesar Sousa, CEO of Murphys-Law
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Ashley Swift
G0DS AM0NG MEN
General Tso's Alliance
26
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Posted - 2014.12.15 20:11:00 -
[4] - Quote
Your vessel sounds like more of a ship than a boat.
Now that you're close I feel like coming undone
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Texas Killionaire
Capital Acquisitions LLC
General Tso's Alliance
353
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Posted - 2014.12.15 20:40:00 -
[5] - Quote
Goddamnitthatwasgood.praisehim.praisenickmunson.gov
If you're not ready to lose, you're not ready to win.
Jello Biafra = God
FOR THE STATE
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Heimdallr69
Nyain San
General Tso's Alliance
3929
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Posted - 2014.12.15 21:28:00 -
[6] - Quote
The flood is coming.
Removed inappropriate content - CCP Logibro
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DlJNN SouI
2
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Posted - 2014.12.15 22:29:00 -
[7] - Quote
rampage is a little ***** with no gungame.
I am the real Soul.
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TechMechMeds
KILL-EM-QUICK
RISE of LEGION
6393
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Posted - 2014.12.16 13:54:00 -
[8] - Quote
At star time 35426, starfleet cruiser 1 from pluto base was attacked by laser torpedoes fired from an alien ship.
I am GJRs Renfield.
You heard it here first, I told you so.
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Cavani1EE7
Murphys-Law
605
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Posted - 2014.12.16 14:18:00 -
[9] - Quote
Parts containing firstm8213 made me LOL.
They say Assaults are balanced between each other. They are Minmatar and Amarr Assaults.
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Dust User
KILL-EM-QUICK
RISE of LEGION
1272
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Posted - 2014.12.16 19:50:00 -
[10] - Quote
I finally took the time to read this.
+1 would read again. |
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Silver Strike44
296
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Posted - 2014.12.16 19:57:00 -
[11] - Quote
Dust User wrote:I finally took the time to read this.
+1 would read again.
Thanks, would you be interested in more like this?
www.nickmunsonisjesus.com
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MR MOJOO
Capital Acquisitions LLC
General Tso's Alliance
4
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Posted - 2014.12.17 07:05:00 -
[12] - Quote
*reads that whole thing * best essay ever I'm writting all that **** down I'm going to get a 100 and mama going to be proud also..hail munson o/
Tank/Ads pilot =ƒæì
Logi ck.0/scout ck.0/assault ck.0=ƒæèCAL!!!
ALL HAIL NICKMUNCHIN!!=ƒÖÅ
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Dust User
KILL-EM-QUICK
RISE of LEGION
1276
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Posted - 2014.12.17 11:18:00 -
[13] - Quote
Silver Strike44 wrote:Dust User wrote:I finally took the time to read this.
+1 would read again. Thanks, would you be interested in more like this?
Does the CBM have any forms to fill out? |
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